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Chapter 1 vol one. act1
A Naive Expat in Thailand
When in Thailand I tend to rise early, remove still warm bread from bread making machine cut a couple of thick slices and coat liberally with marmite.
I then don my silk dressing gown and panama hat (have reputation to maintain as tame, harmless, crazy local farang) and stroll around garden eating marmite bread.
This has many benefits (1) entertains locals (2) fends off mossies! apparently they do not like yeast and the marmite smell that exudes from our skin after eating. (Imperceptible to humans) (3) enables me to feed fish (pla nin) and size up potential victim for lunch. (4) check on any work that needs doing in garden.
I then retire back to the house making several random, irrational gestures to nothing in particular for the benefit of any locals still bored enough to be hanging around.
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Now for a cup of coffee or fresh squeezed orange juice whilst I plan my foray to the newsagent for the Bangkok Post, sit up and beg Thai style Mary Poppins bike or Motocy? flip 5 baht coin, motocy it is, helmet direction? flip coin again. I lose therefore helmet on back to front, this combined with the fact that I am wearing odd knee length socks with shorts should help maintain my credibility as crazy farang.
So off to papershop, however sidetracked by visit to bakers, arrive in a cloud of dust revving motocy and generally making a lot of noise, this has 2 benefits (1) lets baker run and hide in back of shop (2) enables him to send out attractive teenage daughter to serve me. Now ensues a daily ritual where I pretend not to know the price of banana bread loaf and complain about extortionate price being demanded from gullible farang, threaten to take business elsewhere (difficult because he is only baker in town). As no crowd has gathered I decide to move on after making my purchase, much to the disappointment of attractive teenage daughter who was hoping for more entertainment.
Right so its off to the papershop....arrive in cloud of dust, noise etc; do you detect a theme here? However owner of papershop is having none of it and keeps attractive daughters out of sight, he also takes the wind out of my sails by berating the lackadaisical attitude of the Bangkok bus operator who brings the papers to town. But he and I both know that I deliberately arrive 5 minutes before the bus so that I can have a whinge and chat to his attractive daughters. my ploy however has failed miserably and I have time to kill.
I know a haircut! So I make my way to the only barber left in town from which I am not banned. Not sure of his attractive daughter status. Anyway I tell him I want a Piers Brosnan look alike haircut, how was I to know he was deaf! 5 minutes later I look like a demented badger who has come off worse from an argument with a strimmer. Several attractive daughters now appear and collapse in a heap giggling and pointing. Why these local barbers cannot convert my 6 dozen strands of hair into an 007 lookalike I will never know. That’s Brosnan not Connery already have his hairstyle!
So now decide to pay a visit to the market but despite doing 3 circuits only get 2 marriage proposals and one commitment of undying love! not a very good tally and put it down to my bad hair day! I do however notice some turtles that are being sold for the pot and decide to rescue them at some vastly inflated gullible farang price. So its straight to he river to give them their freedom until the next time.
Feeling good on the way home I decide to give the pla nin a break and buy a couple dozen satay sticks and a half gallon polythene bag of lemon tea for lunch.
When I get back to the house word has got around about the farang’s haircut and a crowd of locals has gathered for the entertainment! When I remove he helmet there are hoots of laughter and several derisive comments and I swear a couple of them are peeing themselves. But so what I have my public to think of and standards to maintain.
Besides I have freed some turtles saved a pla nin from the pan.
It then occurs to me that I still don't have my Bangkok post and what is that the wife is cooking, looks suspiciously like a pla nin!! God I love Thailand and its still only lunchtime.
Let me know if you want further updates?
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TBWG.....yes please...i want to hear act 2 (and i am sure there are many more lurkers here that would also like to hear)
You may even set a trend here. Imagine if we all started talking about our very intresting day to day lifes here in buriramsmiley buriramsmiley buriramsmiley buriramsmiley buriramsmiley buriramsmiley buriramsmiley.
I hope it takes off hungry
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Hi Somnat
Well I am pleased someone replied ...and here is a bit more in the life of a naive farang. I am continuing (a) because Somnat deserves a reply (b) I like talking about myself party8 and (c) I've nothing better to do cos I've been grounded by the boss lady!!!
Well I am sitting on the terrace looking at the pond and feeling a bit bloated probably due to the fact that I have consumed half gallon of iced lemon tea and a couple of dozen satay sticks. I am also feeling a bit guilty over the demise of yet another pla nin.
I also regret planting one of those b****y lotus lilies in the pond and I now know why you see them growing everywhere. In 2 months it has taken over the pond and I am fed up saying its just what I wanted after boss lady told me that I would live to regret it.
I know, I will get local labour to remove all the lily leaves, the theory being that deprived of sunlight it will soon die, great idea! So wife’s sister it promptly dispatched to get Mr Curly & Mel. They arrive in no time at all as they know that my fridge is always well stocked with beer and I pay well, they don’t seem in the least put off by what needs to be done. It’s at this point I should tell readers that pond has sloping sides and is 3-4 meters deep.
Anyway both strip down to shorts and jump in Mel has no problems and is pulling out great armfuls of lily leaves, however Mr Curly is just going under for the third time when I realise that he is out of his depth and can’t swim! Quick as a flash I grab the great bamboo pole that I use for clearing debris from pond and lunge at the area where Mr Curly was last seen, this is just as he is about to resurface and I deliver him a great whack on the head, but at least he is aware of the pole and grabs it as though his life depended on it, which in hindsight it probably did!
We now pull him out and he has turned white as a sheet, has a large lump on his forehead and is coughing up lungful’s of brown water, at this point had he been an attractive Thai teenage girl I would have energetically administered the kiss of life, however, I draw the line at thirty something male labourers. Half a bottle of Lao Kao later he is fighting fit and ready to begin again, but what’s this coming down the road a Michelin man on a motorsai? No it’s the wife’s sister wearing a second hand lorry inner tube, quick thinking on her part and Mr Curly is soon floating around tugging out lily leaves left, right and centre, his recent near demise soon forgotten. .
The boss lady now proceeds to give me a 20 minute verbal lashing the gist of it being that the Boys In Brown take a dim view of farangs drowning the locals. She also suggests that this is a pretty lousy job and they should be recompensed well with 1,000 baht between them being the agreed amount.
I now decide to have a lay down while boss lady oversees the work and generally orders everyone about.
Couple of hours later I awake to see them just putting the final leaves on a huge pile which they promise to come and remove tomorrow. I must now admit that lily less pond looks a hell of a lot better and tuck a 1000 baht note in Mr Curly’s shirt pocket.
What now transpires is a touching moment where labour look shocked at large amount and try to give it back for a more modest sum, but no I insist they take it and feel humbled that they are so honest and damn fine human beings.
I now retire to terrace with a beer and admire their handiwork and congratulate myself on such a good idea. However this does not last long as boss lady comes back from market with evening meal and I tell her that labour is returning tomorrow and that I have paid them. Boss lady now goes ballistic; she paid them prior to going to market! What now ensues is a 20 minute verbal lashing the gist of which is…. why am I so stupid and always leave my brains in England!
The outcome of which is that Mr Curly and Mel plus 2,000 baht equal 3 days drunken stupor and consequent non appearance.
This is probably for the best as it keeps me occupied and out of harms way for the next few days moving rotting lily leaves. Which is no bad thing bearing in mind the unfortunate sequence of events which was about to unfold at the local karaoke bar that very evening……but that’s another story!
TBWG sawadi
Perhaps other members would like to tell about their Buriram days?
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Hi
See action shot ... Mr Curly was doing his impression of a submarine when pic was taken :o!
TBWG sawadi
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Maybe the ADMIN would like to start a new section called "A day in the life..."
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He just did.. happy2
Lets set some ideas for the blogs. Do you think the board should be open for discussion inside each blog or each person wants to open blog will need to get EXCLUSIVE managment permission for his blog only without the option to get replies??
respect party10
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He just did.. happy2
Lets set some ideas for the blogs. Do you think the board should be open for discussion inside each blog or each person wants to open blog will need to get EXCLUSIVE managment permission for his blog only without the option to get replies??
respect party10
Hi
Hope you don't live to regret this as I am about to embark on boring everyone rigid with the minutiae of life in Thailand tired1..would welcome response from other member preferably congratulating me on what a good chap I am confused4
TBWG sawadi
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hehe.. you made me laugh.. happy1 I give you my blessing as you're the first blogger in "Buriram Expats" and in Buriram at all I think blinkbar
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Thank you for this opportunity. I think it should stay open for discussion and comments just like any other topic.
I have been blogging about life in and around Buriram for quite a while on that other website...
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Agree Lourens...and then people, if intrested, can relate their experiences and comments to that particular post. Or simply just read.
Anyone can also start their own "Blog" type post in the Community Blogs (as you have done)
Well done to ADMIN for getting that up and running so quick happy3
Go buriramsmiley
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Thank you for this opportunity. I think it should stay open for discussion and comments just like any other topic.
I have been blogging about life in and around Buriram for quite a while on that other website...
Hi avid fans
Well it looks as though Lourens is going to supply the intellectual material so it's down to me to supply the mundane dross! confused1
But it looks as tho he has let the cat out of the bag about this being old material off the other site... never mind you aren't supposed to know that!
Anyway here goes....
Chapter 1 vol one. act11
Well I am currently trying to summon up the courage to put into print the details of the unfortunate events that unfolded that evening at the Karaoke bar.
However, before doing so I have to mentally prepare for the possibility of a re-occurrence of the flashbacks and nightmares that followed that fateful evening.
After all, the last thing I want to do is bring on a bout of my old trouble, the coprolalia phase of my latent Tourette's syndrome is particularly embarrassing. (Google it) Wikipedia
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Hi all
Trust you are all waiting with bated breath! confused1
Chapter 1 vol one. act111
Feeling suitably chastised for my stupidity over the water lily fiasco I decided I would have a beer or two at the local bar, so off I set on my sit up and beg Thai bike, The boss lady will not allow me out after dark on the motorsai following numerous incidents, near misses and the occasional dog bite.
However, all that pedaling makes me work up quite a thirst and I am convinced that I drink far more when on the bike than on the motorsai. I suppose the boss lady thinks that I can’t get up to any mischief on the bike and that any accidents are likely to be at lower speeds! Anyway I arrived at the local Karaoke bar with quite a thirst.
Upon entry something did not seem quite right, there was a farang I had seen a few times before sitting in the corner with a lot of Thai girls all around him and they were all smirking at me. The farang had a particularly evil grin on his face and was bathed in the green light reflected off a couple of dozen empty beer bottles lined up in front of him. biggrinbar
At this stage I should perhaps mention that in my previous visits to the bar I had declined to sing. I don’t know what possessed me but in a beer induced act of bravado I had said words to the effect that I had had professional training and would not dream of lowering my standards. Nothing less than opera in Italian would do for me and to add a bit authority I blurted out that Nessun Dorma by Puccini was my particular specialty.
Now the fact is it’s the only classical "tune" I know the name of and that’s only because it was used to accompany all the Euro 2000 footie matches and I would join in a duet with Pavarotti for the Encharro chorus at the end!
It now transpires that the farang in the corner had that very afternoon returned from that’s it you’ve guessed it Italy with a copy of, you’ve guessed Nessun Dorma and by the techno magic of the karaoke box they can edit out the vocals.
Bearing in mind that I am tone deaf and my entire Italian vocabulary consists of minestrone, bella bella and spag boll you might now have a grasp of my dilemma. How the hell was I going to get out of this one without losing mega face!
I now somewhat unconvincingly said I was looking forward to showing off my vocal skills later that evening and needed a beer or two to lubricate the vocal cords. All the time the farang was looking more and more smug in his corner. Presumably knowing I was lying through my teeth, as he supped more beer.
My mind now went completely blank as I tried in vain to think of a way out of my self induced predicament.
Short of divine intervention I was about to be exposed as a monumental fraud. Well as it happens divine intervention came from an unexpected source!
To be continued............................
TBWG sawadi
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Soon I hope TBWG..... better story than the thriller i am reading by Jack Higgins ;)
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Soon I hope TBWG..... better story than the thriller i am reading by Jack Higgins ;)
Hi Somnat
Like a fairy godmother ... your wish is my command love5
Well as it happens divine intervention came from an unexpected source! The farang angrybar in the corner now took on a pained expression, it then occurred to me that his ever growing hoard of empty beer bottles were brown Singha bottles and he was in fact physically turning green nothing to do with refracted light. The girls around him sensed that something was amiss and started to back away. Meanwhile in an effort to keep a low profile I had moved to the back of the bar away from everyone, desperately hoping the ground would open up and swallow me whole.
What happened next occurred so quickly that it is difficult to know the exact sequence of events, but it went something like this.
The green farang all of a sudden erupted with an enormous projectile vomit jumping6 which managed to cover everyone and everything within a 2 meter radius, lots of screaming from the assembled girls and everyone pushing and shoving to get out of range! Whether it was the putrid liquid that got to the karaoke machine or whether it was knocked over in the melee I am not sure, but the end result was fused electrics and a complete blackout with lots more screaming and shouting.
Anyway sensing my miraculous deliverance was close at hand all my senses became heightened as I dropped onto all fours, shot under the table like a rat up a drainpipe and out the back door into the alleyway where I had parked my trusty bike. Quick as a flash I was on the bike and away as fast as my legs could peddle and silently thanking Buddha that I had not had the motorsai with all the problems keys could have involved.
The noise of the commotion was swiftly fading into the distance when it occurred to me that it was only moonlight illuminating the way and that the entire area was in darkness, we had managed to blackout every property in the local area!
I now had to try and compose myself for my return home and was relived to see our lights still on and was luckily able to sneak in without attracting the boss lady’s attention. I then set about filling the bread maker ready for breakfast next morning when she appeared inquiring if I had a good time and wasn’t I home rather early.
To which I replied along the lines that it was rather quiet down there and I thought I’d have a shower and an early night. This turned out to be a real dumb move as next day the full horror of the event confused4 was repeated to her in ever exaggerated versions by just about everyone in the district.
Consequently I am not allowed out after dark at the moment so I have plenty of time to relay the gory details.
I eventually found out that I owe my escape to one rather dodgy airline meal involving cous cous and matured sea cucumber plus a couple of dozen bottles of Singha. The farang has also kept a low profile since the fiasco and I am now banned from Somchai’s karaoke bar.
God I love Thailand
TBWG sawadi
To Be continued
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Hi ...here we go again
Chapter 2 vol one. act1
Well my 90 days is up so it's visa renewal time. I've only seen a few thousand temples, so it's about time I had another fix, so its off to Cambodia for a couple of days to see Angkor Wat!
A quick trawl of the net soon finds suitable accommodation..."The Dead Fish Tower Hotel" It advertises that they don't serve Dog, Cat, Rat or worm!! (by worm I think they mean snake, you would need an awful lot of worms to make a casserole) I also assume that by serve they mean cook rather than excluding them as clientele but then I did not see any in the bar during my stay.
Whatever, it sounds my kind of establishment. A word of warning though for any possible future guests should you like drinking that cold, draught Angkor beer to the point of falling over, give the in house crocodile pit a wide berth as it could spoil your evening should you finish up in it.
I won't bore you with my tour of Angkor Wat, sufficient to say that after one day I am suffering from temple overload and decide that next day a cruise around Siem Reap is in order to see if I can annoy any of those Japanese and Korean tour parties that are swarming around the place. Unfortunately they won't rise to the bait and close ranks to any outsiders...spoilsports!
So bugger the expense i'll blow 2 dollars and hire a mountain bike for the day and explore the area. Well if you thought Thai drivers were bad they are mere novices compared to the Cambodians, allied to the fact that in theory they drive on the wrong side of the road i.e. the right. Although in practice this is pretty academic as they just go where ever they ###### well please.
Anyway an hour or two's cycling around with the odd glass of beer is a pleasant enough way to spend one's time. But back to my arrival at the airport, I am met by the hotels executive tuk tuk and whilst in the course of driving back see the odd motorcycle being used as a means of getting pigs to market, it occurs to me that this would make an amusing photo opportunity.
So I decide to go and stand on the street corner for half an hour in the hope that a motorcycling pig will put in an appearance. Well standing on a street corner for any length of time in Siem Reap (or anywhere for that matter) is asking for trouble, dozens of kids trying to flog you all sorts of things you don't need plus dubious individuals asking me if I like flower, how did they know I like gardening, h'mm maybe I'm missing the point? cool1 Well no pigs put in an appearance.
So I am now cruising around the town on the bike when I see a pigmobile approaching in the opposite direction, throwing caution to the wind I now resort to some Cambodian driving tactics and set off in hot pursuit, if I say so myself I would have done credit to some New York car chase as I cut through the traffic at ever increasing speed and narrowed the gap. Using my multi tasking skills I managed too get said camera out, fire it up and get in a few quick shots all whilst peddling as fast as my legs would go, mission accomplished and pretty good results considering the circumstances, now a few beers as a reward!!
Hope the boss lady does not read this as she has been threatening to put the stabilizers back on my sit up and beg bike to stop me showing off in front of the locals and it might just be he excuse she has been waiting for!
Hope you enjoyed .................more riveting stuff to follow! party3
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OH YES!!! - I'm waiting with bated-breath!!!
(Did anyone else see the Elephant on Main Street
with Christmas Tree lights and an Easter Bunny
costume on....
or was it another night of too many Heinekens???)
party11
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Hi folks .....the next riveting instalment happy2
Chapter 2 vol one. act11
It's about time you painted the outside Thai kitchen says the boss lady, who has now started talking to me again, the natural concrete look is beginning to look tatty not too mention the cheap Charlie image!
A nice cream or magnolia should do the job she says.
Now I am not that keen on painting so I am desperately trying to think of a way out of this predicament, but must admit it could do with a lick of paint.Time to put on my thinking cap.
In a flash of genius I know, lets convert it into a Khmer Temple after my recent visit to Angkor Wat I have a wealth of knowledge about decrepit buildings, however, when it comes to being artistic I am sorely challenged
This calls for a visit to Mr Mitt our local restaurateur who also happens to be a dab hand with the emulsion brush! He can see this as a way to get out of the kitchen for a day or two and jumps at the opportunity although I can see he is somewhat sceptical of my brilliant idea.
Well 2 days later and it is looking just like the real thing (well a Hollywood film set version anyway) So much so that I am thinking of opening it to tourists, farangs 20 baht, Thais 100 baht, I'll get my own back for this double pricing lark, The fact that it is really a kitchen will be quiet handy for flogging somtam to the punters!
So coach parties by appointment only please.....what do you think?
To be continued
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What you have all been waiting for.... tired1
Chapter 2 vol one. act111
The Honda Phantom is due for its first service. Now in the UK when I put the car in for a service I always give it a thorough going over so that it is gleaming like new. The theory being that if they think it is well looked after then they will take more care.
Whether or not it works I don't know but it makes me happy.
So this calls for a visit to the cleaners and an investment of 50 baht to get the Honda sparkling like new (if only it were so cheap in the UK!)
Now the boss lady seeing what time it is 11.30ish decides to invite herself along to supervise. I should have realised that she was not in the least interested in seeing a bike cleaned but more interested in getting out of cooking lunch.
Anyway, after ordering everyone about at the cleaners and putting the fear of Buddha into all the employees lest any bit remain unpolished, she announces that a restaurant is conveniently situated next door and we can have a bite to eat whilst the minions are buffing the chrome!
So far so good.. I tuck into a Pad Thai and a bottle of Archa blinkbar whilst the boss lady visits every table to talk to some relative or other ( she seems to be related to everybody in Satuk!) Hunger eventually gets the better of her and she settles down to eat what looks like a pink jellyfish negotiating an ice pack!
However, things are looking up it's lunchtime at the local girls school and a gaggle of attractive teenage girls have arrived for lunch. I decide to just sit there and look cool. cool1
Next thing I know i'm flat on my back in a pool of blood looking at the ceiling! Those bloody plastic chairs! the rear legs had decided to part company with the rest of the chair and deposit me on the floor, all the attractive teenage schoolgirls are now looking pityingly at the stupid farang who has been ceremoniously deposited on his arse in the middle of the restaurant. ashamed1 Oh dear! not the impression I had hoped to make!
Pool of blood is a bit of an exaggeration but I have been left with a nasty gash on the elbow and nobody seems in the least concerned. Lucky us men just take these setbacks in our stride. Being serious for a minute I was very lucky as I came extremely close to going bum first through the glass sliding door. Now that would have been a problem!
But as a True Brit I just gritted my teeth and said it didn't hurt, paid the bill (no charge for the chair) and collected a sparkling honda, then went home and wallowed in self pity.
Buddha ...I love Thailand party3
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Well I hope someone is reading my literary masterpieces .....as there seems to be a distinct lack of posts encouraging me. tired2
But what the hell I'm thick skinned I'll continue anyway! so here goes. party9
Vol 9 Act 43 (take one)
Well after a few weeks of keeping my nose clean I am now in the boss ladies good books, so much so that I have now been allowed to go back out on the Honda Phantom, that should increase my range and opportunity for mischief!
But back to more mundane things, I am expecting a visit from an ex work colleague back in the UK. So I suppose some tidying up is in order, to start with I think I will sweep the drive, so where is my yard broom brought at great inconvenience and expense from the UK ( Thai brooms as far as I am concerned are about as much use as glass hammer).
What's this some insect has had it for breakfast!! see pic
Well perhaps Thai brooms have some merit after all! But I'll fix those buggers a good immersing overnight in the water pot should do the trick. Next day I am able to sweep the drive but broom is shedding bristles left right and centre, oh well, thats life.
What's next, ahh yes top up the secret fridge for said guests arrival. As all old Thai hands know it is essential to have a private stock of goodies , beer etc. as it is mandatory that every Thai visiting a fridge has to consume the contents on the spot. In my experience that is why all Thai households have a b****y great fridge that contains only bottled water and out of date medicines, pills, potions and associated medical c**p. Thais being the biggest hypocondriacs on the face of the planet.
I say secret fridge everyone knows it exists, but enters it only on pain of Buddha's wrath as I have managed to convince everyone that me and him have a secret pact regarding the wellbeing of the content's. If anyone even thinks about touching our supply of Toblerones they will suffer a particularly nasty attack of boils. So far its seems to have done the trick!!
Well we are all ready for arrival of my guest, who is visiting Thailand for the first time. I'm not worried about him as he is a seasoned traveller having spent many years in Uganda flogging cast off MOT failure tyre's to the locals. It appears that after the downfall of Big Idi (Amin) tyre's where hard to come by so he packed off container loads of UK rejects which where quickly snapped up by the grateful locals who where fed up using inflated goats bladders!
Not too sure about the goats bladders, but the locals managed to get another 30,000 miles out of our cast offs before the canvas vanished into the ether!!
So I'm not to concerned about him, but then I had not considered Suvarnaphum airport. He arrives safely courtesy of Etihad Airlines breezes through immigration and baggage reclaim and is making his way down the travellator to the lower level, it is now that the fickle hand of fate decides to intervene. He has trouble with the new fangled baggage trolley and just catches the person in front a glancing blow. No problem, however the German tourist following with a well loaded cart just can't stop the thing and catches my mate full square on the back of the ankles. Result exits airport in wheelchair straight to hospital for X-rays and emeges with one leg in plaster and on crutches!!
Now bearing in mind the boss lady won't allow me a car, getting about on a motorsai with crutches is really a no no, so off he go's by taxi to Pattaya and the last I heard is that he is getting a lot of sympathy from some friendly young ladies.
Not sure what the moral is there other than watch those baggage carts at the airport.
God .... I love Thailand
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Hi TBWG
Great stories. Tis funny cos I too visited the Dead Fish Bar last year and saw the (seperate) pits with Crocodiles and Ducks. Wonder if they ever mix 'em up a bit? confused4 Sorry to hear your bad experience with a plastic chair. Just to make you sick, I knew a fireman back in the Uk who did same in a works canteen and got a GBP200,000 insurance payout for it, Honest! party6
Live long and prosper (as Spock used to say)
Dave
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Hi TBWG
Great stories. Tis funny cos I too visited the Dead Fish Bar last year and saw the (seperate) pits with Crocodiles and Ducks. Wonder if they ever mix 'em up a bit? confused4 Sorry to hear your bad experience with a plastic chair. Just to make you sick, I knew a fireman back in the Uk who did same in a works canteen and got a GBP200,000 insurance payout for it, Honest! party6
Live long and prosper (as Spock used to say)
Dave
Hi DtD
£200,000! Well that's depressed me :( Mind you I come cheap 3 bottles of beer and I would be happy! smilebar
Well for all my adoring fans :blink: You can read about some of my sporting exploits in the Sports forum Olympics post. As I feel they are equal to the goings on in China.
At the moment I am working myself up into a bit of a frenzy in anticipation of the Ladies beach volleyball and girls gymnastics jumping7 ;) You can keep all the track an field broads who have bigger muscles than me and better moustaches!
More nail biting stuff to follow.
TBWG sawadi
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Well fan's you had better make the most of this as I am running out of material and won't be getting into any new scrapes until I get back in October.. However, you can read about my superhuman sporting triumphs in the Sports forum Olympic's post.
Chapter 92 vol six. act IVXX
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Merit making they said, to remember the boss ladies nephew Nine who was killed in tragic circumstances last Sonkgran. Well to me that equates to a staid church service in the UK with relatives that you only see at births, deaths and marriages!
So I expected a trip to the temple where I would be in agony sitting for a few hours cross legged, how wrong can you be.
What the F***s that ........6 o'clock in the morning and I think the world's coming to an end, some loonies blasting away with a shot gun, what's happening they holding up a security van that's strayed hundreds of miles off course? No it's just the family waking up the God's and letting Nine know he's not been forgotten and to prepare for some festivities. jumping8 party11
From that moment on it is all activity with the entire family beavering away (with one exception me!) I can't be trusted to do anything other than open a beer bottle! So I sit back in amazement as hundreds of chairs a few tent's and many tables arrive, ( a miracle considering the trouble I have getting the ice delivered to the nearest week). Grannies, aunts, sisters etc. all appear out of the woodwork and operate like a well oiled machine, ironing coconut's, hoovering dogs, peeling rice and all other women's type work. Whilst the men manage to count beer bottle's and fuse lights and generally foul things up.
Now the interesting thing, a lorry arrives with a stage, floodlights and a zillion miles of electrical wire (why the hell has nobody thought it worth while to mention to me what they have obviously been planning for months)? Perhaps it's because of the dancing girls which now arrive en masse. party3
That's got my attention perhaps they could use a hand carrying their skimpy outfits or need help dressing? confused3The boss lady now appears and sends me off on some dubious errand, go and buy some paper napkins! Is that all I'm fit for?
Anyway to cut a long story short Nine would have really enjoyed the party, couple of hundred revelers several tons of grub, copious amounts of whiskey and beer and of course paper napkins courtesy of moi!
Not to mention the stage show and dancing girl's, firework display etc all going on till the early hours. I think the party went well if my headache is anything to go by, and then they went and fired that bloody gun again at 6 o'clock next morning!
Buddha I love Thailand sawadi
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Hi Folks
More of Nine's extravaganza!! confused4 party2 party3 party4
TBWG sawadi
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Hi fans .. it's me again confused3
Whilst on one of my few trips out ...went AWOL without the boss ladies permission!
I happened to notice stuffed effigies tied to the gates outside several houses. These are like what we would call scarecrows or Guys in the UK and seem to be stuffed with straw and dressed in an assortment of clothing.
When the boss lady was finally talking to me again she said it was a Cambodian custom to keep evil spirits away. Well its the first time in 8 years that I have seen this happen, and after discussing it with some buddies they also report sightings of this phenomenon...spooky huh! :ph34r:
Any ideas?
I am thinking of joining in the custom and have located a suitable basque and suspender belt for the project, just need a pair of fishnet tights now, any offers? Maybe not such a good idea with so many dubious characters about who knows what they might do with it! >:D
My buddies also reckon it is something to do with a top honcho monk having a dream in which someone born on a tuesday or wednesday is going to die and the effigies are meant to keep away the evil spirts. Pretty vague huh!
Well, I told this to the boss lady and she said these spirits are notoriously crap at working out the days, so no matter what day you were born on it is better to be safe than sorry!
Don't say you have not been warned. confused4
Well this time the boss lady has given me time off for good behavior, so I have scarpered again quickly on my trusty bike and gone in search of a few locals to pester.
Anyway, whilst out on my travels I have seen many more scarecrows but the "piece de resistance" was one mounted on a decrepit old motorsai. Unfortunately I did not have my trusty box brownie with me to record this momentous event and now for the life of me can't remember where I saw it.
Buddha, I live an exciting life!
Anyone else seen these effigies or more importantly had a visit from the evil spirits and lived to tell the tale?
TBWG sawadi
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nice story.. seems like you enjoy life here mak mak.. me personally I never understand the spirit beliefs..
sorry.. ::)
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Hi folks
Well thats about it, I have run out of material until I get back to Thailand in about 6 weeks time.
But before I sign off I thought I'd introduce you to Toby, he is rather partial to the odd cockroach but is obviously missing some female company judging by the racket he makes all night by the bedroom window where he announces his availability to all the local females! love1
So I though I would have a cheap laugh on him when I saw a realistic looking toy rubber Tokay in the market, blow the expense (20 baht) if it shuts him up at night.
I positioned it on the fence right under his penthouse suite (under roof tiles) and wait to see if he would fall for it.
Five minutes later the sister in law is screaming like a banshee and laying into the defenseless toy with a big broom.. so it must have been realistic looking, but if Toby saw that from his high rise vantage point he won't be taken in by the Tokay version of a blow up sex doll... ah well back to plan B! That's the ear plugs.
I just hope he has scored by now as I would like a decent nights sleep when I return tired1 tired2
TBWG sawadi
PS: Can I assume that all my legions of fans are either paraplegics or multi amputees as surely this can be the only excuse for not using the keyboard and posting some of your own experiences in Thailand? or at least congratulating me on what a fabulous but equally modest chap I am! party6
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Since not too many people are responding to your or my posts maybe we can respond to each other:
I love your stories and I think you are the second best story writer here ;). A lot of the things you write about I can relate to. Such as the friend coming for a visit. I had a few visits from friends and they all agreed on one thing: Buriram is a great place to come and relax.
As for the send-off party (not funeral) for a family member, those were some of the best functions I had the priviledge to attend.
The effigies you mentioned, they are all over our village and at first I thought this would just be another fad that will pass in a couple of weeks. But this has now been going on for many months. My wife tied a white teddy bear to our front door which has since turned distinctly brown with dust. (Turning Thai is what I said.) Mother-in-law has one of the telle-tubbies hanging by the neck and sister-in-law a rag doll.
Tokays, Ching-Choks and frogs all over the house at night time with the odd snake or two and a few scorpions at dusk to keep the dog furiously defending our property. The dog is particularly adept at keep the elephants away. There isn't an elephant within yards of our house.
Please keep writing. I enjoy reading it anyway.
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Hi Lourens
Know what you mean, seems all the other members are very shy and computer illiterate, :wacko: like pulling teeth getting them to post. Let's hope they now set out to prove us wrong.
I too can empathise with your posts it seems we all suffer from the same problems out here, but that is why I love it. Seems to me some of the Thai logic is in fact commendable, your Mother-in-Law must be very astute, stringing up a tele tubby by the neck sounds an admirable thing to do and should be encouraged!!! ::)
F'raid I have really run out of things to post in my blog but will be back in Thailand within the month so might have some new material then.
Keep up the posts as the forum is gradually building and I think will be a useful source of info in due course.
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Lurkers!
Well with the distinct lack of posts on this forum I s'pose I had better put my thinking cap on and drag something up no matter how insignificant.
So I think I will bore you rigid with our family outing to Laos. Now this occurred shortly after I had met the Boss Lady and I think the family where wondering how to keep the tame farang interested and occupied!
It was decided they would hire a people carrier (which I was volunteered to pay for) and about 10 of us would go to Mukdahan and cross over on the ferry to Savannaket. This was 8 years ago so pre bridge days.
Off we set a day break and about 20 kilometers up the road stopped for breakfast. This involved massive amounts of grub hungry1 and took about an hour. Anyway we where on the move again in the direction of Mahasarakam.
About an hour later we stopped again for mid morning meal. This involved massive amounts of grub hungry1 and took about an hour. Again we set off and after about an hour we stopped ...what for you've guessed it more food. hungry1 happy3 hungry1 Lunch this time! which involved even larger quantities of food and drink and took best part of 2 hours.
By now I was feeling extremely bloated and needed a nap, tired1 so only Buddha knows how many more grub stops I slept through. Well as we got nearer to Mukdahan we came upon a Temple which had just been completed and was now open to the punters!
So we had to have a look, well I must say it was impressive, very, very, very, big in fact so big it had a lift up to the sixth floor so that devotees can get nearer to nirvana without to much effort! All you had to do was walk up the final spiral staircase to get to the absolute top. Once there all that remained was to come
down again minus the odd 1,000 baht! sawadi
Now as we had rushed through the temple to be parted with our baht, I had quickly admired the delicate intricate carvings on the pillars and thought they must have taken hundreds of hours of loving dedication to carve, but upon closer examination I noticed that they where in fact moulded plastic and pop riveted on!
Ah well can't get the artisans these days and Buddha won't mind!
I have now lost track of how many more nourishment stops we had before we got to Mukdahan but suffice is to say we had spent so much time gorging ourselves that it was now to late to get the ferry to Laos!
So it was a quick look around the market, purchased a few orchid plants which had been freed from their rightful natural home in the jungle! and set off back home via another half a dozen food stops.
I vaguely remember not needing to eat for several days after this gastronomic tour. party12
TBWG sawadi
PS Now why not break the habit of a lifetime and post something? party3
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Buriramians are very shy people ,thats for sure. well we learn something every day ! :'(
on a more serious note : Lots of members are just logging inside to read,sometime not log in their user name as well and appear as guests..
Buriramians !!! wake up !!! angry1
P A R T Y !! party7
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Good stories and observations mate.Enjoyed them very much.Going over myself again soon,will try and post a tale or two in January when back in UK.Keep it up and good luck to you and family.
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Good stories and observations mate.Enjoyed them very much.Going over myself again soon,will try and post a tale or two in January when back in UK.Keep it up and good luck to you and family.
Hi Pbee
Thanks for the comments much appreciated, if you post any tales don't expect to much response from members as they are extremely shy and obviously lack keyboards! :wacko:
TBWG sawadi
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Good stories and observations mate.Enjoyed them very much.Going over myself again soon,will try and post a tale or two in January when back in UK.Keep it up and good luck to you and family.
Hi Pbee
Thanks for the comments much appreciated, if you post any tales don't expect to much response from members as they are extremely shy and obviously lack keyboards! :wacko:
TBWG sawadi
I think they have keyboards but lack keyboard skills.
Dave (BTW we are trying to arrange another Buriram meets TWGM)
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Priorities
Whilst sitting in the market and consuming a few beers and adding to the hundreds of hours I have devoted to my thesis that the length of an attractive Thai teenage girls leg is in direct relation to the amount of material used in her skimpy shorts :biggrin:. Whilst arriving at this conclusion I also noted other trends in Thai youth.
It occurred to me that their priorities have changed dramatically to that of their parents. I have come to the conclusion that the average teenage girl would now rather go without shoes than her mobile and the average teenage male would also rather go without shoes than his motorbike.
Despite the fact that flip flops cost next to nothing I have now seen many examples of this behaviour. If only they lived in a climate like the UK maybe frostbite would make them think differently!
TBWG sawadi
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Wots it all about!
As I travel around the country or more particularly Isaan I see all the legacies of Thaksins attempt to provide cheap affordable housing for the poor.
Now personally I would rather insert red hot chilli peppers up my anus confused4 than live in one of these houses and I dread to think what they would be like after 6 months when the Buffalo, pigs, chickens, ......... insert as necessary have moved in downstairs. Not to mention when Somchai arrives home pi***d on the motorsai and cant tell one house from another.
But it does seem a shame that these almost completed houses are now standing empty and deserted. I have heard all the various stories as to why... corruption, poor quality, revenge on Thaksin. But does anyone have any inside info on the true reason?
TBWG sawadi
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Democracy......................or what?
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Hi Bums
I'm back with a gripe! confused3
To say I am bitterly disappointed is an understatement but I am afraid this is symptomatic of the current UK government and I should have known I would be let down
If they are not screwing Expats on their state pensions, or fiddling their expenses then they are making the usual promises and not delivering.
What am I drivelling on about, SWINE FLU thats what. They promised me that I would get it, ordered a squillion doses of Tamiflu just to make sure, even insisted that I had a good chance of dying from it and what happens .. naff all!
There was me updating my will and looking forward to a week in bed ... and nuffin! character5
I didn't even have an excuse to phone up the swine flu help line that employs dozens of experts and answers 3 calls a week.
So what have I had to do instead, DECORATING!
Now I should not be flippant because some people have died from it, but then people die every year from ordinary flu, I can't help thinking we were all sold a good story to stop us wingeing about the financial crisis the same government got us into, now even deeper after costs incurred due to swine flu heaped on top.
Jeez I sound cynical, must get back to Thailand ASAP and chill! cool1
TBWG sawadi
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For somebody who "would rather stick red hot chilli peppers up my anus", it is no wonder that you are getting these gripes jumping7
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I didn't even have an excuse to phone up the swine flu help line that employs dozens of experts and answers 3 calls a week.
TBWG sawadi
Previously known as the Y2K helpline and shortly to be renamed the 'UK Civil War' helpline happy1 happy1 happy1
TMWG, I think you need an Archa iintravenous drip to calm your nerves :D confused4
DtD
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I didn't even have an excuse to phone up the swine flu help line that employs dozens of experts and answers 3 calls a week.
TBWG sawadi
Previously known as the Y2K helpline and shortly to be renamed the 'UK Civil War' helpline happy1 happy1 happy1
TMWG, I think you need an Archa iintravenous drip to calm your nerves :D confused4
DtD
Hi DDt
Think you may be right wot's a large bottle of Archa cost these days?
TBWG sawadi
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It doesn't matter - It's still a bargain laughbar
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Hi Bums
I'm back with a gripe! confused3
To say I am bitterly disappointed is an understatement but I am afraid this is symptomatic of the current UK government and I should have known I would be let down
If they are not screwing Expats on their state pensions, or fiddling their expenses then they are making the usual promises and not delivering.
What am I drivelling on about, SWINE FLU thats what. They promised me that I would get it, ordered a squillion doses of Tamiflu just to make sure, even insisted that I had a good chance of dying from it and what happens .. naff all!
There was me updating my will and looking forward to a week in bed ... and nuffin! character5
I didn't even have an excuse to phone up the swine flu help line that employs dozens of experts and answers 3 calls a week.
So what have I had to do instead, DECORATING!
Now I should not be flippant because some people have died from it, but then people die every year from ordinary flu, I can't help thinking we were all sold a good story to stop us wingeing about the financial crisis the same government got us into, now even deeper after costs incurred due to swine flu heaped on top.
Jeez I sound cynical, must get back to Thailand ASAP and chill! cool1
TBWG sawadi
Hi Bums
Well I have just come across a previous post of mine and I suppose I must now admit that I might of been a bit hasty, in hindsight maybe they were right!!! kamoybeer
See previous post......................................
Hi Bums
Call me old fashioned but I am a bit sceptical about the effectiveness of this approach! confused2
A group of rabbis and Jewish mystics have taken to the skies over Israel, praying and blowing ceremonial horns in a plane to ward off swine flu.
About 50 religious leaders circled over the country on Monday, chanting prayers and blowing horns, called shofars.
The flight's aim was "to stop the pandemic so people will stop dying from it", Rabbi Yitzhak Batzri was quoted as saying in Yedioth Ahronoth newspaper.
The flu is often called simply "H1N1" in Israel, as pigs are seen as unclean.
Eating pork is banned under Jewish dietary laws.
According to Israel's health ministry, there have been more than 2,000 cases of swine flu in the country, with five fatalities so far.
"We are certain that, thanks to the prayer, the danger is already behind us," added Mr Batzri was quoted as saying.
Television footage showed rabbis in black hats rocking backwards and forwards as they read prayers from Kabbalah, a form of Jewish mysticism which counts the singer Madonna among its devotees.
The shofar is the horn of a deer or sheep, and is used to mark major religious occasions in Judaism.
See for yourself~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8196786.stm
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums (rather appropriate)
Ring of fire........................
Well finally back in Thailand after a few months in the UK watching the economy go down the tubes, (but thats another story!)
Anyway, I want to get some sun on my back and some Phad Thai in my belly, so when the "boss lady" suggests a trip to try out a new restaurant for her Som Tam fix I am up for it.
So half way through and all of a sudden I am getting that uneasy feeling in the stomach and need a visit to the loo, the boss lady assures me that being a new place the toilet should at least be passable. Well no problems there a European type loo and a door that locks, that's progress!
Well after doing the business so to speak I reach for the loo paper, eh, none of it, only one of the bum squirter jobs. Having been caught out by these in the past I decide to remove my shorts and boxers to avoid walking around for half an hour with a wet arse after poor directional control.
Feeling smug, I now proceed to wash the offending area, no problems ....WTF!!!! all of a sudden I have super-heated, scalding water forced at about 45 PSI up my anus, sheesh, that smarts!
What I neglected to make allowance for was the fact that the water had been festering for many hours in the direct sunlight in god know's how many metres of that blue plastic tube just waiting for some sucker to expose his delicate parts for a steam cleaning. Cor, that was painfull! character5
I now gingerly made my way back to the table and finished my meal standing up, whilst explaining to the boss lady as to why was I squealing like a stuck pig and effing and blinding like a trooper whilst I was in the loo!
So a lesson learned the hard way .... in future send the missus in first!
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums (rather appropriate)
Ring of fire........................
So half way through and all of a sudden I am getting that uneasy feeling in the stomach and need a visit to the loo, the boss lady assures me that being a new place the toilet should at least be passable. Well no problems there a European type loo and a door that locks, that's progress!
TBWG sawadi
Wooo, going to loo can be an adventure. confused2 Having been raised in the west I never encounted Thai toilet until last year. I first saw the hose in 2007. Once it was explained to me how it was supposed to work I started to imagine having one of those hoses in the states. Think about using the hose in Mid December when it is -5 outside, that spray would cause the family jewels to curl up inside you confused4.
Yes, sometimes going to the throne is an experience in Thailand. jumping8
Wooo Wooo :blush:
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Hi TBWG,
I note in one of your interesting tales, you talk about a 90 day border hop. Have they now ceased that and only give you a 15 day border pass (by land) which means you will have tell 6 times more border hop stories. Or do you have some kind of 90 day visa that needs renewing every 90 days and if so what is the visa name and conditions.
regards
Tony
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Hi TBWG,
I note in one of your interesting tales, you talk about a 90 day border hop. Have they now ceased that and only give you a 15 day border pass (by land) which means you will have tell 6 times more border hop stories. Or do you have some kind of 90 day visa that needs renewing every 90 days and if so what is the visa name and conditions.
regards
Tony
Tony
If you enter the 'Land of Piles' by air and get the automatic 'Visa exemption' stamp for 30 days, once this term has expired and if you do a 'visa run' through a Land border (ie go out to Cambodia and back,for instance), you now only get a further stamp for 15 days. it used to be 30 BTW. No one living here permanantly or semi permanantly would use this method to stay here.
Most get a new Visa if they go 'home' each year or like me, get an annual visa extention, due to being married to a Thai. There are, of course other methods too.
Dave
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Hi TBWG,
I note in one of your interesting tales, you talk about a 90 day border hop. Have they now ceased that and only give you a 15 day border pass (by land) which means you will have tell 6 times more border hop stories. Or do you have some kind of 90 day visa that needs renewing every 90 days and if so what is the visa name and conditions.
regards
Tony
Hi KT
I only spend 7-8 months of the year OCT-MAY in Thailand so go back to the UK where I take advantage of getting a multi entry "O" visa from the Hull consulate. This allows me 90 day multi entries into Thailand.
I could go along to the immigration office every 90 days but usually use it as an excuse to visit some nearby country.
TBWG sawadi
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Thanks for the update on visa travel. I'm coming over in December on a 60 day tourist visa from Aus. Apparently, there is no charge for the tourist visa at present as they are trying to encourage tourists. And with the US dollar as it is, it shouldn't be too hard. Today you can get 30 baht to the Aussie dollar and god knows how many baht to the pound!
thanks anyway for your advice.
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Mastication and Toothpicks!
Why is it that after a meal with the family, should I wish to pick out remnants of Som Tam or Phad Gai from my teeth with a toothpick and fail to cover my mouth with my hand it is considered a major social blunder.
OK maybe it is, but I find it hard to swallow (no pun intended) when I have just had to endure watching them chomping away on gawd knows what, with their mouths half open and engaging in conversation whilst having a mouth full and spraying it everywhere and making a noise like a cement mixer!
When I try to point out this anomaly I am accused of not understanding Thai culture brick1
TBWG sawadi
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It's even worse when they pick their noses and old grandma sits nearby dribbling betel nut juices in to a plastic bag. confused2
I have no need for a toothpick at these times. I refuse to sit and eat with them! runningdog
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I agree 200% with TBWG happy2
I find it rather sanctimonious for un-educated village people to lecture me on manners (practise or custom I suppose rather than manners - it just feels like you are being "told off") when they have bad eating habits. :o.
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Also agree with TBWG....When I took my stepson to Canada he was shocked but his eating habit hard to be corrected very quickly.....
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Temptation?
Whilst driving around I am astounded by the amount of white graffiti on the road! i.e. police evidence marking the demise of yet another motorcyclist.
Do you think I would be pushing the bounds of good taste if I was to cut out a life-size template, sporting a stonking great erection and under cover of darkness spray the outline at strategic points?
Should you at some time in the future come across an outline featuring a large stiffy, confused4 then you know I have succumbed to temptation!
TBWG sawadi
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Are you inviting a dare here?
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Are you inviting a dare here?
Hi Lourens
Of course not, I would never dream of doing something so childish & purile...... But then again? confused1 biggreen
TBWG sawadi
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OK then - I dare you. >:D I'll be in Buriram shortly and I expect to see this artwork somewhere very conspicious.
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As some of you may know I am a teacher here in Buriram.
I still have numerous students who have not "made the grade" for the first term of this school year. They were supposed to send their late work and sit a re test in November. Some of them didn't turn up and those that did shouldn't have bothered.
As the students quite obviously cannot pass the test it is now down to me to give them some sort of project/assignment for them to prove to me that they are indeed good,diligent,intelligent and polite young humans and are in actual fact just "misunderstood".
TBWG..you have given me an idea.
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OK then - I dare you. >:D I'll be in Buriram shortly and I expect to see this artwork somewhere very conspicuous.
Hi Lourens
Your challenge sounds interesting and I started to put my plans into action .... however, the Boss Lady caught me in the act of making the first template (see pic) and has now imposed a dusk till dawn curfew on my movements.
Added to this she tells me that the BIB (Boys in Brown) are very touchy about effigies showing disproportionate private parts as it makes them feel inadequate, angry1 consequently they come down hard on any wrongdoers! Especially farangs, as it is common knowledge that they are all hung like donkey's! blink1
So I am afraid it will have to be put on the backburner for the time being!
TBWG sawadi
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I'd just like to add I used to live near to 'The Long Man of Wilmington" and it was very tempting not to add a few bits extra! jumping8
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Aaah well - as such the plans of many a hero are brought to naught by the mighty fur... :(
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oldmanwithstick
lol :D I have enjoyed reading these posts, and as I have said already to TBWG I will be in Satuk end of March 2010, so will look forward to seeing "unusual" outlines in the road, maybe we could get the boss lady's together and do a bit of night stroll ! party8
keep up the good writing, absolutely brilliant.
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Mass murder confused4
For the faint hearted this refers to mass toadicide so if you are of a nervous disposition read no further! :o
There was a strange offensive odour emanating from the corner of the garden, but then Thailand is full of strange pongs! so nothing unusual there.
However the electrics in the household were playing up so Mr Sparks the local electrician was called out as I was fed up with my hot (read warm) shower frequently turning into a cold shower half way through when the gubbins tripped and with the current cold spell that was no fun!
Our intrepid electrician soon discovered the cause, poor grounding with some of the juice leeching away to ground. This explains our recent high bills which I have been blaming on the Boss Lady for her extravagant use of her mobile charger.
Well the problem has now been solved by some rearranged wiring and 5 foot of brass rod being inserted into the sod. However a by product of this story is best part of 50 toads and frogs had been nuked by the current and I now have a mass graveyard at the base of said electric pole.
Not sure what the moral of this is other than be well grounded if you are not partial to being electrocuted! kamoybeer
TBWG sawadi
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Doggy Fashion runningdog
Recently whilst having a pleasant lunch hungry1 with a few friends, we had to witness some impromptu entertainment that was definitely not on the managements agenda, or if it was we were not charged for it!
It did however get me thinking about the phrase "doggy style".
Anyway to set the scene a large mangy mongrel was hanging around the restaurant presumably in the hope of getting some scraps. However he was promptly sent on his way, only to suddenly reappear with his little girlfriend in tow, when I say little I mean about a third his size.
He now proceeded to do what only dogs can do. i.e. mount his little bitch in public in broad daylight and without any fear of reprisals from the authorities, he did get a bowl full of water for his troubles from the restaurant staff but this did not dampen his ardour.
Now being a middle class UK lad opportunities for watching dogs shagging were few and far between in my neck of the woods so I assumed doggy style was in fact doggy style! But no these two were now locked ar*e to ar*e together, the little bitch barely touching the ground.
Now for humans to engage in such an act would necessitate the male being hung like a donkey with a universal joint in the middle of his todger (so from now on I think I will call it horsey fashion).
Well to get back to the dog coupling, apart from being chased by the staff two other dogs appear on the scene trying to get in on the action, this results in some serious skirmishing between all 3 male dogs, all the while the little bitch is attached to her partners nether regions and is either being swung around in ever decreasing arc's or bounced around like a ball under the flailing dogs.
I now assume that the mangy dog decides that possession is 99% of the law and takes off at speed dragging his little bitch along backwards behind him with feet occasionally touching the ground. runningdog
All of this to applause from the diners and relief from restaurant staff.
Don't you just love Thailand!
TBWG sawadi
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Don't you just love the internet? 55555 (http://www.messentools.com/images/emoticones/humor/www.MessenTools.com-Humor-risa-perro.gif)
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_dogs_get_stuck_to_each_other_after_copulation (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_dogs_get_stuck_to_each_other_after_copulation)
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Well the problem has now been solved by some rearranged wiring and 5 foot of brass rod being inserted into the sod. However a by product of this story is best part of 50 toads and frogs had been nuked by the current and I now have a mass graveyard at the base of said electric pole.
Not sure what the moral of this is other than be well grounded if you are not partial to being electrocuted! kamoybeer
TBWG sawadi
O0 So guess you have now rigged a no go area around said pole!! angry1
otherwise could be interesting during your recent rain you have had? I am not sure that would have solved problem of electricity? confused1
ms
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Hi Bums
Things have been a bit quiet in Satuk recently, no punch ups or dog fights so what can we do for a change. I know we will spring a surprise visit on Koffi! gmorning
Now let me explain, Koffi is a Dutchman who lived in Satuk for a few years and as his nickname implies he only drank coffee. Coffee became a bit of an obsession with him and he used to go to Laos to purchase his supplies!
Whilst there he met an attractive Lao girl by the name of Won, whose family by good fortune happened to own a coffee plantation. Well to cut a long story short Koffi and Won are now married live in Paksong the coffee growing region in Laos and have Koffi junior. So a visit to him to sample coffee plus that other great Laos export "Beer Lao" is in order.
So from Satuk to the Chong Mek border crossing is only about a 3 hour drive then 50kms to Pakse and another 50km to Paksong so easily arrive in daylight that's always assuming there are no issues.
Well it may only be 3 hours from Satuk to the border but that's if all the paperwork is in order! Well I know the Tabien Rot (car passport) has expired but no problem, I will get it renewed at the Land Transportation office at the border as I have done several times in the past at Nong Khai, Noooooooooooooo the office in question is in fact in Ubon Ratachani 100kms back from whence we came.
Oh dear, anyway helpful staff at immigration give us the tel no and vague directions so off we go, 2 hours later after criss crossing Ubon finding Big C 3 times, following hired Tuk Tuks who repeatedly lead us to the bus station we eventually stumble across it by accident. (for reference it is very near airport) 30 mins later we are on our way back to Chong Mek. Now follows the usual mammoth session filling in various forms to temporarily export car from Thailand and same same to import into Laos.
That done it's my turn next to part up with my US$35 for a Visa, my travel buddy Markus is looking smug as a Swiss citizen he gets his gratis! Still at least I'm not Canadian US$42 or a yank US$40. The authorities obviously settling some old scores here, but what the hell have the Swiss done to get it for nowt, major sucking up maybe?
Well its now very dark, not a lot of lights their side and they drive on the wrong side of the road (if your a Brit or a Thai anyway) So Markus swings into action coming from a country that may get free visas but have to put up with driving arse about face! Well if you thought Thais had no rear lights they are mere amateurs, lights being the exception rather than the rule over here.
So we arrive in Pakse after a hair raising drive avoiding unlit motorbikes and the odd cow. Now Pakse is on the backpacker trail so lots of reasonable guest houses that's if you turn left, we didn't, we went right and finished up in a grotty hotel after earlier choices were full, so for 300 baht a night you get what you pay for, but by now we were past caring!
After a noisy uncomfortable night we were up early to explore Pakse and now discover we had been on the wrong side of town, but we spy a nice coffee shop opposite the covered market and stop for brekkie, however great coffee but no food.............not a problem the owner suggests omelette's and french bread, great, and promptly disappears into the market to purchase same. Five minutes later we are tucking in, this costs about 10 trillion Kip which turns out to be about 5 bob in christian wonga! and is just what the doctor ordered.
A quick trip around the market to purchase a few baguette's and then off to Paksong and for once everyone is pointing us in the same direction, not difficult really as there only appears to be one road out of town in that direction.
So its a steady climb to Paksong which is 1200 odd meters high and has a great climate 28-30 during the day and 12-15 at night and dry not humid. Later Koffi informs us that he does his weekly trip to Pakse on his pushbike 50 kms in 2 hours downhill all the way and returns on the bus with groceries and bike!
When we finally get to Paksong and track down Koffi's coffee HQ his wife tells us he is in Ubon mailing coffee worldwide and replenishing hard to come by items in Laos, but no problem he is due home 5 o'clock that evening, maybe!
So a quick tour of all the guesthouses and hotels soon reveals that Packsong Thevada Hotel is by far the best so sod the expense after the previous evening we deserve a treat and book into this new hilltop hotel with 48 rooms of which 44 are unoccupied and that's after we have accounted for 2! But a very nice hotel it is and sweet and sour ribs in the restaurant go down well. Tables are laid for about 50 guests and while we are eating an advance party arrive, this is security all toting guns on the hips and checking us out through hoodlum type sunglasses, they must have come to the conclusion we were harmless cranks and from then on ignored us completely.
All of a sudden a few pickups with flashing lights and half a dozen people carriers arrive (all sporting Bangkok plates) and the equivalent of a Saga tour is disgorged, judging by the amount of security around 1 old boy oldmanwithstick he must have been a big shot, an immense amount of food and drink is now consumed in a record time and then they all disappeared as quickly as they came!
To be continued...............................
TBWG sawadi
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More riveting entertainment!
Well after lunch a trawl around the local bars and restaurants to suss out the place leaves me feeling bloated from all the liquids imbibed. However its about time we check out if Koffi is back so we make our way to his place, but Koffi is nowhere to be seen, oh dear have we embarked on a fools errand?
No, Won informs us he is in the toilet and on cue he arrives looking a bit perplexed, where's Steve? Huh? It transpires that when Won told him some friends had arrived from Satuk he said American Steve? as in a recent phone conversation with him he said he might pay a visit! Yes says Won! First and hopefully last time i'll ever be mistaken for a yank!
I can't help thinking he is a bit disappointed with the arrival of the reserve team! Anyway the coffee begins to flow liberally and excellent it is too. gmorning
So after a meal in a local restaurant and a lot of bull****ing we agree to meet early next morning for a coffee extravaganza! see... http://www.paksong.info/laos_coffee_workshop.php (http://www.paksong.info/laos_coffee_workshop.php)
Early next morning we meet a Koffi's skip the brekkie as we had indulged at the hotel, but did consume more coffee. Well I won't spoil any possible trips you my plan to make but I now know an awful lot about planting, growing, harvesting and roasting the various types of coffee beans especially Arabica being the speciality of the area. I am also the proud owner of 300grams of coffee beans roasted by moi! coffeeman
Well all in all a very different and interesting way to spend some time ~~~~ so after more coffee we leave Paksong by the alternative route as suggested by Koffi to embark on some more adventures!
TBWG sawadi
To be continued..........................
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party7
TBWG!! Like the story so far and awaiting with baited breath for the next instalment. chairhit
:)
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party7
TBWG!! Like the story so far and awaiting with baited breath for the next instalment. chairhit
:)
Your wish is my command :blink:
If you came in July the road would be finished say's Koffi, after suggesting that we do the circular route and lunch at Tat Lo! Bearing in mind it's February that's like saying I'll set fire to my car so nobody will steal it! Pointless! loco
But we decide to go that way anyhow with Markus driving as he is used to driving on the wrong side of the road. It is difficult to get lost in this part of Laos because there are so few roads and this one is quite good, what was Koffi drivelling on about. The road soon turns into a superb recently laid piece of tarmac ...... great, we will soon be feasting on fish and chips in Tat Lo. hungry1
Oh dear after 5 kms the road turns into a dirt road cut into the brush alongside the new stretch which is still under construction and the bad news, it says for 25 kms, better put the grub on hold.
If we are feeling sorry for ourselves spare a thought for the poor sods living by the side of the road. With the passing of every vehicle a thick orange dust cloud is thrown up which seems to hang in the air for an eternity. We drop back about a kilometre from the car in front so that we can have a fighting chance at seeing were we are going only to stir it all up again. The locals who unsurprisingly are all orange must be eating, drinking and inhaling it day in day out. Bet they can't wait for July!
We now have some idea of what it must be like to compete in the Paris - Dakar rally only at about 20% of the speed but our trusty Fortuner copes with the terrain well, gawd, it does not bear thinking about if it should rain.
Well we eventually get back onto reasonable road and arrive at Tat Lo. This really is a gem, a waterfall feeding a small lake in which kids are playing and bathing whilst we watch from a restaurant veranda overlooking the scene and supping beer. What more could one want.... female company ... hey presto, Jessica and Claudia, US and German respectively join us at our table and we spent an enjoyable hour or so swapping travel stories. Although our method of travel, decent hotels and own car is poles apart from their back packing and public transport experiences. Fraid i'm too old for that lark.
Anyway Tat Lo has perhaps a dozen hotels and restaurants and is just a small village, but an idyllic one and well worth the visit! So we are soon back on the road on our way to Pakse and determined this time to arrive in daylight and get a decent hotel.
To be continued!
TBWG sawadi
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The final less than riveting episode hahaha
Well we arrive in Pakse with plenty of daylight left and proceed to the bright lights side of town, Lot's of reasonable looking hotels and guest houses and some very non Thai/Laos architecture presumably the French influence.
We decide on a modest looking guest house for one reason only ~~~ It is next to the Nizam Curry house! The guest house is neat and clean and Baht 600 for a large room with 2 double beds, so a done deal! After a shower and on leaving the hotel we are approached by an exhausted attractive young lady with a huge backpack and a guitar (what prompts people to take a geetar backpacking)? party2 who is looking for more modest accommodation. Had we any suggestions!! I was tempted to offer her the spare bed in my room but suspect that she may have thought that my intentions were not entirely honourable! Which of course they were. (you can interpret that which ever way you want).
In hindsight this was a sensible move as I suffered from excess flatulence after my Tandoori chicken and the "Boss lady" says I snore like a train, which I dispute however.
So off for a walk along the Mekong, a few beers at one of the riverside establishments to watch the sun slide down as smoothly as the Laos Beer. wubbar This has the effect of putting an edge on our appetite so back to the curry house. Well a table full of excellent food and a few beers and excellent service cost about 6 quid for 2 and we were both fit to burst. The only bad taste left in the mouth was when the owner confiscated the tip we had given the waiters and pocketed it with a smirk.
This particularly annoyed Markus who I thought was about to thump him! So much for Swiss/Indian relations!
Anyway a quick reconnoiter to suss out a suitable breakfast haunt and its off to bed.
After a sound nights sleep it's up early for an early start back to Thailand, but not before an excellent breakfast at a Cafe within 30 metres of the Hotel. Fresh Coffee plus freshly squeezed orange, French bread and a nice plate of eggs, ham, sausages etc again for about 3 Euro for 2.
So now we embark on an uneventful drive back to Thailand were the satnav again begins to function.
It is only once we are back in Thailand that the thought occurs to us that going to Laos is in fact like stepping back in Thailand 20-30 years.
Fini
TBWG sawadi
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:)
Thanks TBWG, a very interesting story. lightened the day. And yes its a shame that Thailand is not like what it was 20 to 30 years ago. smilenod
I remember my first trip there, early 80's was a great place to visit. unfortunately I did not come back until a few years ago. and I did visit some of the places I did back in the 80's. yup they had changed beyond all recognition! but thats what they call progress :-\ I guess.
The sadest thing is that a lot of the Thai peoples attitude has changed towards the Farang as well. But that is covered in another part of the forums.
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Hi Marauding Scot wave1
I would like to suggest that we get together sometime after 4th April which will allow me to recover from my Oz trip.
Meeting at say 3 o'clock outside the 711 opposite the market. To aid recognition I will wear a red carnation on my Sid Vicious T shirt and have a rolled up copy of "The Times" under my left arm. cool1
To be doubly sure you should use the code phrase of the day, it being "Can I buy you a drink" to which the reply should be "Mines a bottle of Archa".
Hope you understand all these precautions but you can't be too careful these days! Just name the day tonguebar2
David aka TBWG sawadi
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coolbar
Hi Dave,
Ok lost first reply as timed out! coffeeman
So will retry
To be doubly sure you should use the code phrase of the day, it being "Can I buy you a drink" to which the reply should be "Mines a bottle of Archa".
If answer I get back is "sure, I go short time 500 Baht" then I know I have the wrong person ???
Though I suspect Dave from Surin may post a different answer. :D
I would like to suggest that we get together sometime after 4th April which will allow me to recover from my Oz trip.
Meeting at say 3 o'clock outside the 711 opposite the market. To aid recognition I will wear a red carnation on my Sid Vicious T shirt and have a rolled up copy of "The Times" under my left arm. cool1
Sounds good, as I am hoping to get down to Phanom Rung, between 3 and 5th April, as its the correct solar alignment for the sunrise to lighten through all 15 sanctuary doorways. so should be quite good! gossip1
I will look out for the "clockwork Orange" punk rocker1 thats if you have a bowler hat tuck away somewhere! As for me, loco I'll be the rather white, hot looking Farang wandering around being earached by a g/f saying why do we have to go out in the sun and where the hell is the 711 chairhit
So sounds good.
I hope you enjoy your Oz trip, should be an interesting season as they only have one tank of fuel and Schewy is back!
Will drop you a note closer to the time when I get a better idea of the schedule coolbar
Regards
Stan
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I will look out for the "clockwork Orange" thats if you have a bowler hat tuck away somewhere!
That reminds me what did I do with that Cod Piece?
TBWG sawadi
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That reminds me what did I do with that Cod Piece?
TBWG sawadi
I think I know were you're likely to have left it! >:D confused2 love1 love1
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Well here I am in snny Satuke, and what a charming place it is confused4
Anyway TBWG I am still looking at going to Phanom Rung wat between 3rd and 5th So maybe meet up after that????
I know where the 711 is (been there many many times now) party11
Hope Oz trip was good? I failed to get to see it and do not even know wha the results were!
Anyway I have pm'd you my Thai mob numb.
Speak soon
Stan fastclapping
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Well here I am in snny Satuke, and what a charming place it is confused4
Anyway TBWG I am still looking at going to Phanom Rung wat between 3rd and 5th So maybe meet up after that????
I know where the 711 is (been there many many times now) party11
Hope Oz trip was good? I failed to get to see it and do not even know wha the results were!
Anyway I have pm'd you my Thai mob numb.
Speak soon
Stan fastclapping
Hi Stan
See rivetting nail biting in depth report in sports forum. hahaha
http://www.buriramexpats.com/forum/index.php/topic,2416.msg7497.html#new (http://www.buriramexpats.com/forum/index.php/topic,2416.msg7497.html#new)
TBWG sawadi
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:(
Well sad to say I never got to meet TBWG, I did not even manage to get to Phanom Rhung either. I am sad to say that I spent the whole week ill in bed, even had the Thai family take me off to Buriram hospital to be checked out. Only some more antibiotics and come back in 3 days!! party13
So anyway promptly did so and yep more antibiotics and "have a nice holiday" smilenod
Anyway did feel a little better later on in the week (this now almost 2 weeks since falling ill) but had not eaten any proper food for over a week, decided to take off for Khon Khean!
Celebrated Songkram their, good fun and the Thais that we made friends with were very understanding that I was very Mai sabai and made sure that I did not over do it!
I felt a little better after some Farang food and as holiday was rapidely heading towards the end we decided to head down to Jomtien for the last 6 days, So after visit to Pattaya hospital. And yes more antibiotics......... So not one of my better holidays in Thailand, but at least I almost saw TBWG, fingers crossed for next time.... though I think some of the guys (Farangs) in Satuek need a better place to hang out! instead of the corner of the market!
Anyway it was a good experience and I will have to be more careful on next visit. Though think G/F's family are worried that I may not be back!!! :wacko:
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Hi M Scot
Sorry your holiday went a bit 'pear shaped' but at least this way you still have a few exciting encounters to look forward too next time.
Get that Thailand 'Countdown' clock reset and start planning!
happy3
Cheers
Dave
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Hi Stan
I know why you were poorly, it is so that you could have all those nice girlie nurses taking your temperature (with a thermometer up the ***). character5
Anyhow, I am pleased that you now have enough medication to open a pharmacy in the UK!. I agree that the farang market watering hole leaves a lot to be desired but that place really is the center of the universe for anything concerning Satuk.. Nothing happens here without the approval of its patrons.
Should you wish to open a more suitable meeting place in Satuk rather than a chemists in blighty, I am sure it would be much appreciated ~~~~~ in fact we already have a name for it in honour of the towns longest serving Farang resident a Canadian so it has to be Canadian Club or alternatively Drink Canada Dry! party4
See you next time!
TBWG
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in fact we already have a name for it in honour of the towns longest serving Farang resident a Canadian so it has to be Canadian Club or alternatively Drink Canada Dry! party4
See you next time!
TBWG
:D :D :D
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clap you should write a book tbwg i not stoped hahaha
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Should you wish to open a more suitable meeting place in Satuk rather than a chemists in blighty, I am sure it would be much appreciated ~~~~~ in fact we already have a name for it in honour of the towns longest serving Farang resident a Canadian so it has to be Canadian Club or alternatively Drink Canada Dry! party4
coolbar
Good Idea, I did mention it to g/f during stay, but would barber sell establishment! lol "see idea" no need for us farangs to move just open where we sit already! Though imagine shop keeper would be upset, so would that also involve buying him out? mmmm price is doubling already!! ???
No problem in finding girls for establishment, just means they move from 7/11 across road to sell their wares! :D. biggrin1 though local BIB would have to be greeted and smoothed.
mmmmmm g/f's parents would be mortified though. And half the peps I met were related in some way or other. Couldn't go anywhere with out meeting daughter of mother's cousin's husband's sisters boyfriend's niece, or was that niece of uncle's wife's sister's husband mother?
So its a thought!
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Should you wish to open a more suitable meeting place in Satuk rather than a chemists in blighty, I am sure it would be much appreciated ~~~~~ in fact we already have a name for it in honour of the towns longest serving Farang resident a Canadian so it has to be Canadian Club or alternatively Drink Canada Dry! party4
coolbar
Good Idea, I did mention it to g/f during stay, but would barber sell establishment! lol "see idea" no need for us farangs to move just open where we sit already! Though imagine shop keeper would be upset, so would that also involve buying him out? mmmm price is doubling already!! ???
No problem in finding girls for establishment, just means they move from 7/11 across road to sell their wares! :D. biggrin1 though local BIB would have to be greeted and smoothed.
mmmmmm g/f's parents would be mortified though. And half the peps I met were related in some way or other. Couldn't go anywhere with out meeting daughter of mother's cousin's husband's sisters boyfriend's niece, or was that niece of uncle's wife's sister's husband mother?
So its a thought!
Very true, welcome to rural Thailand.
Thats why Bums go to Surin and Suriners go to Buriram (or Pattaya)
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Very true, welcome to rural Thailand.
Thats why Bums go to Surin and Suriners go to Buriram (or Pattaya)
Well still suffering effects of sore throat, I have a feeling that it must have been something I ate!! character2 Though worried at what g/f's mothers aunty (head woman of village too) said.. would g/f be looked after (money wise) if I died. I should have headed for the bus straight away after that! :o
Anyway, did enjoy visit and will hopefully meet TBWG when I arrive in November. Thats if there is a Thailand left by then character1
drivinggear
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Very true, welcome to rural Thailand.
Thats why Bums go to Surin and Suriners go to Buriram (or Pattaya)
Well still suffering effects of sore throat, I have a feeling that it must have been something I ate!! character2 Though worried at what g/f's mothers aunty (head woman of village too) said.. would g/f be looked after (money wise) if I died. I should have headed for the bus straight away after that! :o loco loco loco
Anyway, did enjoy visit and will hopefully meet TBWG when I arrive in November. Thats if there is a Thailand left by then character1
drivinggear
Got a strong suspicion that he will be back in the UK. I think he told me last week (over a REAL beer) that he is going back in a couple of weeks time.
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Well still suffering effects of sore throat, I have a feeling that it must have been something I ate!! character2 Though worried at what g/f's mothers aunty (head woman of village too) said.. would g/f be looked after (money wise) if I died. I should have headed for the bus straight away after that! :o
drivinggear
[/quote]
You should keep looking over your shoulder...........Thai's have no compassion
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Hi Bums
More nail biting riveting reading hahaha of a day i'd rather forget.
I should have known things would go wrong when a silver VIP Toyota people carrier (Why are they always silver?) turned up for our trip to Bangkok to apply for my stepsons visa. I know it was VIP transport because it had it plastered in large letters along the side. However this term should be applied in the loosest possible manner when you saw the dubious collection of individuals on board, allied to the fact that this Executive transporter had at least a quarter of a million kilometers on the clock and was in bad need of a new windscreen which had large arcs scratched into it from wipers that needed replacing decades ago. Still it did pick you up from your door and drop you at your hotel in Bangkok.
Oh dear, this door to door service meant that we had a tour of further villages to pick up other VIP's! So it was about another hour before we were actually Bangkok bound! It also meant that on arrival in Bangkok I had a free tour of various housing developments, Soi's, Hotels etc. Still it did mean I slept soundly when we finally arrived at the Hotel about 3 in the morning.
Well it was then up for an early start for the visa office, now this was a real ball tightener considering I need at least 8 hours beauty sleep each night to be at least half human.
A bit of explanation about this Visa lark, my eldest UK son is getting married in October and has invited Turbo my stepson to his wedding, bearing in mind that the Boss Lady has held a UK passport for the last 5 years, as offspring he has an automatic right to settle in the UK. Why anyone would want to settle in the UK at the moment defeats me. It's overcrowded, bankrupt, overtaxed, over legislated, over speed camered, political correctness has gone barmy to the extent that a parent cannot take a photo of his own kids in a public place and the weather is crap to boot!
Despite his automatic right we still have to supply a shed load of documents and schedule an appointment ~~~~~~ which brings me onto the next dilemma! .... to be continued
TBWG sawadi
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Part II
Let me explain, to get an appointment at the VAC (Visa Application Center) you apply online and they give you various dates a few weeks hence. OK, we book a suitable date. The VAC is
based in Rajdamri Road, Lumpini, which between booking and appointment has become "World HQ" of red shirt movement.
Now I am not a political animal but why they get worked up about having a non Thai born, so called non elected leader beats me. They (the movements) are bringing the country to it's knees by the actions of the masses, in the UK we also have a non English born, non elected leader who has achieved the same effect all by himself! Quite an achievement really! As an aside, I am soooooo pleased to be in Thailand while all the UK election Bull**it is going on.
Having spent lord knows how many hours on 'tinternet' getting this appointment it is going to take more than civil unrest to put us off. Besides it does have its plus points, Hotel to oneself, half empty BTS and restaurant's with few diners!
However, the website has been saying that during the disruption they are running a limited service, so please call before visiting. So when we get through, surprisingly easily, we are told yes they are currently open, but please ring on the day to check. Now that is quite difficult as they open 8.30 appointment is 11.30 and we are 400 kms from Bangkok! So its go for it the day before and hope for the best.
In conversation it comes up that only the applicant is allowed into the VAC, but as a minor we will be able to accompany him. Great as I did not fancy hanging around for hours on end in the middle of a war zone!
I don't wish to get dragged into the rights and wrongs of this dispute but as we make our way through the red-shirts encampment I can't help but think that 90% of these people are being used and that the financiers/decision makers have got a lot of cannon fodder for a few baht a day and as much sticky rice as they can eat. Although I have to admire the logistics behind it, there are rows and rows of portaloos, large galvanised water tanks for showering purposes and most impressively a large tent equipped with half a dozen or so laptops where the foot-soldiers register and collect and record their days pay. Apart from this it is like any other day-market in Thailand, food vendors, bars, people selling shirts (mainly Red) as well as catapults and other trinkets.
At no time did we feel intimidated and life went on as normal as can be expected under the circumstances.
Wait with bated breath for next thrilling instalment!............................
TBWG
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Wait with bated breath for next thrilling instalment!............................
Part III
Well we arrive at the VAC on time and with minimum of fuss, so far so good. After being searched we are now pounced upon by various visa agents who try to re route us to their offices and think they can fill in a form for a complete stranger better than the applicant who surely must have some grasp of his own date of birth, name, address etc. If not he should not be on the streets unaccompanied and unsedated! :wacko:
Now we take a number and are told that only 1 parent can accompany my stepson, so the boss lady is in like a rat up a drainpipe and I am left to my own devices, but far from me being left in a warzone for hours on end I can now depart to the coffee shop to ponder on the wisdom of allowing so many visa agents to rent property next to the VAC. The coffee shop has free wi fi so I can now play with my Iphone for a few hours in peace with only the odd interuption to autograph some other photocopy that they require for a visa that they are duty bound to grant by virtue of his mothers UK citizenship. Bureaucracy don't you just love it.
Well 2 hours and a few thousand baht later and step one is done and dusted, paperwork will be forwarded to UK embassy and visa forwarded by post within 10 days and really there was no need for me to attend! confused4
So now it's off to Jim Thompson's house for a celebration nosh up and surprise, surprise we have choice of whatever table we would like as the sole diners!
What I failed to mention is that as a minor he needs to be accompanied by an adult family member so a niece will travel with him, he needs to supply a copy of all her details and paperwork with his application. She as the accompanying adult needs to supply all his details and paperwork with her application, result 2 grands worth of ink and paper from Big C.
Bureaucracy don't you just love it..........................to be continued
TBWG sawadi
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Bureaucracy don't you just love it....... NO !!!!
But I am enjoying your narrative trials and tribulations with the young fellows application wildman
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Bureaucracy don't you just love it....... NO !!!!
But I am enjoying your narrative trials and tribulations with the young fellows application wildman
Well for my old mate Somnat, here is the concluding post! clap
Part IV
The Boss Lady now informs me that she and Turbo will stay in Bangkok for a few days to look for a dress for her to wear at the wedding. (The cost of this bloody wedding is fast mounting up).
I just want to get out of the place so will get a bus from Mo Chit to home ASAP. The Boss lady accompanies me to Mo Chit as I am incapable of buying a bus ticket unaided. It's about 3pm there is a bus at 6 o'clock but it stops everywhere and I am advised to go for the 8.30pm VIP (That over used phrase again) bus. This is sold out, thinking back this should have started alarm bells ringing, but never mind there is one at 9pm and I am given a choice of seats via the computer screen and opt for 3A So 6 hours to kill! I lost count of how many
doughnuts and coffees I consumed in Dunkin Donuts and daren't ever venture back there as I think the Katoey on the till thinks I was hanging around cos I fancied him!
I foolishly thought that as the bus is scheduled for 9.00 pm that it would be there for boarding prior to that time, so ventured down to the station area about 30 minutes early. Jeez I have never seen so many people in such a small area in all my life, what it is like at Songkran does not bear thinking about! I then have a brain x, it's Friday 30th April surely the Thais don't celebrate May day. I should know better the country with the most public holidays in the world? Thailand! Any excuse for a beer up and party! They are all going home for the weekend . Well less than 30 mins and I'm on my way....err NO. loco
To cut a long story short we finally leave at 11.00pm the bus guy is getting peeved with me asking every 30 mins is this it? but then he only has himself to blame he has told me many times over the last 2 hours that its next bus or in 5 minutes! When I finally board the bus a pock marked surly youth is sitting in yes you guessed it 3A. Now no big deal BUT why ask me what seat I would like and enter it in computer, print a card with it on if you just sit anywhere. So I point out he is in my seat and make him move to 3B he promptly goes to sleep and lolls all over me with various body parts. Still I need not have worried as this situation was not to last long.
Upon leaving Mo Chit we head off in an unexpected direction, but what do I know I am only a Farang, maybe everyone else knew but not speaking the lingo I assume the late arrival was due to some mechanical problem, anyway we now go down completely unfamiliar roads and very narrow sois where we finish up in the Bus depot. All change, judging by the bemused expression on a lot of faces they had no idea what was going on either.
I board new bus only to find pock marked surly youth in my seat again, make him move. This time however a lot of passengers are demanding their correct seats so its like musical chairs , I am now joined by a much more amenable youth so no problems there.
It's now past midnight so I must have dropped off whilst we retraced our route and made our way out of Bangkok. For those of you unfamiliar with the route it involves going through Saraburi (spl) and onto Khorat. This part of the route is quite hilly with some steep inclines to be negotiated, this has the effect of reducing the speed of those heavily laden double trucks to a snails pace, this is not normally a problem, but with the sheer amount of traffic this has caused a tremendous tail back. Don't know how long I slept but when I woke we were already in the jam which then lasted at least 20 kms before clearing itself. During this jam most of the Thais were fast asleep including the amenable youth who was now talking animatedly in his sleep, he was also grinding his teeth really hard and loud so much so that I thought he might do himself some harm, what with the driver grinding the gears every time he downshifted on the hills it was getting quite musical.
What was now pi**ng me off was all the pickups driving up the inside and then forcing their way back in lane every time they encountered a parked or abandoned lorry of which there were many. They invariably had a lot of Thais laying in the back and consuming beer and having a good time which rubbed salt in the wound. I must have now dropped off again as I was then awoken by the sound of rain pi**ing down, think the pickup Thais not quite so smug now!
Whilst we passed through this traffic mayhem I thought it ironic that I had not seen 1 police car or officer. Even the middle of road police stations were lit but devoid of life. Now I think those police stations are a good idea...... quick access either way in event of an emergency surprised they have not appeared in UK.
Well I eventually arrived home at 7 am, and I suppose the moral is being a cheap Charlie bit me in the arse, I should have coughed up for a taxi. Also NEVER NEVER EVER go by bus again from Mo Chit.
Don't you just love Thailand thailandflag
TBWG sawadi
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Well I eventually arrived home at 7 am, and I suppose the moral is being a cheap Charlie bit me in the arse, I should have coughed up for a taxi. Also NEVER NEVER EVER go by bus again from Mo Chit.
8) true, but the taxi would have cost you 10 times as much and you would have still been suck in traffic! You could have flown? aren't they doing flights again on Thursday, Friday and Saturdays? bike038
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Hi Bums
Getting awfully near the 5,000 reads mark for this thread. confused4 Admin put the Jeraboem of Archa on ice!
I'll collect next time i'm in buriramsmiley party1
TBWG sawadi
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Well I eventually arrived home at 7 am, and I suppose the moral is being a cheap Charlie bit me in the arse, I should have coughed up for a taxi. Also NEVER NEVER EVER go by bus again from Mo Chit.
8) true, but the taxi would have cost you 10 times as much and you would have still been stuck in traffic! You could have flown? aren't they doing flights again on Thursday, Friday and Saturdays? bike038
Hi MS
Had I taken a taxi, I would have left about 3.00pm and missed the jams! Unfortunately the Saturday 'Happy Air' service does not start until 15/5 but for 1 person would have been the cheaper option.
Regarding your generous offer to buy out the Satuk barber and open a Farang Watering hole! party4 Methinks the price would be rather high, after all the ambience and atmosphere alone warrant a premium, after all it does not come cheap creating that dull grey unplastered breeze block look. But the thought is appreciated! ;)
TBWG sawadi
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:'( true, that lovely breezeblock finish is hard to beat! TBWG I though you was married already! or is this a relative! lol I am just being nosey. Anyway I am looking to come back over in November for Loy Khatong, but now see that there will be elections around this time, So hoping things will be less uncertain as they were during last visit. gossip1 Also gotta look at visa for gf to visit sunny Scotland!
Think gf is totally against the idea of opening a bar in Satuk, think she would prefer somewhere nearer the seaside, though just a bar does not make enough money, so would have to be a guesthouse too, that might work in Satuk :blink:, as the time I spent there quite a few Farangs did pass through, on one day there were 6 staying in the section of the resort I was in wave1
Anyway, keep up the posts, very enjoyable. Always good to read about life in the rurals!
Stan scotlandflag
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tbwg. I love your writing. happy3
satuk bar may be a good idea. nothing fancy but a place for farangs to get a breakfast,afternoon drinks, low expectations just to fill the place for farangs in satuk.
Name suggestment: SATUK DIGGERS! hahaha boatsailing
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satuk bar may be a good idea. nothing fancy but a place for farangs to get a breakfast, afternoon drinks, low expectations just to fill the place for farangs in satuk.
Name suggestment: SATUK DIGGERS! hahaha boatsailing
coolbar nothing beats a good breakfast, even if it is cornflakes w/milk and banana, toast and tea/coffee of sausage, bacon, eggs, beans/tomato/mushrooms, toast tea/coffee :wub:
would have to make it a guesthouse too (added income) otherwise a dozen beers a night would be slow going! ???
name???? think something Canadian has been requested already! but its a thought, nothing more. lol I can see the barber rubbing his hands with glee and phoning his wife already! oldmanwithstick
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satuk bar may be a good idea. nothing fancy but a place for farangs to get a breakfast, afternoon drinks, low expectations just to fill the place for farangs in satuk.
Name suggestment: SATUK DIGGERS! hahaha boatsailing
coolbar nothing beats a good breakfast, even if it is cornflakes w/milk and banana, toast and tea/coffee of sausage, bacon, eggs, beans/tomato/mushrooms, toast tea/coffee :wub:
would have to make it a guesthouse too (added income) otherwise a dozen beers a night would be slow going! ???
name???? think something Canadian has been requested already! but its a thought, nothing more. lol I can see the barber rubbing his hands with glee and phoning his wife already! oldmanwithstick
Hi MS
As much as I would love the barbers shop to be a farang watering hole party4 All of those shophouses are owned by a Thai/Chinese guy who makes scrooge look like a spendthrift! So little opportunity there!
Although as a cheap Charlie I can make a 35 baht bottle of Archa last a few hours blinkbar some of the patrons daily consume prodigious amounts without any side effects and when the 'canadian' is in town the Leo factory has to put on a night shift to keep him stocked up!
The marriage mentioned in previous posts is in fact my eldest UK son! My missus 'The boss lady' who keeps me on a very short leash is currently looking for a posh frock for the occasion
We go back to blighty end May and return to Satuk end October thumbup after said marriage!
TBWG sawadi
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The marriage mentioned in previous posts is in fact my eldest UK son! My missus 'The boss lady' who keeps me on a very short leash is currently looking for a posh frock for the occasion
We go back to blighty end May and return to Satuk end October thumbup after said marriage!
TBWG sawadi
Cool, I hope the Volcanic eruptions do not hamper your return, Airspace over Scotland and Ireland has been closed for 2 days again, they do have the occassional opening but most airlines have rerouted there flights to Northern England, but that is being monitored constantly!
I hope she finds a frock, :) Hope marriage goes well and congrats to son.
Anyway if everything goes well should meet this time? party6
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... they do have the occassional opening but most airlines have rerouted there flights to Northern England, but that is being monitored constantly!
Also known as an ash-hole hahaha
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We go back to blighty end May
Very optimistic that your missus will have found a frock by then TBWG.
Female,Thai and shopping all in the same sentence. brick1
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Hi No2.
Have a good time at home and at the Wedding.
Hope all goes swimmingly and that the plumbing is OK at home. fastclapping giggle
No.1
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Interesting reading. Keep the periodical log up! fastclapping
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Hi Bums
....more musings
My stepson recently changed school and now attends an Industrial College, I had no input into the decision as the Boss lady regularly tells me I do not understand Thai culture, so Butt Out!
This met with my approval though as it means no further school fees! But I was at a loss as to why they chose this college.
As you are probably aware Thai schools are very competitive and have frequent inter school competitions to see who is Top Dog!
The industrial college had until recently won zilch, however they recently won some competition and the prize was 10,000 baht. So what did they do, buy school books?, err no, buy a computer?, err no, have a big nosh up for the staff, tempting but NO!
They hired half a dozen elephants and paraded through the Town with the staff sitting atop the beasts elephant027 and the students all parading behind in their best uniforms and I must say all those teenage girls looked extremely cute. giggle wave1 love6
I suppose the attitude was, well we have finally won something and we are going to make sure you know about it! certainly original thinking.
Don't you just love Thailand!
TBWG sawadi
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Those students are underage,be careful. biglaugh
The uni girls are looking good too. preferably the ones with the grey skirt if in the right size. thumbup
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Those students are underage,be careful. biglaugh
The uni girls are looking good too. preferably the ones with the grey skirt if in the right size. thumbup
Can't say I have ever noticed! ;) :wub:
TBWG sawadi
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Hey ADMIN
This thread is rapidly approaching the 6,000 views mark, that must be some sort of record surely?
I would like to suggest to mark this monumental occasion BE put a Methuselah of Archa on ice for my consumption! party12
I will call in to collect as soon as 6,000 mark is surpassed.
TBWG sawadi
Hey these bottle sizes are pretty dang funky.... think at 10,000 it will have to be a Nebuchadnezzar of Archa! bananadance broccoli1 bananadance broccoli1
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מְתוּשָׁלַח
Say the place and it will be waiting for you there.
You'll have to work harder.. giggle
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מְתוּשָׁלַח
Say the place and it will be waiting for you there.
You'll have to work harder.. giggle
Hey Admin why not upgrade to a נבוכדנצר
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Hi Bums
Having just replied to a thread regarding rabies on the forum I thought it would be worth repeating my experiences for the benefit of others, without being dramatic you never know one day it could save your life!
One night after a few bottles of that golden nectar Archa my senses were probably a bit numbed, blinkbar but whilst cycling home from the market out of nowhere appeared a black shadow that bit through my crocs and drew blood from my little pinky. runningdog
The black shadow turned out to be a bloody great Rottweiler, who in truth could have probably removed a leg with equal ease!
The owner who was exercising it nearby now gave it a dang good thrashing with a big stick and took it to his nearby home, I followed at a safe distance to see where he lived and then pedaled off home as fast as my legs would go to get the Boss lady.
However, she insisted in washing said pinky and painting it with that brown gunk in a little yellow bottle before doing anything else, all the while muttering that I could not be trusted out unaccompanied after dark!
The boss lady informs me that if you are bitten by a dog the owner has to pay for any medication and you can apply to the local police and insist that the animal is put down. Now as it happened at the time we owned a pooch, yes you have guessed it ~~~ a rottweiler and I happen to believe that they are very intelligent and not naturally aggressive unless trained to be or badly treated. Next to the boss lady, Lizzie my rotti is my next favorite bitch!
I did not want to be responsible for having the animal put down but was concerned about the fact that this guy was exercising the dog next to a school and we have all heard stories about pitbulls etc and kids!
So we paid the owner a visit and the boss lady gave him a verbal lashing, I felt a bit sorry for the guy he had just returned from Bangkok where he was finding it difficult to earn a living and was going to sell bananas to make his fortune!
Well after lots of wai-ing and groveling he agrees that he will not let said dog out unless on a leash and agrees to pay for any treatment I may have.
Now I am quiet relaxed, I had had a tetanus jab a few months earlier and assume I have nothing to worry about, but just in case I PM a nurse on Thaivisa and ask her advice.
Next day I get a reply telling me to get my a**e down the hospital ASAP as if I left it untreated and the dog was a carrier my only other option was death! character5
She now puts the fear of God into me as she says a large proportion of dogs in Thailand are rabies carriers and even if the dog was well looked after it will almost certainly at sometime in its life have got out and mixed with soi dogs who could easily be carriers. Having seen some of the mangy flea bitten mutts in the area this is not hard to believe.
To be continued.........................
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Hi Bums
Having just replied to a thread regarding rabies on the forum I thought it would be worth repeating my experiences for the benefit of others, without being dramatic you never know one day it could save your life!
One night after a few bottles of that golden nectar Archa my senses were probably a bit numbed, blinkbar but whilst cycling home from the market out of nowhere appeared a black shadow that bit through my crocs and drew blood from my little pinky. runningdog
The black shadow turned out to be a bloody great Rottweiler, who in truth could have probably removed a leg with equal ease!
The owner who was exercising it nearby now gave it a dang good thrashing with a big stick and took it to his nearby home, I followed at a safe distance to see where he lived and then pedaled off home as fast as my legs would go to get the Boss lady.
However, she insisted in washing said pinky and painting it with that brown gunk in a little yellow bottle before doing anything else, all the while muttering that I could not be trusted out unaccompanied after dark!
The boss lady informs me that if you are bitten by a dog the owner has to pay for any medication and you can apply to the local police and insist that the animal is put down. Now as it happened at the time we owned a pooch, yes you have guessed it ~~~ a rottweiler and I happen to believe that they are very intelligent and not naturally aggressive unless trained to be or badly treated. Next to the boss lady, Lizzie my rotti is my next favorite bitch!
I did not want to be responsible for having the animal put down but was concerned about the fact that this guy was exercising the dog next to a school and we have all heard stories about pitbulls etc and kids!
So we paid the owner a visit and the boss lady gave him a verbal lashing, I felt a bit sorry for the guy he had just returned from Bangkok where he was finding it difficult to earn a living and was going to sell bananas to make his fortune!
Well after lots of wai-ing and groveling he agrees that he will not let said dog out unless on a leash and agrees to pay for any treatment I may have.
Now I am quiet relaxed, I had had a tetanus jab a few months earlier and assume I have nothing to worry about, but just in case I PM a nurse on Thaivisa and ask her advice.
Next day I get a reply telling me to get my a**e down the hospital ASAP as if I left it untreated and the dog was a carrier my only other option was death! character5
She now puts the fear of God into me as she says a large proportion of dogs in Thailand are rabies carriers and even if the dog was well looked after it will almost certainly at sometime in its life have got out and mixed with soi dogs who could easily be carriers. Having seen some of the mangy flea bitten mutts in the area this is not hard to believe.
To be continued.........................
Intersting........ I have heard many times where they go through with treatment for rabies, but have always wondered why they don't test the dog first?
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Interesting........ I have heard many times where they go through with treatment for rabies, but have always wondered why they don't test the dog first?
Hi Mike
Would you want to try and catch a dog that has just bitten you? Let alone stick a needle in it or whatever they have to do to test it! confused4
That reminds me of catching the snake thats just bitten you and taking it to hospital so they know what serum to use character5 ~~~ Easier said than done!
TBWG sawadi
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In the private hospital they keep pickled specimen snakes in jars for identification purposes!
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In the private hospital they keep pickled specimen snakes in jars for identification purposes!
Or For Lunch hungry1
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums
Having just replied to a thread regarding rabies on the forum I thought it would be worth repeating my experiences for the benefit of others, without being dramatic you never know one day it could save your life!
One night after a few bottles of that golden nectar Archa my senses were probably a bit numbed, blinkbar but whilst cycling home from the market out of nowhere appeared a black shadow that bit through my crocs and drew blood from my little pinky. runningdog
The black shadow turned out to be a bloody great Rottweiler, who in truth could have probably removed a leg with equal ease!
The owner who was exercising it nearby now gave it a dang good thrashing with a big stick and took it to his nearby home, I followed at a safe distance to see where he lived and then pedaled off home as fast as my legs would go to get the Boss lady.
However, she insisted in washing said pinky and painting it with that brown gunk in a little yellow bottle before doing anything else, all the while muttering that I could not be trusted out unaccompanied after dark!
The boss lady informs me that if you are bitten by a dog the owner has to pay for any medication and you can apply to the local police and insist that the animal is put down. Now as it happened at the time we owned a pooch, yes you have guessed it ~~~ a rottweiler and I happen to believe that they are very intelligent and not naturally aggressive unless trained to be or badly treated. Next to the boss lady, Lizzie my rotti is my next favorite bitch!
I did not want to be responsible for having the animal put down but was concerned about the fact that this guy was exercising the dog next to a school and we have all heard stories about pitbulls etc and kids!
So we paid the owner a visit and the boss lady gave him a verbal lashing, I felt a bit sorry for the guy he had just returned from Bangkok where he was finding it difficult to earn a living and was going to sell bananas to make his fortune!
Well after lots of wai-ing and groveling he agrees that he will not let said dog out unless on a leash and agrees to pay for any treatment I may have.
Now I am quiet relaxed, I had had a tetanus jab a few months earlier and assume I have nothing to worry about, but just in case I PM a nurse on Thaivisa and ask her advice.
Next day I get a reply telling me to get my a**e down the hospital ASAP as if I left it untreated and the dog was a carrier my only other option was death! character5
She now puts the fear of God into me as she says a large proportion of dogs in Thailand are rabies carriers and even if the dog was well looked after it will almost certainly at sometime in its life have got out and mixed with soi dogs who could easily be carriers. Having seen some of the mangy flea bitten mutts in the area this is not hard to believe.
To be continued.........................
Here go's............................
Well having put the fear of God in me I begin to think about an incident many years ago.
My ex wifes sister worked for the charity Save The Children and along with her best friend was packed off to Bangladesh to set up a health center. character5 The best friend was bitten by a rabid child and had to undergo a series of anti rabies injections as part of the course. This involved a bloody great needle being inserted in the stomach which apparently is extremely painful. Now I have a very low threshold to pain and the thought of this does not appeal to me at all. However I was extremely relieved to hear that the treatment has progressed considerably and I would only feel a little prick! nono
As an aside the Rabies/treatment left the nurse with kidney damage and associated life long health problems.
So off I go to the local hospital with the Boss Lady who starts ordering people about newargue and getting me instant attention. A very attractive female doctor who looks about 18 prescribes the necessary treatment and I kind of hope that she is going to jab me in the butt! No deal!
First you have got to pay for it and collect it from the in house pharmacy then go to emergency department to have it administered, all done and dusted in about 30 minutes.
However, now a problem, you have to have the jabs in a sequence (can't remember exactly) but something like another after 3 days then 7 days 14 days etc. Well I am off to Nong Khai on a visa run the next day as well as a few days break in Vientiane so have to take all the medication with me in a cool box and visit local clinics on the way! The next jab is due on a Sunday whilst in Nong Khai. Obviously people up there do not get ill at weekends as I find myself almost alone in the hospital emergency room apart from one other Thai gentleman sitting there holding the same meds as me.
Well this happened a year or so ago and I am still here so all is well, if however I had been bitten by a rabid dog and had not had any treatment, I was told it would take 90 days for the bacteria to make its way to my brain and upon arrival would turn me into a cabbage whilst suffering an extremely unpleasant demise.
The cost of the course of medication was just over Baht 2,000 from local gov't hospital (paid for by dog owner)
Moral ~~~ Where rabies is concerned better safe than dead!
Don' you just love Thailand
TBWG sawadi
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The cost of the course of medication was just over Baht 2,000 from local gov't hospital (paid for by dog owner)
you are lucky it ended up this way. fastclapping
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Hi Bums
Snakes & Ladders Soil
Well the Boss Lady has decided she wants a new lawn, you know one of those Malaysia grass jobs which apparently it is difficult to kill. Bearing in mind I have managed to ruin 2 previous attempts of normal type grass perhaps this is a shrewd move.
But this time I will do it properly and put down some decent soil. I soon come to the conclusion it is going to cost a small fortune if I buy those small 5kg 20 baht bags from the nursery, so I call the telephone number on the bag and see if we can buy it wholesale. When I say call I mean the Boss Lady gives them a ring and tells them what they have to do!
It transpires that they will supply 20kg larger bags at a much discounted rate but you have to have a lorry load to make it worth while for them to deliver as they come from Lop Buri, so that means about 300 bags.
So I bite the bullet and order a lorry load, well it arrives 2 days later along with the owner of the company who personally takes payment before his 2 labourers unload the sacks, credit were credit is due they distribute half the sacks randomly over the area where I intend to lay the lawn and stack the others in the sala. Now shifting 300 20kg sacks is no mean task so when finished I break out a few cans of beer which they eagerly consume before pushing off. alcoholic
I soon discover that cutting and emptying 150 20kg bags is a knackering job but spread it over a few days to make it easier on the blisters. party13
Anyway, the point of this post is not about laying a lawn but about creating a snake magnet i.e. 150 bags stacked in the sala that appears to be an attractive home for all sorts of creatures who over the next few days take up residence. I should also explain that on our land snakes are tolerated not killed as they keep down vermin and I quite like them, maybe I would have a different attitude if we had small kids but our house is a sprog free zone!
Anyway apart from providing shelter for the usual toads and ching chucks we also attracted Checkered Keelbacks, Bronzebacks and Rat snakes. The Keelback is non venomous but is a wanabee cobra and can be aggressive so the father in law insisted on chasing it out of the garden, made him happy but it was back within a few hours! Well this pile of sacks provided a diminishing home for all and sundry for a few weeks whilst the rest of the soil was distributed round the garden, the snakes then made themselves scarce!
A few pics ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBWG sawadi
[attachment deleted by admin]
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good luck with the new lawn do you have many snakes around the house? also would like to know what is the best solution to keep away this kind of animals like snakes, mouse and others from the house area? someone advised keeping cat in yard............ redbite confused4
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good luck with the new lawn do you have many snakes around the house? also would like to know what is the best solution to keep away this kind of animals like snakes, mouse and others from the house area? someone advised keeping cat in yard............ redbite confused4
Hi BB
What I have found is that if you have a lot of clutter around the grounds then it will attract all sorts of livestock who want to make it their home!
The odd rate snake which is quite harmless and shy will keep vermin down ~~~ as for a cat they need feeding and a lot of looking after in this climate so I prefer the snake option.
TBWG sawadi
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Hi BB
What I have found is that if you have a lot of clutter around the grounds then it will attract all sorts of livestock who want to make it their home!
The odd rate snake which is quite harmless and shy will keep vermin down ~~~ as for a cat they need feeding and a lot of looking after in this climate so I prefer the snake option.
TBWG sawadi
My Thai relatives and neighbours tend to keep the snake/rat/bird population down around my home! redbite hungry1
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The lawn looks great, how often you have to mow it ?
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The lawn looks great, how often you have to mow it ?
The Malaysia grass lawn gets mowed every 3-4 weeks, it likes a lot of water and does best shade.
TBWG sawadi
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Things for Brits to ponder on ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ greatbritainflag
Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.
Live in a tiny room and pay up to £900.00 per week (and possibly more) with no hope of ever getting out.
Justice for all we say.
Think about this (more points of contention):
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COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a
single cow, born in Bourne almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Lincolnshire?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ...
Why don't we just give them ours? It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.
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THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this -
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ..... It creates a hostile work environment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now you know 1 of the reasons why you are in Thailand!
TBWG sawadi
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fastclapping I just wanted to express one's opinion.
I'm a resident in Buriram, I'm impressed to see foreigners unite to build up the expats community which it's a part that helping the buriram province as known to the people more than before. ( Isaan go Inter!!,lol) giggle
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Hi Bums
Arjarn Ungrit
I am constantly told by people who know or think they know, that the Thai education system sucks and pupils are taught by rote and not encouraged to think for themselves or ask questions!
Must admit that my encounters with the system left me with the feeling that it left a lot to be desired.
Well I recently had a visit from an old school friend who is a teacher in the UK and we came to the conclusion that although we only had a secondary modern education in hindsight it was a b****y good one.
He went on to explain that the system in the UK has deteriorated so much that it now only turns out 4 x 4's Huh! what are they doing building cars at school? drivinggear No it transpires that a 4 x 4 is a young single mum with four kids by four different fathers!!
He also says calling the morning register is beset with problems, poorly educated, dyslexic parents who think it is fashionable to name their offspring after 'C' list celebrities and sports heroes have great difficulty spelling the names correctly on the birth certificates, so the kids go through life with names like Jasyn and Destyneigh. Oh dear! confused3
So maybe Thai education system is not so bad after all!
TBWG sawadi
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So maybe Thai education system is not so bad after all!
Let me start off by thanking you for an excellent thread sir. bravo1
Regarding the Thai education system; I told my Thai missus the other week that I need to go to the San Francisco for work next month. Now this is obviously a long flight from Amsterdam and when I told her that I wasnt looking forward spending half a day on a plane again she asked me 'but is Amerikaaaaa not in Eulop?' I was absolutely baffled but it made complete sense when she told me that in school they were taught that Thailand is the centre of the universe with a couple neighbouring countries around it.
The Thai (Isaan) education system is simply proper shite.
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So maybe Thai education system is not so bad after all!
Let me start off by thanking you for an excellent thread sir. bravo1
Regarding the Thai education system; I told my Thai missus the other week that I need to go to the San Francisco for work next month. Now this is obviously a long flight from Amsterdam and when I told her that I wasnt looking forward spending half a day on a plane again she asked me 'but is Amerikaaaaa not in Eulop?' I was absolutely baffled but it made complete sense when she told me that in school they were taught that Thailand is the centre of the universe with a couple neighbouring countries around it.
The Thai (Isaan) education system is simply proper shite.
Hi Esco
Thanks for the complimentary comments.
Afraid if it does not involve food then Thais just do not seem interested.
The Boss Lady who has a university degree is also ignorant about world geography, and even more worrying is not in the least bit interested in learning! :o
TBWG sawadi
PS: Welcome to the forum! buriramsmiley
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The Boss Lady who has a university degree is also ignorant about world geography, and even more worrying is not in the least bit interested in learning! :o
TBWG sawadi
PS: Welcome to the forum! buriramsmiley
She is not alone David, my wife is the same.
I am sure if I went to the trouble and cost of taking her to London, all she would do is go shopping for handbags and shoes. Thats why we remain firmly here with occasional visits to BKK/Pattaya & other places.
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nowinkbar
Maybe the education authority of Thailand could do a world map showing "FOOD" from every country! whistle
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Doggy Fashion runningdog
Recently whilst having a pleasant lunch hungry1 with a few friends, we had to witness some impromptu entertainment that was definitely not on the managements agenda, or if it was we were not charged for it!
It did however get me thinking about the phrase "doggy style".
Anyway to set the scene a large mangy mongrel was hanging around the restaurant presumably in the hope of getting some scraps. However he was promptly sent on his way, only to suddenly reappear with his little girlfriend in tow, when I say little I mean about a third his size.
He now proceeded to do what only dogs can do. i.e. mount his little bitch in public in broad daylight and without any fear of reprisals from the authorities, he did get a bowl full of water for his troubles from the restaurant staff but this did not dampen his ardour.
Now being a middle class UK lad opportunities for watching dogs shagging were few and far between in my neck of the woods so I assumed doggy style was in fact doggy style! But no these two were now locked ar*e to ar*e together, the little bitch barely touching the ground.
Now for humans to engage in such an act would necessitate the male being hung like a donkey with a universal joint in the middle of his todger (so from now on I think I will call it horsey fashion).
Well to get back to the dog coupling, apart from being chased by the staff two other dogs appear on the scene trying to get in on the action, this results in some serious skirmishing between all 3 male dogs, all the while the little bitch is attached to her partners nether regions and is either being swung around in ever decreasing arc's or bounced around like a ball under the flailing dogs.
I now assume that the mangy dog decides that possession is 99% of the law and takes off at speed dragging his little bitch along backwards behind him with feet occasionally touching the ground. runningdog
All of this to applause from the diners and relief from restaurant staff.
Don't you just love Thailand!
TBWG sawadi
Don't phone your vet in the middle of the night!
An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbour's dog whilst the neighbours went on their holidays.The only problem was that the spinster's own dog was a bitch that was on 'heat' and the neighbour's dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.
As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster was suddenly awakened by an awful howling and moaning sound from downstairs. She rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when mating.The dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage. Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do next.
Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings the rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone.
The spinster explained the problem, and the vet said: "I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them. I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch."
"Oh," said the spinster, "do you think that will work?"
"Well," the vet replied, "IT JUST WORKED ON ME !!!!!!"
giggle
TBWG sawadi
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Bureaucracy don't you just love it....... NO !!!!
But I am enjoying your narrative trials and tribulations with the young fellows application wildman
Well for my old mate Somnat, here is the concluding post! clap
Part IV
The Boss Lady now informs me that she and Turbo will stay in Bangkok for a few days to look for a dress for her to wear at the wedding. (The cost of this bloody wedding is fast mounting up).
I just want to get out of the place so will get a bus from Mo Chit to home ASAP. The Boss lady accompanies me to Mo Chit as I am incapable of buying a bus ticket unaided. It's about 3pm there is a bus at 6 o'clock but it stops everywhere and I am advised to go for the 8.30pm VIP (That over used phrase again) bus. This is sold out, thinking back this should have started alarm bells ringing, but never mind there is one at 9pm and I am given a choice of seats via the computer screen and opt for 3A So 6 hours to kill! I lost count of how many
doughnuts and coffees I consumed in Dunkin Donuts and daren't ever venture back there as I think the Katoey on the till thinks I was hanging around cos I fancied him!
I foolishly thought that as the bus is scheduled for 9.00 pm that it would be there for boarding prior to that time, so ventured down to the station area about 30 minutes early. Jeez I have never seen so many people in such a small area in all my life, what it is like at Songkran does not bear thinking about! I then have a brain x, it's Friday 30th April surely the Thais don't celebrate May day. I should know better the country with the most public holidays in the world? Thailand! Any excuse for a beer up and party! They are all going home for the weekend . Well less than 30 mins and I'm on my way....err NO. loco
To cut a long story short we finally leave at 11.00pm the bus guy is getting peeved with me asking every 30 mins is this it? but then he only has himself to blame he has told me many times over the last 2 hours that its next bus or in 5 minutes! When I finally board the bus a pock marked surly youth is sitting in yes you guessed it 3A. Now no big deal BUT why ask me what seat I would like and enter it in computer, print a card with it on if you just sit anywhere. So I point out he is in my seat and make him move to 3B he promptly goes to sleep and lolls all over me with various body parts. Still I need not have worried as this situation was not to last long.
Upon leaving Mo Chit we head off in an unexpected direction, but what do I know I am only a Farang, maybe everyone else knew but not speaking the lingo I assume the late arrival was due to some mechanical problem, anyway we now go down completely unfamiliar roads and very narrow sois where we finish up in the Bus depot. All change, judging by the bemused expression on a lot of faces they had no idea what was going on either.
I board new bus only to find pock marked surly youth in my seat again, make him move. This time however a lot of passengers are demanding their correct seats so its like musical chairs , I am now joined by a much more amenable youth so no problems there.
It's now past midnight so I must have dropped off whilst we retraced our route and made our way out of Bangkok. For those of you unfamiliar with the route it involves going through Saraburi (spl) and onto Khorat. This part of the route is quite hilly with some steep inclines to be negotiated, this has the effect of reducing the speed of those heavily laden double trucks to a snails pace, this is not normally a problem, but with the sheer amount of traffic this has caused a tremendous tail back. Don't know how long I slept but when I woke we were already in the jam which then lasted at least 20 kms before clearing itself. During this jam most of the Thais were fast asleep including the amenable youth who was now talking animatedly in his sleep, he was also grinding his teeth really hard and loud so much so that I thought he might do himself some harm, what with the driver grinding the gears every time he downshifted on the hills it was getting quite musical.
What was now pi**ng me off was all the pickups driving up the inside and then forcing their way back in lane every time they encountered a parked or abandoned lorry of which there were many. They invariably had a lot of Thais laying in the back and consuming beer and having a good time which rubbed salt in the wound. I must have now dropped off again as I was then awoken by the sound of rain pi**ing down, think the pickup Thais not quite so smug now!
Whilst we passed through this traffic mayhem I thought it ironic that I had not seen 1 police car or officer. Even the middle of road police stations were lit but devoid of life. Now I think those police stations are a good idea...... quick access either way in event of an emergency surprised they have not appeared in UK.
Well I eventually arrived home at 7 am, and I suppose the moral is being a cheap Charlie bit me in the arse, I should have coughed up for a taxi. Also NEVER NEVER EVER go by bus again from Mo Chit.
Don't you just love Thailand thailandflag
TBWG sawadi
Time warp forward 6 months and ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well the time of the wedding is rapidly approaching and my stepson and a Thai niece arrive at Gatwick courtesy of Qatar Airways for the big event.
The interweb say it is going to touchdown early so I get there in plenty of time. I have done enough pontificating about getting the visa so expect it to be plain sailing through immigration with the "Full Monty" of pukka visas and documentation ~~ err no!
Well the plane may have landed early, but it then sits on the tarmac for another hour before they can actually disembark. Once they get to the immigration then starts what can only be described as the Spanish Inquisition revisited. This takes the form of an interrogation for about 1 hour. It is obvious where we have gone wrong, they have the correct visas and my wife has a UK passport so her son is automatically entitled to join her irrespective of any other circumstances, they have a place to stay, they are not entitled to any benefits, no problem I have already stated many times we will support them whilst here and they also have return tickets.
Now had they been Albanian Roma arriving with 10 dependent children as well as elderly parents, they would immediately be given accommodation, health care and handouts totaling thousands per week. Why bother to do everything properly?
Well at least the new coalition government seems to be coming to grips with this, but is does seem that they pick on easy targets and conveniently avoid difficult situations.
Well after 21/2 hours they are eventually allowed through to be greeted by the wonderful UK weather...... it is cold p***ing down and grey.
So straight to bed to sleep it off ...........................To be continued!
TBWG sawadi
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Cont...............................................................
Now what am we going to do to occupy them for a couple of weeks? Well for first day it's get measured for Turbos wedding penguin suit! then it's eat, sleep, talk ~~~ sleep, eat, talk ~~~ sleep, talk, eat!
But the weather improves a bit so it's a trip to the local town so they can rummage through the charity shops (Boss Ladies favourite pastime) whilst I read the paper and have a cappuccino, this combined with a visit to the local park and a fish & chip dinner manages to take a whole day and gives them plenty to talk about.
To be continued ................................
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Blog fans
I should know better! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well the Thai wedding contingent have arrived like a plague of locusts, eating anything that is not screwed down. pray1
Foolishly I suggested we all go to Tesco for a weekly shop, forgetting that there is a bloody good reason why they all shop 3 times a day back in Satuk.
Well I finish up with an overloaded trolley full of all manner of things which I would not normally purchase, but which they wish to try as part of the cultural English experience, no problem there, after all they do not come to the UK often.
However before we have even finished unloading the car they are starting to eat! Well at least it saves putting the groceries away! hungry1
Now I know that the concept of delayed gratification is a definite no-no for Thai's, but at least lets get the food in the house before they start to tuck in to Blackberries, ice cream and chillies and salt? hungry1
Turbo tucks straight into a fruit trifle complete with custard and cream as an appetiser to his somtam, omelette and other Thai dishes which are immediately being prepared, all whilst I am still trying to unload the car and pack other stuff away. Really a waste of time as they embark on a mission to consume the entire weeks groceries in one sitting. Oh dear. I won't make that mistake again!
All this is only the prelude to our meal a few hours later which is booked at a local French restaurant!
I just hope that they will all still fit their clothes as I have no wish to buy them larger outfits! confused3
Well the wedding is now just 2 days away so how can I occupy them whilst not eating, which in truth is not long!
To be cont..........................................
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hehehe. today you write very funny, I think you should keep your credit card on 'ready position' till they go...... what did they purchased that no have in Thailand? snacks or food? like.... Have they tried blue cheese there or what? Outside of Thailand there are so many kinds of cheese many Thai people are not aware of, Cheese in Thailand is expensive, maybe they should try it in England.
Or better yet, Black pudding, REAL fish & chips and real English pie. jumping7
I don't want to take too much of your time, you might be in preparation for another shopping extaza trip with the kids...........!!! pompom 2guys
thumbup
(http://www.cumberland-sausage.net/photos/black_pudding/black_pudding_med.jpg)
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Admin
Fish & Chips ~~ done that! That was after the cream doughnuts and before the somtam! hungry1
TBWG sawadi
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Ah the good old fish supper, butI am dismayed that there is no salt and sauce on them :o
this is a picture of a sausage supper! :D well I hope it looks like a sausage!!!! winkboy
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Ah the good old fish supper, but I am dismayed that there is no salt and sauce on them :o
this is a picture of a sausage supper! :D well I hope it looks like a sausage!!!! winkboy
If you will post larger picture we will be able to answer on this question...... fighting1 happy1
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Hi Bums
Well the wedding went well and the weather was great but I must admit to still feeling a bit tender! party12
See attached photo of the Thai contingent in their best gear ~~~ what is amazing is that it still fit's at they have not stopped eating for the last 6 days! On the other hand my wallet is a lot slimmer! :o
So now I can concentrate on getting back to Satuk! spot1
TBWG sawadi
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lol cool, they look superb in their "best gear" glad you had a nice time. You'll be looking forward to getting back to the peace and quiet of Satuk monkeydancing
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Hi Bums grin
Well the wedding is over, fortunately none of the inmates who were on day release for the big event absconded, mainly due to excess beer rendering them incapable of thinking let alone walking! party12
Anyway, how to keep the Thai contingent occupied? A trip to the big smoke and see a show should fill a day, of course interrupted only for eating every 20 minutes or so.
Well we start off at Westminster Bridge to see the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben. Immediately I get into a row with a couple of Romanian Gypsies who seem to think that I want a tatty little flower for which in return they expect a couple of quid!
I tell them where they can put their flowers, which then results in me being cursed in god knows how many languages. I have great difficulty in explaining to the Boss Lady what is going on and get into trouble for upsetting the nice foreigners!
The nice foreigners are obviously on nice little earners judging by their Ugg boots and up market watches.
Whilst the family are taking shots of each other along with Big Ben, I watch the gypsies relieve some Japanese couple of a 20 quid note in under one minute! Nice work if you can get it bearing in mind they are probably getting social security and job seekers allowance to boot!
So we now proceed on the usual tourist route ~~~ Buck House, Downing Street, Horse Guards parade, St James Park, Trafalgar Square etc. etc. until we arrive at Covent Garden, where I have a bit of a problem explaining why it is quite normal for a man naked apart from his Y fronts to be standing on a 6ft high platform in 6c temperatures juggling working Chain saws! character1
To be continued...................................
TBWG sawadi
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:o
Not sure if the person on the platform below is worried about him dropping achainsaw or that thing that is coming out of his pants! excercise1
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Hi MS
The guy cowering is some Japanese pop superstar who just happened to be filming with a Japanese TV crew in the area. He was persuaded to do some juggling in front of Hannibal the chainsaw juggler by the film crew. But it looks as though he had second thoughts and would rather not have his head parted from his body due to some slip up!
Anyway ~~~ day trip continued
After another pub lunch of fish & chips we decide to make our way to the Lyceum Theater for the matinée of The Lion King. Near the Theater we see squillions of school kids queuing up for yes, The Lion King, the theater staff have obviously got this down to a fine art keeping the kids at a safe distance from the action.
Not to worry a school trip will be in the cheap seats, a long way from our royal circle seats. So we confidently take our seats but there are surprisingly few punters about! Still I had booked the seats a while ago so we are slap bang in the middle for a good all round view.
Now the reason for the sparse number of theatergoers becomes apparent as we are inundated by hundreds of excitable schoolkids, I can still see the look of horror on all the adult faces! The chap sitting next me gave a resigned sigh and said, s'pose it's only to be expected at a matinée performance during half term!
Please Miss..... I want a wee, Miss, Jordan's nicked my sweets, Miss, Jason's left his phone on the coach! Miss, Oscars wedged some popcorn up his nose! How these poor teachers maintain their sanity is a marvel!
Fearing the worst I slump down in my seat to await the start. The Thai contingent having all gone to sleep as soon as they had sat down.
A miracle now occurs, the lights dim the kids all hush and the show holds them spellbound for the next few hours with barely a peep from any of them, except where it was expected and they then responded enthusiastically and in fact added to the enjoyment with their enthusiasm. party10
The only aggravation was the boss lady occasionally interpreting into Thai what was going on!
Well a great show, but now they are all hungry again! So its a nice meal at Navajo Jo in Covent garden before a ride upstairs on a big red bus to Victoria Station and home!
To be continued......................................
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums
more exploits...........
Well me and the Boss Lady have just got back from the airport after packing my stepson and niece back to Bangkok courtesy of Qatar Airways.
After getting stiffed for a fiver to park the car for 45 minutes I am getting fed up with being ripped off in the UK ~~ but then a return Qatar Airways ticket from BKK costs 50% more than the other way around so it seems I just can't win wherever I am.
How to keep the visitors occupied ~~ I know
Brighton .... That should keep them occupied for a day, browsing in the Lanes and a trip up the pier, typically British. So we set off down the M23 on a grim, grey day but as soon as we pass through the downs the sun comes out and all looks great, the downs create a sort of micro climate along the coast, it might be sunny but as soon as we get out the car a chill breeze fresh off the Atlantic takes ones breath away!
Before we left home they had consumed what I would call a full midday meal but Thais call it breakfast, still at least they aren't hungry! Yet! hungry1
Well we wander around the Lanes and Brighton Pavillion but all they seem interested in is sunglass shops, of which I would of thought there were enough in Bangkok, apparently not as they make a purchase. cool1
Anyway, we eventually get to the promenade and bearing in mind coming from Issan the sea is not a common sight they are transfixed by a dirty English Channel and the seagulls. So we make our way up the pier only to spy some English lunatic actually swimming in what must be almost freezing water.
Now I would hate to be the father of a couple of young kids these days as all the rides are priced in tokens and a token costs a pound, with the rides costing 3-5 tokens each you could easily blow a hundred quid in an hour and not have anything to show for it.
Fortunately all the Thai's seem interested in is looking at the spread on the seafood stalls and looking is free, well at least only the cost of a large pot of prawns. hungry1 Trouble is the seagulls are also interested in the prawns and use us for dive bombing practice.
to be continued.................................
TBWG sawadi
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Are you a Tesco club card VIP member yet and have you now got a designated parking space?
Dave (no1)
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Hi Dave No 1
Not a Tesco VIP clubcard holder but have been giving the riff raff clubcard a bashing whilst the visitors have been staying ~~ should have a nice dollop of points when I get back to UK! Dave No2
The saga continues.....................
Now the dive bombing seagulls reminds me of a story my old cellmate "Sticky Fingers" the shoplifter had told me.
He had seen an Alcoholic flat on his back on Brighton seafront having vomited all down himself before passing out. This of course had attracted the attention of the seagulls who were feasting on the big lumps, this in turn attracted the attention of the local constabulary who where trying to stop the seagulls from depriving him of his eyeballs whilst trying to remain upwind to avoid the rather unpleasant smell. :o Nice huh.
Anyhow the prawns had put an edge on the Thai appetites so its off to Bella Pasta for a dose of spag bol and red vino! hungry1 After lunch it is decided that me and Nick my no 2 UK son will adjourn to the pub for a pint whilst the Thai trio continue to annoy the local shopkeepers. Give us a call when you have finished.
Well I have barely got a pint of Magners down my throat when the moby goes! They are ready, but can we go via Crispy Creme Donuts as apparently the first Bangkok franchise had opened just before they departed and customers had to queue for 4 hours to be served. How sad is that? But they want to know if all the fuss was worth it! So half a dozen donuts and 2 minutes later we are done and dusted. Err no.
Does Nick know a skateboard shop in Brighton? unfortunately yes and I spend what seemed about an hour waiting outside while Turbo wheedled the funds out of the Boss Lady for the last word in skateboards. Now why they could not have done all that whilst I sat in the pub is a mystery.
So now we say goodbye to Nick who lives in Brighton, Kemptown area, also known as "Vaseline Valley" and a favorite haunt of The Bangkok Ladyboys giggle when over for the gay pride parade.
Just in case you wondered he goes off to meet his girlfriend, he's not a fudgepacker!
Anyway after taking out a second mortgage to pay for the car parking we head home, where the Thai Trio consume half a dozen donuts and ten quids worth of finest Scottish salmon as an appetiser for the evening meal! hungry1
So now it's on with the packing as Moi and the Boss Lady prepare for our winter retreat next week to Satuk and some sun and heat.... can you please arrange!
Fini
TBWG sawadi
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Great report! enjoyed reading. :)
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Thanks Foxy fastclapping
Hi Bums
Well back in Thailand now all went according to plan with taxi driver ready and waiting.
However after getting off the plane and through immigration in record time only to wait about 20 minutes for baggage to show, I suppose 20 minutes for a planeload of anything from 1,500 - 2,000+ items is pretty good going and I am always so relieved when I spot our luggage that the wait is instantly forgotten.
So it's all loaded up on the trolley and off we go to the nothing to declare immigration channel. However it looks as though they are giving something away free judging by the hundreds of peeps hanging around the exit. stop1 Not another half hour queue, but what's this we are being called to the front by a smart looking young immigration lady who promptly waves us through no problemo!
From what I can see it looks as though we must have followed an Arab flight in and they are checking all the Muslim types ( beards and yasmaks that sort of thing ). Putting all their baggage through additional x ray machines and searches.
Now if that was the UK you would have gawd knows how many do gooders up in arms about racial profiling and harassment and if they complained they would probably be awarded a few grand of taxpayers money to shut them up!
But after reading on the forum about all the recent drugs shipment emanating from the Middle
East and being confiscated then there is no smoke without fire! So racial profiling certainly works.
It was only later whilst the taxi was having its underside washed for the third time as we negotiated the Phi Mai floods that the irony struck me.
I deliberately fly Emirates because no brain washed suicide bomber is going to target an Islamic airline, they also have one of the youngest fleets flying the latest equipment, not to mention the best price! So it seems to me that I am currently getting the best of both world's.
It really is a no brainer why should I fly British Airways, American airlines or US Air even Air France ( who it would appear are the latest to get up Osama's nose), apart from the fact that the names are a terrorist magnet these airlines are either insolvent or financially insecure with ageing fleets.
So I will continue to fly Emirates secure in the knowledge that I won't be blown up but maybe spaced out if there is any freebies on the recreational substances front! cool2
TBWG sawadi
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Looks like i share the same logical approach to flying................safe, happy and quids in!!!!!! spot1
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Looks like i share the same logical approach to flying................safe, happy and quids in!!!!!! spot1
I thought most UK travelers opt for "Etihad Airways" as the cheapest option?.. confused1
http://www.etihadairways.com/ (http://www.etihadairways.com/)
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>:D
china airlines best price i've found so far
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Hi Almog, Emirates is the best for me by £160 over Etihad. I fly from Birmingham next month as opposed Heathrow which maybe cheaper? For me the extortionate parking charges/petrol or tube/ train etc to get back up to the border from London doesnt make it an attractive proposition. Going to be arriving the evening of the 1st Dec so will miss out on the BBB night...........gutted so close but so far >:(.
cool3 I saw China airlines were good on price but flights with emirates suited me better.
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or Eva but TMWG lives near to Gatwick and nearly all the others fly out of Thiefrow
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Oh well thats my theory shot down in flames ~~ Excuse pun!
31 October 2010 Last updated at 12:55 GMT
One of the two bombs posted from Yemen last week was transported on two passenger planes before being seized in Dubai, Qatar Airways says.
The device was carried on a Qatar Airbus A320 from Yemen's capital Sanaa to Doha, the company told the BBC.
There it was transferred onto another Qatar Airways plane to Dubai, where it was seized by police.
The bomb used PETN explosive, which is difficult to detect using normal airport security screening.
A second device was found at East Midlands Airport in the UK. Both bombs were hidden inside printer toner cartridges.
Until now it had been thought that both devices had been transported using cargo planes.
The firms UPS and FedEx had been used to post the devices, which were addressed to synagogues in the US.
The British authorities says the bomb seized in the UK was believed to have been designed to go off during the flight.
AQAP is known to have been developing advanced and inventive bomb-making techniques.
It came close to killing the Saudi interior minister with one device and to bringing down an airliner on Christmas Day with another.
The exact way in which these devices were to be detonated is not clear. This is another sign of growing creativeness allied to ongoing ambition.
Attacking cargo planes has also long been anticipated as a potential tactic. Militant groups regularly look for any weak spots in security and aviation remains a prime target.
Qatar Airways was unable to confirm which type of passenger plane was used to fly the device on from Doha to Dubai, but said it would have been an A320, A321 or Boeing 777. The firm also runs one freight-only flight a week Yemen to Doha.
"Qatar Airways can confirm that a recent courier consignment was carried aboard one of its aircraft from Sana'a to Dubai via Doha International Airport," said a statement on the airline's website.
"The carrier stated that, as per Chicago Convention, it is not the responsibility of the country in which the cargo transits to x-ray or inspect the cargo. This responsibility belongs to the country from where the consignment originates.
"Furthermore, the explosives discovered were of a sophisticated nature whereby they could not be detected by x-ray screening or trained sniffer dogs. The explosives were only discovered after an intelligence tip off."
US media quote officials as saying a Saudi-born bomb-maker, Ibrahim Hassan al-Asiri, is their prime suspect.
He is believed to be one of the leading figures in Al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) and the organiser of a suicide attack by his brother last year on the Saudi intelligence chief, Prince Mohammed bin Nayef. The prince survived the attack, which also used PETN.
The Yemeni authorities are questioning a student who is alleged to have posted the devices, and whose mobile phone number was reportedly left with the offices.
She has been named by rights groups as Hanan al-Samawi, 22.
The authorities initially described her as a medical student, but later reports said she was studying computer engineering at the University of Sanaa and had no known Islamist links.
"Her acquaintances tell me that she is a quiet student and there was no knowledge of her having involvement in any religious or political groups," her lawyer, Abdel Rahman Burman, told Reuters news agency.
"I'm concerned the girl is a victim because it doesn't make sense that the person who would do this kind of operation would leave a picture of their ID and their phone number."
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums
Farang Explosion!
What has the west got going for it at the moment ~~~ answer not a lot, apart from the weather which at the moment seems to be breaking records and reducing entire countries to a standstill, the economic outlook is grim for the next 10-20 years as countries try to balance the books without upsetting voters, in itself an impossible task.
Now why am I prattling on about all this doom and gloom, well it is about to affect me!
My farang novelty status is being eroded!
Looking at it from another way if you are retired in the UK on a small private or basic state pension you are lucky if you can afford to exist in a one bed flat huddled around a one bar electric fire whilst you decide whether to eat or pay the council tax.
On the other hand get yourself out to Thailand, you can thaw out, rent a reasonable small place have a beer or 2 each day wackobar and eat well, cheaply... not much of a decision really providing a darling does not latch onto the presumed "wealthy " farang and relieve him of what little he has. Which in all honesty is quite likely once he is exposed for the first time to the new novelty of the "sweet shop"
Now with the aid of a credit card and the internet this is in everyones grasp.
In Satuk I see a couple of new farangs every day, most you see once or twice then never again but it is still diluting my novelty value, kids no longer stop and gawk spouting farang, farang, and shop keepers now give you that oh another one look rather than wow a foreigner attention.
Now me being an insignificant toerag I quite like the minor celebrity status, but I s'pose I will have to get used to being a nobody again ..... it was nice while it lasted!
I have also noted that a lot of the newcomers are a lot younger, the internet again and the darlings are spoilt for choice, however the youngsters are potless so there is still a chance for old codgers like me! oldmanwithstick
What do you think?
TBWG sawadi
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I am very happy not to get the farang welcome attitude, it is making them confused and mostly they are too excited to understand what you are trying to tell them! even in Thai language. wow farang farang farang. enough! give me service please do it fast no sawadi is necessary. stop1
sometimes they just are staring at you in a funny way so in this kind of situation I just move on to another place! enough is enough we are farangs no aliens. :o
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David TWBG
Re-commence wearing your Bay City Rollers scarf and trousers, that should do the job!
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Satuk sounds like Buriram town was when I first arrived in 1998.
In the town centre you could go for days without seeing a Farang. Got a glimpse of the occasional newbie holding hands with his new found love while being followed into the motorbike,tv and gold shop by about 100 "aunts and uncles". Usually only saw them once. Not sure why. loco moneysmile
There were no bars. No farang food. Not even dodgy bacon in 7/11.At least that's changed for the better. whistle
I guess TBWG is right about the internet making things happen. 12 years ago there was only one internet place in Buriram and that was on 56k modems.
Even makes me start to feel old.
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David TWBG
Re-commence wearing your Bay City Rollers scarf and trousers, that should do the job!
Hi DDt
An admirable suggestion and it had also crossed my mind ~~ BUT ~~ I have put on a few kilos since the 70's.
However all is not lost, perhaps I could borrow your BCR outfit? party2
thumbup thumbup thumbup
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums
Breaking Wind thumbup
Well after gorging myself on one of Paddys excellent Christmas dinners I decided that a bit of excercise was needed to work off some of my excess flab.
So a quick call to Funsmile to check out the Boxing day breakfast situation at Mueanfun Resort confirmed that she could put on a spread ~~~ how is this going to reduce the kilos I had put on, well I would cycle there!
I suggested this to fellow Satuk resident Markus who being a keen rider was all for it as it would only be a 40 km round trip so no problemo!
So 7.30 next morning we set off on what must have been one of the most windy days of the year and into a brisk headwind, at least the return would be easy. Making good progress we turned off the main drag onto winding back roads which had been recently resurfaced.
When we were cycling directly into the wind the going got tough so Markus in his best Swiss English suggested I get close to him so he could break wind for me!!!!
Having just had a dose of Paddys best brussel sprouts I was quite capable of breaking wind on my own thank you very much !!!!
But being in his slipstream did in fact make the going a hell of a lot easier, that was until I got a bit too close, clipped his rear wheel and went into a sort of speed wobble with my legs flying in all sorts of directions, I just about got it back under control before running out of road and disappearing down a 2 metre embankment.
Well after straightening the handlebars and checking my emergency can of Archa was still secure there was nothing worse than a few grazes and bruises on my shins ................ so on to Mueanfuns.
Where we were greeted by a great smell of coffee and a superb spread which included some rather nice liqueur party5 as well as a great breakfast.
Having gorged myself yet again we then set off back to Satuk and covered the return 20 kms in 40 minutes with the benefit of a strong tailwind. Bearing in mind I normally only ride around town about 3-4 kms a day I was exceeding pleased with my effort.
TBWG sawadi
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MueanFun resort, Chumphonburi is a great friendly place to be, lately she has upgraded the food dishes. AROY. party13
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Pagodas & Soldiers
Well 90 days is nearly up so a trip to Myanmar (That's Burma to you and me) is on the cards to renew my visa courtesy of Air Asia cheap Charlie deals! (This later comes back to bite me in the arse!!!) But it beats going to Chock Chai any day.
After an Early departure from Suvarnabumi I am not exactly on the ball when I get to Yangon/Rangoon and have difficulty getting to grips with the taxi it is RHD as per Thailand and UK but something is not quite kosher? In a flash of inspiration I get it ..... we are driving on the wrong side of the road!
Apparently some astrologer monk (who would be a non driver) advised the Junta that it would be a good idea to drive on the other side of the road! So be it.
Now from a practical point of view the only benefit is the driver gets out onto the pavement, that's the sidewalk for our colonial cousins! 99% of the vehicles in Burma are RHD so pedestrians, bus passengers etc get out into the traffic flow, great huh, also all the cars are second hand imports from Japan, so the supply is always going to be RHD. Unless of course you are one of the few who can afford to import LHD from the west. Saw a Hummer plus a few Jags whilst I was there.
The few are basically the generals who are also paranoid about their own personal safety, so much so they have banned motorcycles from Rangoon for fear of assassination attempts. This came about after a late night cavalcade of big nobs was buzzed by a lot of unruly youths on motorcycles.
These offenders where quickly tracked down and to the man where offspring of the generals. So the residents of an entire city are now deprived of their motorbikes and have to cram onto the ageing already overcrowded buses.
So can superstitious paranoid soldiers who rely on monks for illogical decisions really be the way forward in the 21st century ~~~~ That's not all there was a general who thought it was agood idea to ........................
To be continued!
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums ~~ more riveting exploits! :unsure:
Mingalaba = Sawadee Krup ( That's my entire Burmese vocab!)
My taxi driver who is clearly no fan of the generals advises me that he is only allowed 2 gallons of petrol per day for his ageing Toyota, but as with anything that it rationed it creates a black market and supplies are plentiful at a price. But with the going rate about $5 per gallon it is clearly expensive to start with on a Burmese budget.
Petrol stations are scarse and I saw queues getting on for 1/2 kilometer long just to get the daily ration.
One thing that is plentiful in Burma is the Pagodas and I have now seen enough to last me 3 reincarnations.
My taxi driver advises me that it is common knowledge that the only thing more numerous than pagodas in Burma is soldiers!
Which brings me back to those in power ~~~ another brain-box of a general had a brilliant idea, well at least he thought so, 9 is a lucky number so he decided that all numbers would be denominated in 9's rather than 10's and this would be bound to bring enormous riches to all concerned.
However this turned out to be one good idea to far and caused all sorts of problems so was soon conveniently forgotten.
Talking of good luck I am now in line for a large dose myself after donating 1,000 kyatts (don't get to excited that's only 50 baht) to a Python! The beneficiary I am told is in fact the reincarnation of a Buddhist nun.
On the day she passed away the python arrived at the Pagoda and took up residence on her bed that was a few years ago and it is still there. It now has its own swimming pool in the room where it whiles away the day before returning to the bed for it's nightly zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's
--oOo--
My impression of the place is that everything appeared normal, people are all smiles and appear to have just as much freedom as Thai's. But clearly there is an undercurrent just below the surface and with good reason should those intellectually challenged generals ever get their hands on a nuclear device.
--oOo--
Clearly stupidity is not limited to nationalities as I managed to turn up at the airport 10 minutes after the plane had taken off ~~~ don't ask!
Being Air Asia I would have to buy another ticket for the evening flight as a low cost carrier they will not just shove you on the next available flight, tough luck your fault. bigcry (This is worth bearing in mind if you are thinking of booking a flight for on carriage, should your previous flight be delayed)
Anyway Thai have a flight leaving in an hour so I still might make my Nok Air flight to Buriram.
A one-way ticket is $188, well I have blown most of my dosh on my stay so I'll pay with credit card eh sorry no credit/debit card facilities due to sanctions! Well an ATM, eh sorry no ATM's in Burma same problem.
A quick count up of my dollars plus Baht shows that I am the owner of the princely sum of $189, phew that was close, then comes the punch line! plus $10 departure tax, PANIC!
I was eventually rescued by an elderly chinese lady who donated $10 and to whom I will be eternally grateful!
So by the time I eventually clear immigration at Suvarnabhumi it is midday under normal circumstances an hour to transfer to the next flight OK, yes but Nok Air go from Don Mueng.
Not a hope in hell of getting that (hope Nok Air have a refunds policy) After my last exploits at Mo Chit I decide sod the expense get a taxi!
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums (appropriate huh)
Thinking of buying some seating for the terrace ~~~ Wot do you think? Classy huh! nono
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Bums (appropriate huh)
Thinking of buying some seating for the terrace ~~~ Wot do you think? Classy huh! nono
TBWG sawadi
very nice I like. where did you see it? price?
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Hi Buriramboy
They are avaiable at Dan Kwian near Immigration office.
Off the top of my head they are on same side of road a km or so before the 2 pots turn off for immigration office.
Thats coming from Korat direction NOT Chock Chai. It is a large establishment has a couple of large stone elephants in a pond at the front. Parking at rear which is where the bum stools are situated.
Not sure of price.
TBWG sawadi
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what do you do when sexy daughter from across the street come over?
Me, I hide. Stick with Boss lady.
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Hi Bums
Well after sinking a few bottles of Magner's wackobar and scoffing some excellent grub hungry1 at Paddy’s St Patrick’s day soiree, it was back to Satuk before dark as the boss lady had only given me a daytime pass. knuppel2
However she was in a good mood and made the mistake of letting me go down to the market to check that the Archa supply was up to scratch!
At this point I should mention that I had had a run out on the Honda Phantom to the previous days night market and topped up on fish food for my pet goldfish ‘Blackie’.
Now his/her favorite nosh comes in a 30baht plastic bag secured with many lethal staples, so I decided to decant it into an empty nescafe jar to keep all the pesky insects and rodents from getting a free meal. To avoid spilling it I did this over the sink in the kitchen.
You may well be getting ahead of me now but after returning from the market slightly the worse for wear from performing quality control checks on several bottles of Archa alcoholic , I fancied a ~~~ cup of coffee.
Despite it being a lot cheaper, I can now confirm that fish food is a crap substitute for coffee, take my word for it don’t be tempted !
TBWG sawadi
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Songkran musings!
I suppose I have lived in Thailand long enough to know that common sense and self preservation are not attributes readily associated with Thai male youth. alcoholic
But, during Songkran celebrations watching the above mentioned stand in the middle of a main road directing traffic, grooving and splashing water whilst pissed out of their mind beggars belief, not only because of their own inebriated state but because the majority of the mobile population are also pissed and intent on using them for target practice.
I am however pleased to report that the only casualty was one individual covered in his own vomit!
On a slightly lighter note I was amused to see an elderly Thai man circa approx 75-80 yoa riding a bicycle whilst sporting a T shirt which said 'Stop staring at my tits' buttslap
You have to love Thailand!
TBWG sawadi
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elderly Thai man circa approx 75-80 yoa riding a bicycle whilst sporting a T shirt which said 'Stop staring at my tits'
Lovely - only in Thailand ;D
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Hi Bums
Ants in my pants ~~~ well not really, but its about the only place the little buggers haven't got recently!
Now I am used to being bitten by (mot deng) well red ants then whilst I am out in the garden and it seems that if you have mango trees then they particularly like nesting in them. But at least they are big enough to see and too date seem to stay in the garden.
What I am talking about is the little black buggers and although they don't bite they do get everywhere!
With the arrival of the rainy season they seem to have had a population explosion, they seem to have taken up residence in my car as well as the entire house. Now I am fairly meticulous about clearing up after myself but leave a speck of food anywhere and hundreds of the buggers appear!
The other evening whilst on the computer I suddenly had spots in front of my eyes, fortunately this was not a medical condition just these little sods strolling around on my glasses!
What I'd like to know is are any of you folks inundated with them and if so how do you get rid of them? knuppel2
TBWG sawadi
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Hi Folks
Whilst I am in the UK avoiding the rainy season I still keep in touch with the farangs back in Satuk. crazydance
Well, one of them recently sent me an e mail about his exploits whilst on route to Korat and I repeat them here for your entertainment. When the Tourist office of Thailand advertise amazing Thailand is this what they mean? whistle
"Last Thursday, having mistaken the day for going to Buriram Immigration, we had to make the trip to immigration at Korat.
On the way there, having traversed the route 24 & turning onto route 15, we had nearly arrived at immigration when we saw in the distance something on the road. Was it a workman? Or a police check? No, it was a “katoey” or lady-boy dancing in the fast lane of the 4-lane highway! party3 party3 party3
He/she had shed the top exposing perky breasts. She/he had also dropped his dacks and was go-go dancing with the shorts around his ankles displaying his genitalia for all to see. We blinked twice and passed by.
At immigration, Pim was chatting to a policeman who was also parked in the car park and mentioned what she had seen. The policeman said, yes he had seen it too but passed it by (obviously not wanting to waste his time by taking it into custody and having another mouth to feed in the watch-house!)."
Truly amazing Thailand!
TBWG sawadi burirampea
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Nookie's Baps
For the uninitiated Nookie has a regular run to Pattaya to stock up on amongst other things bread and rolls, so if you are craving some pumpernickel or a pair of bloomers Nookie is your man!
I say Nookie, but to his closest friends he is known as Amazon, I have made a few enquiries about this name and have ascertained that it is because he meanders about a lot, has a big mouth and can be seen from space! Well you can't argue with that.
But what a lot of people do not know is that Nookie is a talented style guru and colour coordination expert, so much so that BBC five are doing a special through the karsey keyhole special on the ablutions at his restaurant.
A must for all toilet lovers, so don't miss it! love5
Don't you just love Thailand.
TBWG sawadi burirampea
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burirampea
Ha,ha,ha! Well, I reed this from cold Sweden and I really miss Buriram. But I will be back soon!
Take care you all and enjoy staing in Buriram! Say hello to ewerybody from ...
Frank
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Nookie's Baps
For the uninitiated Nookie has a regular run to Pattaya to stock up on amongst other things bread and rolls, so if you are craving some pumpernickel or a pair of bloomers Nookie is your man!
I say Nookie, but to his closest friends he is known as Amazon, I have made a few enquiries about this name and have ascertained that it is because he meanders about a lot, has a big mouth and can be seen from space! Well you can't argue with that.
But what a lot of people do not know is that Nookie is a talented style guru and colour coordination expert, so much so that BBC five are doing a special through the karsey keyhole special on the ablutions at his restaurant.
A must for all toilet lovers, so don't miss it! love5
Don't you just love Thailand.
TBWG sawadi burirampea
David - Can I just ask if you posts of 17 July and 20 September are in anyway connected ?? :laugh:
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Hi CC
Must admit Nookie immediately came to mind when I heard of the incident. But, I dissmissed it when I read about the perky breasts.
I suspect Nookies manboobs are anything but perky! smilenod
TBWG sawadi sawadi burirampea burirampea burirampea
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Cobra cobblers
I see many Forum posts about how top get rid of or how to kill snakes, as a live and let live advocate I am all for leaving the things alone, but appreciate that if you have toddlers this is not always an option.
However, it does make me recall an amusing thread I came across some time ago.
The gist of it was that this guy had a nest of cobra's in a compost heap and asked for suggestions as to how to get rid of them.
The ideas ranged from making a noise to scare them off, dousing the compost heap in petrol, sprinkling chili powder on them and encircling the heap with lime.
To which he replied now lets see if I've got this right, I should play a boom box on the heap, smother it with petrol lob on some chili and lime and set fire to it. Is there anything I have forgotten ? Cos if that does not work I am running out of options.
I wonder if he got rid of his cobra's?
Don't you just love Thailand. spot1
TBWG sawadi burirampea burirampea burirampea
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Cobra cobblers
I see many Forum posts about how top get rid of or how to kill snakes, as a live and let live advocate I am all for leaving the things alone, but appreciate that if you have toddlers this is not always an option.
However, it does make me recall an amusing thread I came across some time ago.
The gist of it was that this guy had a nest of cobra's in a compost heap and asked for suggestions as to how to get rid of them.
The ideas ranged from making a noise to scare them off, dousing the compost heap in petrol, sprinkling chili powder on them and encircling the heap with lime.
To which he replied now lets see if I've got this right, I should play a boom box on the heap, smother it with petrol lob on some chili and lime and set fire to it. Is there anything I have forgotten ? Cos if that does not work I am running out of options.
I wonder if he got rid of his cobra's?
Don't you just love Thailand. spot1
TBWG sawadi burirampea burirampea burirampea
There is the option to try to get people to understand what a delicacy Cobra meat is, and the problem takes care of itself.
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To which he replied now lets see if I've got this right, I should play a boom box on the heap, smother it with petrol lob on some chili and lime and set fire to it. Is there anything I have forgotten ? Cos if that does not work I am running out of options.
Kick them in the Cobra's :laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOCqw3d43RM
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Hi Folks
I should have smelt a rat.......................................................
When the driver said don't put the luggage in the coach hold as it might get wet! boatsailing
I suppose this was to be expected as I was setting off 24 hours early to ensure that I would catch my flight from Suvarnabhumi airport and avoid the floods.
Well the bus journey from Satuk to BKK Mo Chit is normally about 6 hours and I was warned that it may take a little longer. So armed with a load of sarnies and a couple of bottles lemon tea I settled down on the bus in my shorts and T shirt. Well that was another mistake the air con was set on what felt like rapid freeze and I was the only twat in shorts! When we eventually reached Mo Chit 9 hours later the cooled refresh wipe offered by the bus girl would have stuck to my skin should I have been daft enough to use it.
Anyway we did eventually reach Mo Chit via an interesting scenic route. All went well for first 5 or so hours and I was lulled into a false sense of security but then as we arrive on the outskirts of Bangkok the bus decides to turn off into the boonies!
Well now we had a glorified tour of bumf**knowhere driving down narrow roads where the water levels either side of the road were at least a meter higher than the road and only held back by some hastily erected mud banks. Although credit where it is due they appeared to be working!
So baggage in the hold remained dry ~~~ this time!
Eventually we resurfaced in Miniburi and proceeded to crawl into Bangkok, this was not helped by every flyover or elevated road having cars parked is some cases 2 rows deep and many with covers obviously expecting a long stay to avoid having to empty flood water from the ashtrays!
In fact a taxi driver had told me a week earlier that the airport car park was full of long stay vehicles in an effort to avoid the flooding.
All I need now is for the airport to stay dry for the next few hours and I will be on my way ~~~Just hope it is still here when I return in a weeks time!
Don't you just love Thailand!
TBWG burirampea burirampea burirampea
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Did they charge extra for the Mystery Tour ? :biggrin:
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Let there be light.
Farang arrive in big silver bird and bring light in bottle!
It would be nice to come back after my 4-5 month absence and find that I do not need to spend a couple of hours going round and replacing all the light bulbs which have blown whilst I was away.
It's not a matter of money because I allways leave a supply of bulbs readily to hand.
I often wonder what would happen if all the bulbs blew would they flounder around in the dark until I return?
No, silly me, what was I thinking they still have all the candles for the Buddha ceremonies to fall back on!
TBWG sawadi burirampea burirampea burirampea
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party9HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL PEOPLE AT THE FORUM FROM COLD SWEDEN!
Frank, Jan Jenifer
[attachment deleted by admin]
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Sawadee Phi Mai party12 party9 party11 party4
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spot1I miss my house...and Buriram!+
Frank
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Pussy mutilation! nono
What is it with the cats in this country they can’t have all had their
tails shut in the door!
Is it Thai custom to dock the tails?, some look as though somebody has
tried to tie a knot in it, I used to think it was a duff gene, (just like
Thai soi dogs all seem to have come from a small gene pool) but now I suspect it is
just ignorance and the owners mutilate them at birth just because it’s what
they have always done!
Anyone have any ideas sensible or otherwise? exclaim
TBWG sawadi burirampea burirampea burirampea
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In all the years I have been coming to Thailand I have only ever seen one Siamese cat. That was in Bangkok many years ago. Siamese cats have a genetic trait which leaves the end of the tail with a distinctive 'kink'. Why the locals should dock their kittens tails I've no idea. Perhaps it's a good luck thing.
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Cats: even unapproachable, more or less wild cats have this trait generally. I think it is genetic.
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Three-legged dogs.
That's another thing.
I have never seen so many as I have seen in Thailand. I think I understand why - the buggers never move when they are sleeping in the sois so there will be the inevitable accident.
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I never saw so many repulsive fatties in my life as I see on Sukhumvit either, come to that.
present company excepted of course
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Hi Bums
That's let the cat out the bag!
Whilst discussing the cats tail issue (sad I know) with a buddy he remebered an amusing cat issue from many years back. With my warped sense of humour I found it amusing and repeat it here ~~~~~
At the time i.e mid seventies O0 the individual in question happened to be living with his girlfriend who was a cat lover and also a nylon stocking wearing nurse. Stockings were standard nurse equipment apparently!
Now he being inclined to partake of dubious substances had the great idea of putting the cat in one of her stockings. To his great amusement the cat now looking like a cross between a giant sausage and a bank robber spent the rest of the afternoon squirming around on the floor whilst he tripped out and forgot all about it!
However, on returning from work the cat loving owner was mortified to see what had happened the her pussy, which had pissed all over the floor in fright.
Needless to say the relationship finished soon after.
Hmmm maybe he had produced the first cat burglar?
TBWG buriram_united sawadi
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Another lesson learnt the hard way! buttslap
The Boss lady and stepson are off to Maha Sarakam to register him at the University and do all the necessary paperwork and find accommodation etc.
This means I will be home alone for a few days and the boss lady is afraid a farang on his own will not be able to cope. I assure her that all will be OK and nothing can possibly go wrong.
Well within minutes of their departure the ants have managed to fuse all the outside lights and I have bunged up the loo with potato peelings! (don’t ask).
To cap it all the water cooler bottle has run dry, not a problem as we have spares. I should mention that replacing these bottles is the responsibility of said stepson who is now en route to Maha Sarakam, again not a problem as any idiot can replace a water bottle.
So I grab a bottle that is all on its lonesome and am surprised just how heavy it is, so decide to unplug the cooler as a safety measure, health & safety you see.
Well its a bit of luck I did as when I get the bottle waist high and invert it the bloody thing shatters and deposits 10 liters of H2O all over the cooler me and the floor!
Now that is an awful lot of water plus 6-7 years of accumulated crap and dead insects that have been flushed out onto the floor. Resulting in an hour or so's work cleaning up, but a least we have a nice clean floor now.
It transpires that the bottle was languishing all on its own because everybody can tell a bottle that has been in the sun to long and is brittle and is waiting to disintegrate Everybody that is apart from this retarded farang!
TBWG buriram_united sawadi
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How you gunna keep em down on the farm.
Well the sap is rising in the ol rubber trees so it is time to get back on the farm and reap the rewards of 7 years hard work nursing them.
The latex did start flowing last season so the family have bought a new diddy Suzuki pick up to run dad to and from the farm cos at 89 he is now too old to get on a motorsai.
Trouble is the new motor is manual and the boss lady can only drive an auto, so would I mind driving it up to the farm.
No problem ~~~ just tell me when you are ready to go, I have given up trying to get them doing anything at a certain time.
Well the Suzuki is packed with all sorts of clobber for the extended stay , rice cookers, bedding, crockery and cooking utensils as well as clothing, food etc, etc. Dad is sitting in the back along with 3 dogs on pieces of string and with the boss lady.
So off we go, well these suzuki’s are made for thai’s so I find that I am looking at the sun visor and not out of the windscreen, still if I slouch down I can just about see out. Not a bad vehicle, 5 speed and also has a CD player.
Anyway, I am instructed to stop at the local shop so they can stock up with half dozen of those big 10 litre bottles of water. That done we are on our way to the farm which is about 14kms away.
Some of the way is on excellent tarmac road, whereas some parts of it is pockmarked like a war zone with great big potholes. I am impressed with said motor and we are nipping along when all of a sudden we hit a big pothole, this has the natives is the back shouting orders to me in thai which I assume means slow down you asshole!
Well we reach the turnoff for the farm there's another kilometer down a dirt track and we finally arrive, now the fun starts.
Looks like everyone in the back has pissed themselves, but no that's the result of a couple of the 10 litre water bottles shattering when I hit the potholes, has dad been sick no, one of the dogs has vomited over him! Not too bad, looks mostly rice, but rather him than me. He then lets the dogs off the string, they immediately jump out grab the nearest chickens and disappear off in different directions leaving the boss lady with a dilemma as to which one to chase first. runningdog
Well half an hour later the boss lady reappears with rescued chickens and is too exhausted to give me a bo**ocking re the shattered bottles. buttslap
In the meantime the truck has been emptied of saturated clothing and washed out courtesy of the spilled water and I am enjoying a well earned beer and contemplating my run of bad luck with those waterbottles!
TBWG buriram_united sawadi
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Three-legged dogs.
That's another thing.
In Soi 6 they call these Lady-Boys :)
Nice anecdote's TBWG bravo1
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Did you see any Routemaster buses in the bottom of those holes TBWG ? smilenod
I'm sure I saw at least one in a pothole when I was there last. runningdog
Cheers, John
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Did you see any Routemaster buses in the bottom of those holes TBWG ? smilenod
I'm sure I saw at least one in a pothole when I was there last. runningdog
Cheers, John
Hi J the T
Can't say I have ever seen any routemasters in the potholes, but I have seen a buffalo wallowing in one whilst on my travels. (pothole that is not a bus!!!)
TBWG buriram_united sawadi
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Quote from: TBWG on Today at 01:48:05 AM
Thai police labour as mobile midwives
Police help in delivering babies when pregnant women get stuck in Bangkok's notorious traffic jams.
Maher Sattar 26 Sep 2012
i
The police midwives special unit was set up under the Royal Traffic Police Project [EPA]
Nineteen-year-old Sotika Cheunoi was late, and she was starting to worry. It was an early July morning, a little before 8 AM, and around her thousands of other teenagers were stuck in their cars on their way to school, frustrated by and contributing to Bangkok traffic at its formidable worst.
Unlike her fellow teenagers, however, Sotika was heading not to school but to the hospital. Nine months pregnant with her second child, she had gone into labour that morning and by the time her sister managed to find a taxi to pick them up from their home in a north Bangkok slum, the streets were already in the throes of school traffic.
Alarmed, Sotika and her sister soon realised they were not going to get to the hospital on time.
In a last-ditch effort, the panicking taxi driver called the police, requesting their aid in clearing the road to allow them to pass through quicker. Still, in the bumper-to-bumper gridlock, they knew they would not make it.
"I couldn't bear it anymore," Sotika recalls, her eyes widening as she revisits the experience. "There I was in the back seat of the taxi, just sitting in my underwear, trying to force the baby out."
Salvation came in the form of an unlikely saviour. Within minutes of the taxi driver's call, Mana Jokkoksung, 43, a rather portly traffic policeman with a round, friendly face arrived at the scene on his motorcycle and proceeded to deliver his standard introduction.
"My name is Mana," he said in a composed voice. "I am an officer of the Royal Thai Police. I have been trained by many hospitals to help you give birth, so please be calm and let me help you." Then he knelt down and got to work.
Roadside emergency births take place in other countries too. But Bangkok's notorious traffic jams, with expressways and interior roads alike coming to a grinding halt for hours almost every day, have forced city authorities to come up with innovative ways to deal with an unconventional problem - what to do with the increasing number of pregnant women who get stuck on their way to the hospital.
More than five million cars, pickup trucks, and motorbikes are registered in the Thai capital. In contrast, New York, another city noted for its congestion issues, had 1.9 million registered vehicles according to 2010 statistics, despite being two and a half times the size of Bangkok.
All these vehicles are crammed into Bangkok's inadequate road network. The city has a road surface area that accounts for only 8 per cent of the metropolis, compared to 20-30 per cent in most Western municipalities.
To cope with the problem, a special unit of police midwives was formed under the auspices of the Royal Traffic Police Project, which was set up in 1993 to help people stranded in traffic. It was this unit that was called into action by the traffic control hotline contacted by Sotika's taxi driver.
The officers are trained every year at Bangkok Hospital, and also receive training from Honda to drive safely, a critical element of their preparations as they frequently hit speeds of up to 150 km/h when rushing towards an emergency.
Earlier this year, the police delivered their 100th baby, and since then the tally has risen to 107. "At the beginning, people thought it was strange," says Mana. "Now they see we can actually do this."
Mana, who says he has delivered 47 of these newborns, is one of the unit's star officers.
"When I volunteered for the traffic police, I thought I'd be directing traffic. The first time [I delivered a baby] I was shaking, I was excited, scared. Scared of the blood coming out, scared of the head coming out. Even now, I wonder if I'll get there on time, if I'll find the car. I didn't know if I could do this, I wasn't confident, but after training I can now do the job of a doctor," he says.
Mana sees his own initial hesitancy in new recruits, who are at first paired with experienced officers.
"There was a case in Ratchada [a neighborhood in north Bangkok] with a pregnant woman about to give birth, where my trainee, Chalee, became so nervous he started shaking, so I had to get him to calm down."
Another rookie at the unit, Araya Pomkhai, is more serene at the prospect of being confronted by such a situation.
"I have to be calm," he says. "Otherwise, the mother will get nervous."
One factor behind Araya's phlegmatic attitude may be that he has been in a similarly harrowing scenario once already, which he thinks contributed to his superior assigning him to the midwives unit.
"Seventeen years ago I delivered my own son," Araya says.
"We were stuck in traffic. I was with my wife, my mother, and our maid. I had no idea what to do. My wife was in pain, she was screaming, but she worked at a hospital lab and was able to tell me what I needed to do.
"But my son had fluid in his throat, and I didn't have the equipment to suck it out. My wife was yelling that if it wasn't cleared our child would die. So I used my mouth to suck out the fluid myself. When he was young, everyone called our son Nong [little brother] Expressway."
According to Araya and Mana, crowds gather quickly with cellphone cameras ready in these situations, presenting police with a quandary as to how to protect the woman's privacy. The reactions of the taxi drivers are also often interesting, they say, as many of them think a birth in their car will bring them good luck.
Araya's son had to stay in the hospital for a month, as he was prone to viruses. Sotika's newborn, Cream, is also experiencing problems after her traumatic birth. Mana says giving birth in the back seat of a taxi is obviously not ideal, but acknowledges that at least a few such incidents are inevitable.
"The problem is you never know when you will go into labour. And you want company, so you want to find someone who will go with you. Sometimes the traffic is unpredictably bad, and sometimes the delivery is unpredictably quick," Mana says.
"Another important factor is expenses. The rich can go to the hospital early. The poor wait. Most of the families [whose babies I've delivered] are low-income, sometimes they are migrant workers."
Sotika lives in the Tuk Daeng [Red Building] community, a slum on the northern edges of the city, beyond the reach of Bangkok's skytrain and subway network. Her home is deep within the slum, accessible only by a narrow walkway that would be unable to accommodate two motorcycles passing each other.
Even within the slums, a hierarchy exists. A neighbour living closer to the road gives directions to Sotika's place, adding "oh, they're very poor" in a tone that manages to be both sympathetic and condescending.
Inside the one-room home, which is missing a wall, two-month-old Cream sleeps on a sheet spread out on the floor.
"Her [Cream's] skin was yellow at first, and her blood sugar is low, so she has to go for regular check-ups at the doctor," Sotika says, inadvertently explaining the origin of her daughter's nickname.
On the morning Cream was born, Sotika woke up with labor pains around 5 AM, but couldn't leave for the hospital immediately.
"I had to wait for my sister," she says. "Cream's father had just been released from prison, and he was visiting his mother after getting out.
"I had heard some stories about the police midwives service, but I had never thought it would be me. Afterwards, all my neighbors said I was famous now, they couldn't believe I was on TV."
Because he views the city's traffic problem as "not solveable", Mana urges expecting mothers to plan ahead. Sotika has a simpler solution.
"No more babies for me," she says.
TBWG buriram_united sawadi
Thai police labour as mobile midwives
"No more babies for me," she says.
Somehow I can't help thinking this is one ****ed up life!
"Nineteen-year-old Sotika Cheunoi was late, and she was starting to worry. Nine months pregnant with her second child, she had gone into labour that morning.
Her [Cream's] skin was yellow at first, and her blood sugar is low, so she has to go for regular check-ups at the doctor, Sotika says, inadvertently explaining the origin of her daughter's nickname.
Inside the one-room home, which is missing a wall, two-month-old Cream sleeps on a sheet spread out on the floor.
Cream's father had just been released from prison, and he was visiting his mother after getting out."
So we have a 19 year old with 2 kids, one jaundiced living in a slum with a criminal for a father who is not around at the birth of his child.
Great recipe for a worthwhile life!
Harsh as it may sound ~~~ Sotika, kid you shoulda went to school!
TBWG
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What the ???
Well for reasons that escape me I decided to visit the Buddha room in the house for first time in ages.
Now I am aware of Buddha days, King days, fathers day and many other days that require offerings of beer, fags and various other perishables but this was a new one on me ~~~ Mr Pastry and family!
When I asked the Boss Lady what this was all about? she said that it is to appease all the people that she might have offended in years gone by. My comment that she must have been a mean bitch in the past to need to practice such atonement did not go down well.
But what the hell it is one of the few offerings that cost me nought!
I am also under the impression that this work of art has to be left on display for one year, so ants take your time its going nowhere in a hurry!
TBWG buriram_united sawadi
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my tea leaves say you have 7 kids and she knows it! TGWM 555
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Well I hope someone is reading my literary masterpieces .....as there seems to be a distinct lack of posts encouraging me. tired2
But what the hell I'm thick skinned I'll continue anyway! so here goes. party9
Vol 9 Act 43 (take one)
Well after a few weeks of keeping my nose clean I am now in the boss ladies good books, so much so that I have now been allowed to go back out on the Honda Phantom, that should increase my range and opportunity for mischief!
But back to more mundane things, I am expecting a visit from an ex work colleague back in the UK. So I suppose some tidying up is in order, to start with I think I will sweep the drive, so where is my yard broom brought at great inconvenience and expense from the UK ( Thai brooms as far as I am concerned are about as much use as glass hammer).
What's this some insect has had it for breakfast!! see pic
Well perhaps Thai brooms have some merit after all! But I'll fix those buggers a good immersing overnight in the water pot should do the trick. Next day I am able to sweep the drive but broom is shedding bristles left right and centre, oh well, thats life.
What's next, ahh yes top up the secret fridge for said guests arrival. As all old Thai hands know it is essential to have a private stock of goodies , beer etc. as it is mandatory that every Thai visiting a fridge has to consume the contents on the spot. In my experience that is why all Thai households have a b****y great fridge that contains only bottled water and out of date medicines, pills, potions and associated medical c**p. Thais being the biggest hypocondriacs on the face of the planet.
I say secret fridge everyone knows it exists, but enters it only on pain of Buddha's wrath as I have managed to convince everyone that me and him have a secret pact regarding the wellbeing of the content's. If anyone even thinks about touching our supply of Toblerones they will suffer a particularly nasty attack of boils. So far its seems to have done the trick!!
Well we are all ready for arrival of my guest, who is visiting Thailand for the first time. I'm not worried about him as he is a seasoned traveller having spent many years in Uganda flogging cast off MOT failure tyre's to the locals. It appears that after the downfall of Big Idi (Amin) tyre's where hard to come by so he packed off container loads of UK rejects which where quickly snapped up by the grateful locals who where fed up using inflated goats bladders!
Not too sure about the goats bladders, but the locals managed to get another 30,000 miles out of our cast offs before the canvas vanished into the ether!!
So I'm not to concerned about him, but then I had not considered Suvarnaphum airport. He arrives safely courtesy of Etihad Airlines breezes through immigration and baggage reclaim and is making his way down the travellator to the lower level, it is now that the fickle hand of fate decides to intervene. He has trouble with the new fangled baggage trolley and just catches the person in front a glancing blow. No problem, however the German tourist following with a well loaded cart just can't stop the thing and catches my mate full square on the back of the ankles. Result exits airport in wheelchair straight to hospital for X-rays and emeges with one leg in plaster and on crutches!!
Now bearing in mind the boss lady won't allow me a car, getting about on a motorsai with crutches is really a no no, so off he go's by taxi to Pattaya and the last I heard is that he is getting a lot of sympathy from some friendly young ladies.
Not sure what the moral is there other than watch those baggage carts at the airport.
God .... I love Thailand
I am reading them all from the beginning....keep them coming!!!
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What the ???
Well for reasons that escape me I decided to visit the Buddha room in the house for first time in ages.
Now I am aware of Buddha days, King days, fathers day and many other days that require offerings of beer, fags and various other perishables but this was a new one on me ~~~ Mr Pastry and family!
When I asked the Boss Lady what this was all about? she said that it is to appease all the people that she might have offended in years gone by. My comment that she must have been a mean bitch in the past to need to practice such atonement did not go down well.
But what the hell it is one of the few offerings that cost me nought!
I am also under the impression that this work of art has to be left on display for one year, so ants take your time its going nowhere in a hurry!
TBWG buriram_united sawadi
OMG, this is so funny. I nearly fell of my chair laughing, only because I can relate to it so well. I know this thread has been going a while, but I look forward to many more posts. I might offer one of my own, however I am not as elequant writer as yourself TBWG.
I plan to retire in a mere 8 years but I figure I best get started with the major purchases now as to have such things like land and tractors paid for upon retirement. (Good idea?) So I say to the TW, maybe we should look for some land to buy. I want to build a modest apartment building with 3 or so "stalls" for shops below. If all goes well it should have larger living space for the manager (Me...ok who am I kidding.....it will be the wife), space for parking, 20 or so rooms, enough so that the wife has a nice income when I am gone, (which brings me to the ST rooms I learned about on here....good idea?) OK, so back to the main point....I tell the wife we should look and within hours there are photos in her email from her family who have gone out and found all of these remarkable deals on land "close to Big C." It seems all the available land is "close to Big C" and only costs about 3-5 million baht per 100 sqm. Call me crazy, but like most people these days I will need to finance the purchase (when I find one reasonably priced) and explained that to the TW. Well dont you know the only thing she knows is that giving the owner about half the agreed upon amount and paying the rest to the owner "when we have it, next year" is the way business is done. When I tried to explain modern banking, she thought I was absolutely off my rocker. It is just not done that way. So I ask where she thinks we would get about 50,000 USD to "pay the man?" I dont know was the response, "dont you have it?" Thankfully after contacting the bank in Thailand and having THEM explain modern banking to her, they said since we reside full time in America, they could not help us. At this point, I am thankful. Cash transaction later may be the best bet.
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Whilst bicycling about in the Satuk boonies admiring the charcoal remnants of sugar cane when I stumbled across a rural disaster.
Daisy a local cow was minding her own business chewing cud when she got the shock of her life (well death actually)!
Out of the blue she was nuked by several thousand volts as a power cable broke free and zapped her across the buttocks. The errant power cable then proceeded to set fire to the nearby eucalyptus trees and also some tyres that just happened to be stored nearby!
If Daisy was not deceased at this time she certainly would be after being engulfed in all the toxic rubber fumes.
Not sure what the moral of this story is, but can only say be careful where you park your cow and avoid any rubber flavoured meat that suddenly appears in the local market!
TBWG buriram_united sawadi