Buriram Expats

Buriram Province - General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: aparasher on June 23, 2011, 06:33:27 AM

Title: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 23, 2011, 06:33:27 AM
I need your advise on my recent chain of events which has made me question myself.

I am 40 year old man married 2 years ago with a girl from Prakhonchai. We are expecting our 1st baby girl in Sep this year.

During past  few months there has been lots of politics going on in the office which has taken a little bit of toll on me and I have started questioning my capabilities (I am not a political person). Having said that, money is good and overall organisation is great too. And recently I bought another house as the property market slowed down a bit here in Melbourne. I am sure I can bring the mortgage down to manageable (so that house can keep paying itself by renting it out) level in 5 year and if need be I can use the rent of other

But recently this office politics has really started to bug me.

So, i have 2 options:

1. Suck it up and keep pushing and find another job in worst case scenario. Pay off the house for next 5 year and hang in here while wife and daughter can keep living in Thailand till that time. I can then rent out both places, or sell one of them and rent out other.

2. I can bring wife and daughter back here as it will be good for daughter from schooling and upbringing point of view, and keep living for another 20 years till kid/s grow up and then come back to settle in Thailand. Although, we don't know what may happen in 20 years.

Would love to hear your advise....



Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: urleft on June 23, 2011, 07:38:10 AM
When you have to depend on income from another source (rental), you can be screwed in a heartbeat.  The object is to get self sufficient.  If you cannot handle taking care of multiple properties on your own for 6 months, you are an accident waiting to happen.  It may work out, but if the renter moves, can you continue?  If the answer is no, you can be in deep dodo before you know it.

Good Luck    redman
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 23, 2011, 07:47:00 AM
Thanks for response urleft.

Good point. I guess having some capital on hand would be benefecial.

Do other members who are settled here keep their properties back home? How do they manage them?
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Admin on June 23, 2011, 11:05:18 AM
Thanks for response urleft.

Good point. I guess having some capital on hand would be benefecial.

Do other members who are settled here keep their properties back home? How do they manage them?

I don't know what answers you will get here but many people I have talked with simply sold their property back home and invest the money in different banking saving plans (Offshore accounts?).

Some are using the money and living off their 'income' from selling the property.

Some are keeping the money for emergency cases and have their own income (Pension?).
Will it be enough to live on that kind of income?

40 years old is very young and I wouldn't choose either option.

If you can't afford to pay the mortgage, as said before, if the renter moves you will have a problem.

sawadi
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Starman on June 23, 2011, 12:16:09 PM
I am 41 and have been living full time in Thailand for 13 years. I sold my house in the UK just before I came here. I used the money to pay off debts. I had 1000 pounds left, which I brought with me.

I left the UK for the same reasons you are talking about with regards to politics in the work place. I worked for the same company for 11 years. Totally pissed me off.

I now work here, as a teacher, and live off my Thai income.

The benefits I have reaped both mentally and physically far outweigh any financial losses I have made.

Go with the heart.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Paddyram on June 24, 2011, 06:48:05 PM
Could I add a third option for you aparasher.
Keep the head down and work as usual in the office.  Go to see your GP and let him know about the stress in work and the toll it is taking on you (apetite/sleep/effect on family relationship/grumpiness/stomach pains(ulser symtoms)), so as to get this on the record at least. 
Meanwhile, back in work (hard as it may be) try to let the politics go over your head and don't engage if possible, just concentrate on fulfilling whatever your job description is (and be seen to do this). 
If by 'office politics' you mean harrassment, increased pressure or increased criticism of your work or whatever, you have said this is only become a problem recently, then mention your dissatisfaction to a superior.  You could do it just as a mildly worded comment in an email or whatever, but get it on print, no matter how meekly you mention it.  You can always say later on that you had to mention it, but downplayed the seriousness as you were weary of reprocussions.
Basically, get your records ready in case you have to go for 'Constructive Dismissal' against the company.  You have good labours laws in Australia.   Thats what they are there for.  It might make work a bit uncomfortable, but if they try to make you leave, then work to rule strictly in accordance with your contract, no overtime, no working through lunch, nothing, just do it without making a big militant stance.  Just start one day and carry on.  It also means you can't be fired while this is on the record without it looking suspicious for your company in relation to labour laws.  also,by not engaging in the office politics you are bound to annoy some people thats when they will do something stupid, even a stupid comment and then you hand in you  doctors sick note (stress). 
Now, I know full well I am a bad b@stard when it comes to sneaky things like this (it comes with the job), its up to you how much of one you want to be, but remeber loyalty is for family and friends, work is for paychecks you owe them nothing more than to turn up for work and do your job.  Office politics is for bored @ssholes who should be busy working.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: jeddah on June 25, 2011, 06:59:38 AM
I would be very, very nervous if I owned two properties in Melbourne, or anywhere in Australia for that matter. Here are a couple of articles to show why.
 http://macrobusiness.com.au/2011/05/will-aussie-housing-go-bust/ (http://macrobusiness.com.au/2011/05/will-aussie-housing-go-bust/)
http://macrobusiness.com.au/2011/05/melbourne-housing-hits-the-wall/ (http://macrobusiness.com.au/2011/05/melbourne-housing-hits-the-wall/)
With the pathetically low yields generated from property investment in Australia combined with the fact that there will be no capital growth ( or possibly a 20% correction - depends who you talk to) over the next five years I would strongly suggest diversifying your investments.
When banks in Oz are paying 6.51% interest on your savings and rental yields are around 2 - 3 % It really doesn't make sense to put all your money in property at the moment. Especially when interest rates have only one way to go -  UP and house prices have only one way to go - DOWN
You need to plan your retirement for the worst case scenario. Not the best case scenario.
Just my 2c Good luck whichever way you go.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 25, 2011, 07:16:52 AM
Thanks everyone for your comments and advise. I really appreciate it. All points are quite valid. As Paddy said, I will keep my head down and stay out of politics. I am sure it may annoy some people, but that's least of my concern. So far Australian economy is doing well, so I am least concerned about losing this job. My only regret will be that I like this company and some people are fighting to take control. I guess these people are afraid to find work outside. I can have a somewhat easy life even if I move a level down.

As for maintaining 2 properties. I have already paid 1st property and will keep the 2nd one as investment. In the worst case, I can sell one of them and keep other one, but if I hang in there for next 5-6 years, then I can pay off 2nd one too and can use the capital for retirement.

My only concern remain for my daughter and wife. I am not sure if I should bring both of them to Australia, or let her grow up there in Thailand?

At present, wife has a good government job and can take care of the daughter. If she quits and comes here, then she may not be able to find a job due to lack of written and extensive conversational English skills.

Apart from this, I am also unsure if Australia is better for my daughter's upbringing? She can go to good school there in Buriram, but schools in Melbourne are either way too expensive, or not that good. It's hard to get admission some good public schools.

Any suggestions???
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on June 25, 2011, 07:21:07 AM
In an ideal world I would say sell up everything in Oz and come to Thailand. However at age 40,  you may well not have enough capital to fullfill that dream, and continued working is the only option. I would suggest you investigate your pension rights, as there seem to be some suggestions that state pensions are only payable when you are actually in Oz.

In the event that you need to remain and work in Oz. I would suggest you take your wife and new daughter to Oz, and keep an open mind on the future. As you say 20 years is a long time, and even if you did then decide to come and live in Thailand...a) would your pension -if any - be enough to support you and b) would your then 20 year old daughter want to come too?
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on June 25, 2011, 07:24:15 AM
Your last post Aprasher beat mine by a few minutes

It's not much of a life for either of you, or your daughter for one to be in Melbourne and the other in Prakhonchai for most of the year.

I am sure your wife could find some sort of work - but is this necessary ---can you afford to support her and your daughter without her income?

Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 25, 2011, 07:53:06 AM
Nick. That is a good point. I can support the, but I guess just questioning it due to loss of confidence.

I have known BMs of this board to be practical with good advice and also have been great sounding board. I must say that I am not disappointed this time too.

Thanks very much for being here.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Vombatus on June 25, 2011, 09:09:01 AM
There are far too many practical considerations to take into account over the next 20 years so it may be best to just deal with the current emotional aspects.

I do like Starman's advice and he must have been very brave to make that move at that age. It was not just a  move brought about by the negativity towards the UK - it was a belief that he would have a 'better' life (even with no security) in Thailand.

I have been 'living' between UK and Thailand for over 5 years and spent an increasing amount of time in Thailand. Next year it will be 10 months and in 2013 11 months.

Seven years ago when I had a good job in a bank I wanted to have GBP 500k capital at retirement (maybe at 55/56). I knew at that time I would have had a pension of circa GBP 20k p.m.  My plan was basically to retire to Spain.

Many things changed.

To cut a very long story short, I discovered Thailand (and later my GF) and decided this was the place for me. I have regarded Thailand as 'home' for the last 2 years.

My financial planning went right out of the window !!

To a large degree I followed my heart whilst trying to ensure that I had some asset backing. I have had to cut my cloth to suit my circumstances and there has been some satisfaction in achieving that.

Apart from annual holiday visits, I have no desire to return the UK. It is a depressing place - and bloody cold !

Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: urleft on June 25, 2011, 09:24:29 AM
I should have stated my main Thailand philosophy:  "Do not put more into it than you can afford to lose." 

So you have to balance your income (and make sure you have it) with what your TG can take from you.   

If you do not balance your income with what you can afford to lose, you are depending on luck.  And I wish you best.  But I have been burned (big time), and am cautious.   There is a difference in outlook when you are 41 as opposed to 56. 

Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Starman on June 25, 2011, 11:42:12 AM
So am I lucky? That thousand pounds that I brought with me is still in the bank, or at least an equivalent is.

I look back sometimes and wonder what would have happened if...if and so on.

I am still happy with my decision.

To the OP. Would working in Thailand not be a viable option?

Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on June 25, 2011, 11:47:53 AM
I came to Thailand at age 42. Never regretted it

However you must know where future finances are coming from. Endowment policies, pensions etc. Inflation creeps up on you, even here, and I know of many farangs who have had to return to their original home countries to work and make ends meet.

Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 25, 2011, 11:55:45 AM
urleft - I understand your point. I got the pre-nup registered at the time of wedding. My wife was happy to sign it, so this sowed that it was a genuine case. We have to take the plunge sometime in life and this risk would be with any girl. Keeping the faith is what would get us through.

Starman - Yes. You are very lucky. I would have loved to work in Thailand (in fact I met my when I was doing some work in BKK), however it may hard for me to get work there.

Nick - You are correct. I will not be able to work in Thailand unless it is some sort of voluntary work. I do not want to be in a position whereby I liquidate all my assets in Aus and if that money may get blown say in next 10-12 year, I may need to come back at the age of mid-50s to find work.

So, I guess I will tough it up and live it here with family. Rest we will see in future.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Starman on June 25, 2011, 12:43:29 PM
Why would you only be able work as a volunteer?
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 25, 2011, 12:51:14 PM
If you may notice from my ID, I am Indian and who are looked upon in Thailand. It does not matter if I come from Australia, If I look like an Indian, then I will not be able to find work.....
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Starman on June 25, 2011, 12:56:08 PM
I had noticed your ID. Things are changing and many nationalities are able to work particularly here in Issan.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 25, 2011, 01:10:08 PM
Thanks Starman...You could be right...May be I have never thought about it...Down the path this avenue would be worth looking into.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Starman on June 25, 2011, 01:50:40 PM
Contact me by PM if you need any help.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: lukey1979 on June 25, 2011, 02:44:35 PM
Take your wife and kid back to Aussie mate, Keep working and send your kid to a decent school. Seems to me that there's too much risk for you to jack in your current career and move to Thailand. I wouldn't fancy living in Thailand from the income off property.
By the time your child has finished Schooling you will be ready for retirement. You and your wife can settle wherever you please, she'll be an Aussie citizen by then right? Your kid needs opportunity, she'll get the best she can in Aussie, theres a strong possiblity she wont in Thailand. It's all about your kid mate, and not about the best place to kick back and relax.

Best of luck!
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 25, 2011, 03:04:01 PM
Lukey...Mate...you have hit the nail on it's head. You are right. Both wife and kid will have dual citizenship and after that daughter can settle wherever  she may like.


Thanks all for you suggestion and support. I will be in Surin for 3 months during Sep when baby is due and would love to attend one of the meetings. I will bring the slab.

Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: den Buut on June 25, 2011, 07:06:56 PM
What luckey said can be true but what if in 20 years when you retire your child(ren) have their social life in Australia, or maybe even children themsels? Maybe it looks nice to move to Thailand then, but most (grand)parents don't leave their (grand)children. I'm 38 and we have 2 children of 6 and 8 and we made the decision to move here 1,5 year ago, we live here for 6 months now. It was now or never, the older the children the harder it becomes was my opinion. If you can secure a good income the children have the same or even better opportunities with schooling as they have in any other country (maybe study abroad). I wish you good luck and hope to hear what your decision will be. sawadi
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on June 26, 2011, 08:19:20 AM
If work/finances are all OK, I would recommend living in Thailand. Schooling outside of the state run system is OK. There is a great private school in Prakhonchai where my kids go. Fees next to nothing. My now adult daughter went to International school, cost me a small fortune, and did not benefit her at all.

Living here would also save all the return trips your wife would likely want to make to see family.

Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Vombatus on June 26, 2011, 08:26:40 AM
I also can't help thinking that the dynamics of the relationship would become wholly different if you take a Thai out of her natural habitat and settle her in your home country.

For me, a huge attraction is living in Thailand. i would never take a Thai to the UK (to live) - I have seen too many relationships get into a complete muddle.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on June 26, 2011, 09:05:58 AM
Nick - Work should be fine, but it is in Aus and that is the issue. You are right about the school in Prakhonchai. One of our friend's children go there and I have heard good things about it. Even if family can live happily there, I will have to work here and visit them for 4-6 weeks each year. Kind of bummer in a relationship.

CC - My wife is not too close to her family and if she comes here, we may only visit once each year. Although she told me that even that single trip would cost around 4-5 K and she would prefer to go somewhere else instead of coming home....LOL
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Vombatus on June 26, 2011, 09:26:11 AM
Nick - Work should be fine, but it is in Aus and that is the issue. You are right about the school in Prakhonchai. One of our friend's children go there and I have heard good things about it. Even if family can live happily there, I will have to work here and visit them for 4-6 weeks each year. Kind of bummer in a relationship.

CC - My wife is not too close to her family and if she comes here, we may only visit once each year. Although she told me that even that single trip would cost around 4-5 K and she would prefer to go somewhere else instead of coming home....LOL


aparasher - everyone's situation is different. I doubt you could sustain a relationship on seeing someone for 4-6 weeks each year. Your options are severely limited and living in Australia seems to be the only viable option. Good luck.
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: Geordie Boy on July 14, 2011, 12:45:51 AM
Check th IP Address of the OP?

Steve I thought you where smarter than that
Title: Re: Is it mid life crisis???
Post by: aparasher on July 14, 2011, 09:10:41 AM
What do you mean Geordie Boy? What is special about the IP address?