Buriram Expats

Buriram Province - General Category => Dating / Personals & Everything between them. => Topic started by: fwinder on April 17, 2009, 03:19:20 AM

Title: good Thai girl
Post by: fwinder on April 17, 2009, 03:19:20 AM
what do you look for in thai girl that makes her a good thai girl?
       Thought i had one once three years of meeting her decide get married, had wedding photos taken at wedding cloths shop.Spent time with family on farm nice people.
       Asked her how much should i send for wedding,  she asked for hundreds of thousands much to plan and do she says.
   I sent it ,and traveled to my wedding i thought. When i got there i asked her if everything was ready.
            I spend it all not enough for wedding need more. So what have you spent it on i asked  dont ask or we finish she said.
    I walked away.
        Now i am coming to meet another Thai girl lives in satuk. So what do i look for to find good thai girl.
             
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dave the dude on April 17, 2009, 08:39:37 AM
what do you look for in thai girl that makes her a good thai girl?
       Thought i had one once three years of meeting her decide get married, had wedding photos taken at wedding cloths shop.Spent time with family on farm nice people.
       Asked her how much should i send for wedding,  she asked for hundreds of thousands much to plan and do she says.
   I sent it ,and traveled to my wedding i thought. When i got there i asked her if everything was ready.
            I spend it all not enough for wedding need more. So what have you spent it on i asked  dont ask or we finish she said.
    I walked away.
        Now i am coming to meet another Thai girl lives in satuk. So what do i look for to find good thai girl.
             

IF YOUR NOT A TROLL
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on April 17, 2009, 09:12:37 AM
There are more horror stories from yours,believe it or not.. want to hear one?
Ok, so there is one guy spent in the villege hundrends of thousands on wedding,new car(S) and beautiful house,in the wedding he sat in the same table with the "real" thai husband of the thai lady.
They have finished the wedding and since then whenever he comes,the thai husband goes away from his house and his cars,when the farang goes,the thai husband come back.. nice? :)

Next, Thai lady with farang getting pregnant with thai chinese (white skin),the farang is so worry she is pregnant as he think it's his baby and he send money every month.
The baby comes out with white skin but not blond hair as the farang..  confused4 so....listen very good.. she paint the baby's hair to platinum-blond and send the picture to the farang..  confused5
The farang happy with his blond baby and keep sending money..  :D steamingMad
Same story,whenever he leaves Thailand she goes to her "real" house with the thai..

If it wasn't so sad and pathetic it might have been funny..  :o

Now..all stories are real. Not trying to break your spirit but open your eyes.  sawadi
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: fwinder on April 18, 2009, 01:50:14 AM
Ok admin.
                I am not broken man .But like i say traveling to satuk meet another What do i look for Thai husband round corner or boyfriend etc. Must be something in girl i can look to to see what she is like good or bad? I know she has been university and works with her farther at his business know she has had thai boyfriend but says they finish maybe maybe not how do i find out.I know this time i am not giving or sending any money.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dave the dude on April 18, 2009, 02:28:55 PM
Ok admin.
                I am not broken man .But like i say traveling to satuk meet another What do i look for Thai husband round corner or boyfriend etc. Must be something in girl i can look to to see what she is like good or bad? I know she has been university and works with her farther at his business know she has had thai boyfriend but says they finish maybe maybe not how do i find out.I know this time i am not giving or sending any money.

How do you expect total stranges to give you meaningful advice on the internet.

Learn by your own mistakes

Dave
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Khun Tony on April 24, 2009, 10:23:56 PM
Dave's right!

My ex brother in law's brother has just been screwed by a thai lady he really didn't know that well.   He met her last June 08, was married by October 08 after 3 short visits (one to two weeks each visit).  He bought a house in thailand, a new motor bike, brought her back to Aus., got her a temporary visa etc.   Went back for a holiday a couple of weeks ago, and now she wants $16,000 for a new car for the family in Thailand, otherwise she won't comeback to Australia with him.   They are due back next week and sounds like he's returning alone, as he has already moved out of the house in Thailand.   

My advice, before you make a commitment spend some time getting to know the person in Thailand, at least 3 months living together and if they show a liking for the cards etc, RUN.   After a significant amount of time living together they tend to drop their guard and you get a glimpse of the real person.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: PBarnfeather on May 07, 2009, 09:59:43 AM
OK. I guess I'm a little late getting in here. If you are looking for a 'good Thai girl' first look for a 'good person'--it worked for me.
We've been married more than two years now and she is the one who worries about spending to much money.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: TBWG on May 07, 2009, 09:00:44 PM
Ok admin.
                I am not broken man .But like i say traveling to satuk meet another What do i look for Thai husband round corner or boyfriend etc. Must be something in girl i can look to to see what she is like good or bad? I know she has been university and works with her farther at his business know she has had thai boyfriend but says they finish maybe maybe not how do i find out.I know this time i am not giving or sending any money.

Hi

If you are not a troll ..( which your name seems to suggest you are) I maybe able to help. I have been coming to Satuk for the last 9 years and spend at least half of the year here. If you can give me some clues as to your GF identity it is possible I might know the family as Satuk is a fairly small town.

If the family has a good reputation then OK if not tread carefully. What I would say is that by and large Satuk is fairly prosperous for Isaan and most people are decent. There are however bad apples everywhere in the world.


TBWG sawadi
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dave the dude on May 08, 2009, 07:22:14 AM
I think the lack of follow-up posts from OP speaks volumes  blah2

TROLL
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: rogercmr on May 08, 2009, 03:44:40 PM
Gee with so many bad storys about Thai gurls im just glad im GAY  :D
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: burilad on May 15, 2009, 02:34:32 AM
I got girl in Buriram, met in Jan. Had a great time with her and have kept in touch with her on msn since. But about 6-weeks ago she sent me an e-mail explaining to me that if i wanted to send her about 15000Bht she would be able to employ 3 or 4 people and would be able to make some good money for our future. But i had already sent her 7500Bht so she could txt me and not have to worry about money for phone. After sending her this money i still didnt seem to get any more txt then usual, so asked her why she didnt txt me as much as i had hoped. After a bit of asking she admitted to me she used the money to pay her rent as it was more important then txting. Also sent her 1500Bht to help pay rent and for repayment on pickup truck ( last month). But after much thought and asking about decided to tell her that if she was to ask me for any more money in future ( unless we get married) i would walk away and would know she was after my money NOT me, she has offered to pay me back and backed off. The trouble is i like her very much and like most guys here hsve read some bad stories about feranges gettingfingers burnt by beautiful Thai gfs and think my fingers were just starting to feel the heat. I am still going to see her in a few months time but will DEFF not be giving any money to her in future until i feel she is the right girl for me.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dave the dude on May 15, 2009, 07:27:58 AM
I got girl in Buriram, met in Jan. Had a great time with her and have kept in touch with her on msn since. But about 6-weeks ago she sent me an e-mail explaining to me that if i wanted to send her about 15000Bht she would be able to employ 3 or 4 people and would be able to make some good money for our future. But i had already sent her 7500Bht so she could txt me and not have to worry about money for phone. After sending her this money i still didnt seem to get any more txt then usual, so asked her why she didnt txt me as much as i had hoped. After a bit of asking she admitted to me she used the money to pay her rent as it was more important then txting. Also sent her 1500Bht to help pay rent and for repayment on pickup truck ( last month). But after much thought and asking about decided to tell her that if she was to ask me for any more money in future ( unless we get married) i would walk away and would know she was after my money NOT me, she has offered to pay me back and backed off. The trouble is i like her very much and like most guys here hsve read some bad stories about feranges gettingfingers burnt by beautiful Thai gfs and think my fingers were just starting to feel the heat. I am still going to see her in a few months time but will DEFF not be giving any money to her in future until i feel she is the right girl for me.

Hi
This makes me wonder if you would send money to a virtually complete stranger in your own country (even if you have 'the Hots' on her)?  confused5
She could be OK but testing you out. There is no way you can check this, as you cannot know her well enough to trust her and you are talking about marriage WTF!  confused4

Me thinks you will be in a 'bar somewhere soon, drowning your sorrows and saying ALL Thai ladies are ...........(fill in the gaps).  steamingMad steamingMad

I sincerely hope I am wrong and that you have a happy experience here in this wonderful country  party8

Dave
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Khun Tony on May 16, 2009, 08:25:29 AM
I agree with Dave, in that you don't know the lady well enough.  You need to spend more time getting to know her before you make any serious commitments such as marriage.

Whilst you are working it's difficult to get the time but you need to spend some serious time getting to know them.  After all you are talking about your future.

Anyway I hope it all works out well in the end.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on May 16, 2009, 09:08:22 AM
The precentage of mariage failure farang-thai are high in my opinion.. The mis-trust level and values differences can bring you very fast to understand it's not how you were "taught it's suppose to be", anyway I think need to be very careful with them on the trust part and the part of investing money on somebody's else's name like houses and cars.. hey you probably all have been married before so you have experience and the ability to control yourself from doing stupid investments and falling for a girl that fast.... (or not..  happy1 ).

 party13
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: burilad on May 16, 2009, 09:59:46 PM
Yes agree with you all surrender1. Think i will go visit and be on my guard. My mate has met many Thai girls on the internet and EVERY ONE OF THEM HIT HIM FOR MONEY IN THE END. Have laid down the law to mine and said not to ask for money now or in future and if she does I AM GONE FACT. But time will tell i think. O0
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: pbee on May 17, 2009, 03:01:07 PM
It is not easy to carry on a long distance relationship, especially when you are asked to send out money. I had only known my g/f for about six months,and was in UK working. She asked me for money to send her daughter to a better school. I was not sure whether to send it or not,considering the short time that I had known her. Anyway I sent the money . On my next visit we were travelling to a temple in the back of a pick-up,and her little daughter started singing an ABC song, it was priceless. She is now learning chinese as well as English. Money well spent for sure. That was nearly five happy years ago.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: roger on June 20, 2009, 12:30:28 AM
Yes agree with you all surrender1. Think i will go visit and be on my guard. My mate has met many Thai girls on the internet and EVERY ONE OF THEM HIT HIM FOR MONEY IN THE END. Have laid down the law to mine and said not to ask for money now or in future and if she does I AM GONE FACT. But time will tell i think. O0

wow as a total newbie i have found your comments very powerfull, i to seem to be on this road, but have been totaly unaware of the underlying trates, i seem to read every where about stories of bad luck and bad experiancies, and only a few possitive outcomes, i accept that many women have expectations of men being the provider the world over, but it is becoming apparent that thai women are more acustom to extracting money on short term relationships than working together for a prosperious long term future, maybe im wrong, im just trying to get an understanding of things, same old same i have been coming to thailand for the last 2 years ( 6 times ) after a disasterious devorce, have done the tourist thing, but on my last visit to pattaya met a young girl from buriram, we got on well, and i spent the last two weeks of my holiday with her, we talked about many things, she had only been in pattaya for 3 months and didnt like it, and wonted to go home to her mother and sister, and on leaving, seemed to break her heart, after a few days of being back in england i phoned her, the same story was repeated and backed up by another girl from the same bar, (who i had also talked with) she now supported the she can not go with falang any more story, a few days later we spoke again, she seemed angry, she had had an argument with the bar boss, and been told to leave, because she only drink, over the next few days we talked several times ( i phoned at random )she always seemed to be in the room she shared with her friend or eating but never at the bar, i arranged to send some money to her so that she could go back to buriram, since then we speak, as best we can, two or three times a day, and on the evening on msn, at the moment i have no reason to disbelive her, but reading ( not just in buriram expats ) but in many places on the internet ) about the down side to thai western relationships its starting to raise questions, i have spoken to her mother and sister and she has taken them to a internet cafe with web cam so that we can see each other, it all seem very lagit at the moment and i am planing to come out to buriram in december or before if possible, well guys thats my story so far, am i on the right road ? should i go with the flow ? or am i on the road to self distruction ? i think i have to at least come to buriram and see her in her own inviroment, your feed back will be apperciated many thanks roger, now i need a beer........ 
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dave the dude on June 20, 2009, 12:50:36 PM
Yes agree with you all surrender1. Think i will go visit and be on my guard. My mate has met many Thai girls on the internet and EVERY ONE OF THEM HIT HIM FOR MONEY IN THE END. Have laid down the law to mine and said not to ask for money now or in future and if she does I AM GONE FACT. But time will tell i think. O0

wow as a total newbie i have found your comments very powerfull, i to seem to be on this road, but have been totaly unaware of the underlying trates, i seem to read every where about stories of bad luck and bad experiancies, and only a few possitive outcomes, i accept that many women have expectations of men being the provider the world over, but it is becoming apparent that thai women are more acustom to extracting money on short term relationships than working together for a prosperious long term future, maybe im wrong, im just trying to get an understanding of things, same old same i have been coming to thailand for the last 2 years ( 6 times ) after a disasterious devorce, have done the tourist thing, but on my last visit to pattaya met a young girl from buriram, we got on well, and i spent the last two weeks of my holiday with her, we talked about many things, she had only been in pattaya for 3 months and didnt like it, and wonted to go home to her mother and sister, and on leaving, seemed to break her heart, after a few days of being back in england i phoned her, the same story was repeated and backed up by another girl from the same bar, (who i had also talked with) she now supported the she can not go with falang any more story, a few days later we spoke again, she seemed angry, she had had an argument with the bar boss, and been told to leave, because she only drink, over the next few days we talked several times ( i phoned at random )she always seemed to be in the room she shared with her friend or eating but never at the bar, i arranged to send some money to her so that she could go back to buriram, since then we speak, as best we can, two or three times a day, and on the evening on msn, at the moment i have no reason to disbelive her, but reading ( not just in buriram expats ) but in many places on the internet ) about the down side to thai western relationships its starting to raise questions, i have spoken to her mother and sister and she has taken them to a internet cafe with web cam so that we can see each other, it all seem very lagit at the moment and i am planing to come out to buriram in december or before if possible, well guys thats my story so far, am i on the right road ? should i go with the flow ? or am i on the road to self distruction ? i think i have to at least come to buriram and see her in her own inviroment, your feed back will be apperciated many thanks roger, now i need a beer........ 

Hi rodger

I will not post one of my smart@rse comments cos my introduction to Thailand/Thai ladies is so simular. Its hard to give advice to someone other than 'take your time and think wisely.'
I would never say don't send your lady money because I did it a bit, but I was bloody careful to double check stories when I next visited(sick Bufallo syndrome >:D). You must keep reminding yourself that Thai's think and act differently to what you may be used too and without a doubt, the number one responsibility IS FAMILY FIRST FOR EVER! Deal with it, as it can be sort of accepted by us ferangs in different ways.

Sure, you hear mainly horror stories in books/internet but there are many guys living a good life here (I believe I am BTW) but things are not given to you 'on a plate.'
Nearly every friend (& poster here) I know personally DESERVES to be having a good life as they have contribited to the Thai(& ferang) communities over here and not by just paying their way in. I have and hopefully will remain honest with my wife about what i can & cannot do and to date I am proud of what we have achieved together (her work & my money  :D)

Dave (& Sri)   
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: roger on June 20, 2009, 07:37:18 PM
Yes agree with you all surrender1. Think i will go visit and be on my guard. My mate has met many Thai girls on the internet and EVERY ONE OF THEM HIT HIM FOR MONEY IN THE END. Have laid down the law to mine and said not to ask for money now or in future and if she does I AM GONE FACT. But time will tell i think. O0

wow as a total newbie i have found your comments very powerfull, i to seem to be on this road, but have been totaly unaware of the underlying trates, i seem to read every where about stories of bad luck and bad experiancies, and only a few possitive outcomes, i accept that many women have expectations of men being the provider the world over, but it is becoming apparent that thai women are more acustom to extracting money on short term relationships than working together for a prosperious long term future, maybe im wrong, im just trying to get an understanding of things, same old same i have been coming to thailand for the last 2 years ( 6 times ) after a disasterious devorce, have done the tourist thing, but on my last visit to pattaya met a young girl from buriram, we got on well, and i spent the last two weeks of my holiday with her, we talked about many things, she had only been in pattaya for 3 months and didnt like it, and wonted to go home to her mother and sister, and on leaving, seemed to break her heart, after a few days of being back in england i phoned her, the same story was repeated and backed up by another girl from the same bar, (who i had also talked with) she now supported the she can not go with falang any more story, a few days later we spoke again, she seemed angry, she had had an argument with the bar boss, and been told to leave, because she only drink, over the next few days we talked several times ( i phoned at random )she always seemed to be in the room she shared with her friend or eating but never at the bar, i arranged to send some money to her so that she could go back to buriram, since then we speak, as best we can, two or three times a day, and on the evening on msn, at the moment i have no reason to disbelive her, but reading ( not just in buriram expats ) but in many places on the internet ) about the down side to thai western relationships its starting to raise questions, i have spoken to her mother and sister and she has taken them to a internet cafe with web cam so that we can see each other, it all seem very lagit at the moment and i am planing to come out to buriram in december or before if possible, well guys thats my story so far, am i on the right road ? should i go with the flow ? or am i on the road to self distruction ? i think i have to at least come to buriram and see her in her own inviroment, your feed back will be apperciated many thanks roger, now i need a beer........ 

Hi rodger

I will not post one of my smart@rse comments cos my introduction to Thailand/Thai ladies is so simular. Its hard to give advice to someone other than 'take your time and think wisely.'
I would never say don't send your lady money because I did it a bit, but I was bloody careful to double check stories when I next visited(sick Bufallo syndrome >:D). You must keep reminding yourself that Thai's think and act differently to what you may be used too and without a doubt, the number one responsibility IS FAMILY FIRST FOR EVER! Deal with it, as it can be sort of accepted by us ferangs in different ways.

Sure, you hear mainly horror stories in books/internet but there are many guys living a good life here (I believe I am BTW) but things are not given to you 'on a plate.'
Nearly every friend (& poster here) I know personally DESERVES to be having a good life as they have contribited to the Thai(& ferang) communities over here and not by just paying their way in. I have and hopefully will remain honest with my wife about what i can & cannot do and to date I am proud of what we have achieved together (her work & my money  :D)

Dave (& Sri)   

Yes agree with you all surrender1. Think i will go visit and be on my guard. My mate has met many Thai girls on the internet and EVERY ONE OF THEM HIT HIM FOR MONEY IN THE END. Have laid down the law to mine and said not to ask for money now or in future and if she does I AM GONE FACT. But time will tell i think. O0

wow as a total newbie i have found your comments very powerfull, i to seem to be on this road, but have been totaly unaware of the underlying trates, i seem to read every where about stories of bad luck and bad experiancies, and only a few possitive outcomes, i accept that many women have expectations of men being the provider the world over, but it is becoming apparent that thai women are more acustom to extracting money on short term relationships than working together for a prosperious long term future, maybe im wrong, im just trying to get an understanding of things, same old same i have been coming to thailand for the last 2 years ( 6 times ) after a disasterious devorce, have done the tourist thing, but on my last visit to pattaya met a young girl from buriram, we got on well, and i spent the last two weeks of my holiday with her, we talked about many things, she had only been in pattaya for 3 months and didnt like it, and wonted to go home to her mother and sister, and on leaving, seemed to break her heart, after a few days of being back in england i phoned her, the same story was repeated and backed up by another girl from the same bar, (who i had also talked with) she now supported the she can not go with falang any more story, a few days later we spoke again, she seemed angry, she had had an argument with the bar boss, and been told to leave, because she only drink, over the next few days we talked several times ( i phoned at random )she always seemed to be in the room she shared with her friend or eating but never at the bar, i arranged to send some money to her so that she could go back to buriram, since then we speak, as best we can, two or three times a day, and on the evening on msn, at the moment i have no reason to disbelive her, but reading ( not just in buriram expats ) but in many places on the internet ) about the down side to thai western relationships its starting to raise questions, i have spoken to her mother and sister and she has taken them to a internet cafe with web cam so that we can see each other, it all seem very lagit at the moment and i am planing to come out to buriram in december or before if possible, well guys thats my story so far, am i on the right road ? should i go with the flow ? or am i on the road to self distruction ? i think i have to at least come to buriram and see her in her own inviroment, your feed back will be apperciated many thanks roger, now i need a beer........ 
Thank you Dave, yes i try and let common sence prevail, she came on msn with her mama again today, i try to ask all the right questions , but all seems so ligit, she says no b/f not wont, wont me come buriram, ill keep you posted on the events weather good or bad, in the hopes it will help others who are on this road, to understand the ups and downs of having a log distance relationship, many thanks - speak soon roger & surat
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: aparasher on June 21, 2009, 09:01:08 AM
Folk,

If someone is this keen in a girl that they are more than happy to part with their money, then I would suggest to take some prelim invertigations done. There are lots of such services available like Stickman (I am sure most of you know him). Still I would ensure that demands are not unreasonable.

Like in any relationship, communication is the key and you need to tell your gf regarding your boundaries.

I wont put any smart a*#e comments about who is the boss...but you get the drift.

Cheers

AP
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: roger on June 21, 2009, 08:17:35 PM
Folk,

If someone is this keen in a girl that they are more than happy to part with their money, then I would suggest to take some prelim invertigations done. There are lots of such services available like Stickman (I am sure most of you know him). Still I would ensure that demands are not unreasonable.

Like in any relationship, communication is the key and you need to tell your gf regarding your boundaries.

I wont put any smart a*#e comments about who is the boss...but you get the drift.

Cheers

AP

confused2 confused2 Thank AP might take a look at that ( think i get your drift a kind of pi thing )  party4 roger
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: burilad on June 28, 2009, 10:20:02 PM
I  party10
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: pbee on June 30, 2009, 01:35:16 AM
Hi Roger, I have read your posts and most of the replies, you seem very unsure of your situation regarding this girl.As I see it she is trying to show you that she is gin gin (genuine).She has her mother etc for you to see when she contacts you. This is good,how else can she prove her location. You must provide for her if she has returned to the family home,she obviously went working to help support her family in the first place.This is done very often not by choice ,but by necessity .If you can not support her she must work again . For sure. If she is living at home with mum,10,000 baht per month would be an acceptable amount to send to her. This would do,until you go to her home in Dec. When you can see the situation with your own eyes,you can re access the situation. I hope your girl is not constantly under questioning about the financial side,because if she is you could change her perspective of the relationship and she could decide that you are not worth the hassle,then she might take you for a bit of money and go to work again. Trust works both ways. As for a private investigation,that is totally absurd,if I ever thought that was needed I would end the relationship immediately. It would be impossible for a stranger to stake out my wife in her village without people knowing. Believe me she would know within the hour. Issan villages are a very close knit community.£50 per week is not much to pay for your chance of a beautiful life together. If it works out well and I hope it does for you,you will be spending much more than that as many expats will tell you. If you dont try how will you ever know. character2
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dave the dude on June 30, 2009, 07:58:07 AM
Very good advice from pbee about the BOTH of you. party10
Try not copying previous threads in your posts. Its boring  ;) :D ;D
Chok Dee

Dave
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: roger on July 01, 2009, 08:36:08 PM
Hi Roger, I have read your posts and most of the replies, you seem very unsure of your situation regarding this girl.As I see it she is trying to show you that she is gin gin (genuine).She has her mother etc for you to see when she contacts you. This is good,how else can she prove her location. You must provide for her if she has returned to the family home,she obviously went working to help support her family in the first place.This is done very often not by choice ,but by necessity .If you can not support her she must work again . For sure. If she is living at home with mum,10,000 baht per month would be an acceptable amount to send to her. This would do,until you go to her home in Dec. When you can see the situation with your own eyes,you can re access the situation. I hope your girl is not constantly under questioning about the financial side,because if she is you could change her perspective of the relationship and she could decide that you are not worth the hassle,then she might take you for a bit of money and go to work again. Trust works both ways. As for a private investigation,that is totally absurd,if I ever thought that was needed I would end the relationship immediately. It would be impossible for a stranger to stake out my wife in her village without people knowing. Believe me she would know within the hour. Issan villages are a very close knit community.£50 per week is not much to pay for your chance of a beautiful life together. If it works out well and I hope it does for you,you will be spending much more than that as many expats will tell you. If you dont try how will you ever know. character2 

Hi pbee wow thanks, no my girl is not under constant questioning about money, you hit the nail right on the head, when i asked her how much to send she said "10,000 up to you " i asked her how much she give to mama she said 7000, since then i have been sending 5000 every 2 weeks, of which, she gives 3000 to the home and keeps 2000, i have said to her, your a good girl to look after mama ( trying to understand the way the family works in thailand ) yes i see the point you make about the pi and agree with you, i can imagin that that would go round like wild fire, i understand what she has done by bringing her mother and sister to the internet cafe, and yes i did take it as proof that she was being honest, i feel a lot more confident as time goes on, she is always there answers the phone at any time day or night, and tells me i can ring any time, i feel all is going well at the moment, and think the real testing ground will be when i come to buriram inb december, as another poster said, when i went to my g/fs village it made our relationship stronger, i think that this will be the same for us, but with so many negitive stories on the internet/in books/in forums, ect i have just felt a little causious about my situation.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Lourens on July 01, 2009, 09:13:52 PM
That's why I don't read the newspapers anymore if I can help it. Too much sensationalism. I have been married to my wonderful wife now for almost twelve years. I have never been happier. But make no mistake - there were and still are some times when things get tough. But that is what married life is all about. It makes things interesting. Best move I ever made love2
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: SWINDLED on July 05, 2009, 01:10:37 PM
the only way to truly measure how genuine the relationship will be is with initial chemistry...if you dont have that, what do you have?
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: roger on July 14, 2009, 05:38:22 AM
hi all, thanks for your help and reassurance, I am now feeling a lot more comfortable with things, on many occasions when talking to my g/f she will say, " when you come I show you " backed up by mama as well, and many " I not lie you " "can see can see everything" so apparently I am to go and stay at there house. (no mention of any farther yet and im not sure if I should ask ) ? would that be classed as rude )
yes at the moment i feel things are running smoothly, and am looking forward to coming over to buriram asap.
could anyone please tell me if there are any web sites about non dindaeng/lam nangrong; the only thing I can find is about the dam, g/f tells me very beautiful, she goes there often, but I would like to see a bit more about life there, again thanks for your help  party4 
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: burilad on August 28, 2009, 09:28:27 PM
HI ALL, Help me out here guys and tell me if i am getting taken for a big ride or not ok. I met nice a thai girl in Buriram at a meal in Jan and we got on great. She works for herself selling to farms and seems to work hard and long hours. I just been back to spend some time with her in july and again we got on great again although paying for her mates every time we met them did piss me off a bit . I do find it hard that her english is not that good and it can be a bit hard going sometimes. But that said i like her very much. I have done all the bargirl stuff in the past and wanted to find a girl to have a good future with and one that i could trust. The problem is she is now hitting on at me about money all the time and feels i should look after and take care of her,that means only one thing as you now (money). Since Jan i have sent her £450 to help her pay her rent and for her pickup payment she said she could not pay. I also paid for every thing when we were together and travel. NOW every time we talk on msn the subject of money comes up and she kicks of like mad. When i ask her how much she thinks i should send her all i get is HOW MUCH YOU THINK I WORTH (GOOD ANSWER). I don't really want to get in to a situation where i got send money to her on a reguler bases just to stay being my girlfriend. But know these thai girls expect it from you in some way.We also spoke of marriage and she has told me she had been married before but he messed her about with other girls. She tells me he paid her family 200,000TBT plus gold bars and would expect me to do same ( although she did'nt say that in so many words) for her to marry me. THIS ALL PISSES ME OFF A BIT AS THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT MONEY NOW and not love and i feel we are drifting apart over this issue. I told her if we marry and she comes here i will take care of her ALL, but she don't see it that way, more like i am your girlfriend take care of me and when you want marry me YOU GOT PAY FOR ME. Please please HELP as i find this all hard to get my head around this Thia culture ways. Am i expected to pay and if so pay what ? or is she trying it on with me HELP!
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on August 28, 2009, 09:58:10 PM
Hi,

First read this one: http://www.buriramexpats.com/thai-wedding/

Look at the gallery page,read some background on "thai wedding" as well + Pictures:

http://www.buriramexpats.com/gallery/


Now,personal view of me,
We,the foreigners,not used to live and act as it's here in Asia and particularly in Thailand, we feels like we want a girlfriend as in the west (wild west?!  confused5) and should not exchange money4love..
BUT  confused4
Not talkign about your girl (!), but I hope it's clear for you that if you won't support your typical Thai lady,in Thai means it mean you not care and not "take care" so she will have to find another way of living like you can see in popular tourist places like Pattaya,Bangkok and so on, I assume it's not strange for you to understand it.
You have to think and most important to FEEL her heart and see the actions of your mate to know what's in her heart and this thing only you can say by your instincts only.

Important points to think about:

How old are you?How old is she?
Where she lives?Village or in the City?
How wealthy is her family?
You say she have a job,Does she make enough for living by herself? (mostly the answer is no).
How/Where did you met her?

Before any serious move you have to slow down and recalculate your moves and action with any woman anywhere in the world.
Mariage is a serious thing and you have to consider it as well, sometimes mariage in Thailand taken not serious because the culture and environment..

Most importantly,talk to her straight on these issues and try to get straight answers and not go around this subject as many ladies try to do.. (We call it Bullshit....  surrender1 ).

Hope I helped a bit,keep update us,we'll try to help.....  sawadi
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: burilad on August 28, 2009, 10:24:13 PM
Shes 29 and i am 47. She works hard lives and works in Buriram but family have a small bussiness in Roi et. She seems to spend alot of her time there but i have been to her flat and it's very basic and she uses it as a store also. She just told me that they had big storms last night and she forgot to unplug her computer and now it is wipe out ( maybe a ploy to make me miss her more). The hardest part is what to pay and am i paying for love or not.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: burilad on August 29, 2009, 04:59:04 PM
Any body know of a good P.I agency in Buriram as i think i will get a check done on my girl. I wonder what type of info these guys cn come up with about past and present lifestyle and also if she got any money problems etc. Imhave been quoted £175 from one agency in Pattaya but i not sure if they can get much info being so far away.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: 3100034 on September 08, 2009, 08:06:11 AM
The best advise i have been ever given by a Thai and that was in one of the Rainbows in Nana plaza in BKK topless thong dancing woman was this and belive this one!!!!!


She said quote Spend nothing on her check her for 4 years if all ok Marry Her.....i am very happy to have met that woman SINCERE

one in 65 million  but i am still to stupid to follow it through... surrender1


P.S. is it possible to get this web site up dated because it looks like Farang are lazyier than Thai some things are over 9 months out of date... make all of us loose face and look stupid
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: burilad on October 04, 2009, 04:49:17 PM
just to let you knows guys i have now finished with my girlfriend as she started hitting me for money BIG TIME. I am pretty gutted about it as i really liked her. I have known her since Jan and met her only twice. On my last visit in july i spent 3 weeks with her But found talking wirh her really hard and in all honesty bacame bored with it all by the end of my trip. Any way i love Buriram and hope to visit again soon one day once i get over her. I think in future i will wait and take things more slowly if i get to meet the right girl again. She wanted me to start giving her money as she said she was my girlfriend and i should look after her. When i asked her how much i got the answer HOW MUCH YOU THINK I WORTH That told me it was time to bail out FAST.I LIKED HER VERY MUCH AND THINK I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HER But money became a big subject with her. The best bit is she managed to get a new boyfriend within 2 weeks Same age same position i am in more or less So tell me IS THAT LOVE ?
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: TBWG on October 04, 2009, 05:24:36 PM
just to let you knows guys i have now finished with my girlfriend as she started hitting me for money BIG TIME. I am pretty gutted about it as i really liked her. I have known her since Jan and met her only twice. On my last visit in july i spent 3 weeks with her But found talking wirh her really hard and in all honesty bacame bored with it all by the end of my trip. Any way i love Buriram and hope to visit again soon one day once i get over her. I think in future i will wait and take things more slowly if i get to meet the right girl again. She wanted me to start giving her money as she said she was my girlfriend and i should look after her. When i asked her how much i got the answer HOW MUCH YOU THINK I WORTH That told me it was time to bail out FAST.I LIKED HER VERY MUCH AND THINK I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HER But money became a big subject with her. The best bit is she managed to get a new boyfriend within 2 weeks Same age same position i am in more or less So tell me IS THAT LOVE ?

Hi

Well a lesson learned without too much harm.   But being looked after is very much a Thai trait!

TBWG sawadi
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on October 04, 2009, 05:59:04 PM
just to let you knows guys i have now finished with my girlfriend as she started hitting me for money BIG TIME. I am pretty gutted about it as i really liked her. I have known her since Jan and met her only twice. On my last visit in july i spent 3 weeks with her But found talking wirh her really hard and in all honesty bacame bored with it all by the end of my trip. Any way i love Buriram and hope to visit again soon one day once i get over her. I think in future i will wait and take things more slowly if i get to meet the right girl again. She wanted me to start giving her money as she said she was my girlfriend and i should look after her. When i asked her how much i got the answer HOW MUCH YOU THINK I WORTH That told me it was time to bail out FAST.I LIKED HER VERY MUCH AND THINK I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HER But money became a big subject with her. The best bit is she managed to get a new boyfriend within 2 weeks Same age same position i am in more or less So tell me IS THAT LOVE ?

Hi

Well a lesson learned without too much harm.   But being looked after is very much a Thai trait!

TBWG sawadi

The question is; will your next girl will be from Buriram ?! confused4

One thing is for sure, Once you go Bum (Buriram) you never go Back.  :D

Now seriously, I don't know the full story but TBWG right, if you want to have a Thai lady you should accept (each person to his limits) that it comes with the "take care" Thai philosophy.
character5
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: 3100034 on October 04, 2009, 11:40:24 PM
just to let you knows guys i have now finished with my girlfriend as she started hitting me for money BIG TIME. I am pretty gutted about it as i really liked her. I have known her since Jan and met her only twice. On my last visit in july i spent 3 weeks with her But found talking wirh her really hard and in all honesty bacame bored with it all by the end of my trip. Any way i love Buriram and hope to visit again soon one day once i get over her. I think in future i will wait and take things more slowly if i get to meet the right girl again. She wanted me to start giving her money as she said she was my girlfriend and i should look after her. When i asked her how much i got the answer HOW MUCH YOU THINK I WORTH That told me it was time to bail out FAST.I LIKED HER VERY MUCH AND THINK I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HER But money became a big subject with her. The best bit is she managed to get a new boyfriend within 2 weeks Same age same position i am in more or less So tell me IS THAT LOVE ?

Hi

Well a lesson learned without too much harm.   But being looked after is very much a Thai trait!

TBWG sawadi



The question is; will your next girl will be from Buriram ?! confused4

One thing is for sure, Once you go Bum (Buriram) you never go Back.  :D

Now seriously, I don't know the full story but TBWG right, if you want to have a Thai lady you should accept (each person to his limits) that it comes with the "take care" Thai philosophy.
character5

Funny Thai traditions say that all good thai people take care feelings of others  ashamed1...       I am still waitng to meet that woman if she is not married allready......A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK!
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dave the dude on October 05, 2009, 09:28:56 AM
One thing is for sure, Once you go Bum (Buriram) you never go Back.  :D


That reminds me of the phrase......

Once you had an Asian, you will never want another Caucasian  :D jumping1 love1 love3
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: lahansai on October 05, 2009, 06:43:27 PM
One thing is for sure, Once you go Bum (Buriram) you never go Back.  :D


That reminds me of the phrase......

Once you had an Asian, you will never want another Caucasian  :D jumping1 love1 love3

Depand on the size. you know hey.  :D
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: tonypace01 on November 16, 2009, 06:23:05 PM
Asian or Cauc-Asian. Been there, done both. Marriages, affairs... etc. Now I treat my relationships like I treat my homes. Only rent. Easier to leave, fewer regrets; and in the long term, far, far less expensive.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: freshy on October 12, 2010, 04:56:00 PM
Everybody needs money for living, even a couple that have real love is still need money for living. I'm curious that ..
Farang ladies never ask money from their husband or boyfriend?
Farang has spend less money with "Farang ladies" than "Thai ladies"? confused1
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Dave the Dude on October 12, 2010, 08:45:43 PM
Everybody needs money for living, even a couple that have real love is still need money for living. I'm curious that ..
Farang ladies never ask money from their husband or boyfriend?
Farang has spend less money with "Farang ladies" than "Thai ladies"? confused1

Thats an interesting question, Freshy and I don't know were to start.

It is far more common in the west for the female half of a family, to work full time and contribute as much (& sometimes more) than the male. They work as a team and everything
goes ' into one family pot' as it were. That has some good aspects and some bad ones. It can lead to power struggles and also impact on the welfare of any children who need looking after.
If you are then thinking of single man and women, then sure, a man may take the lead and impress a female lady, buying her meals.gifts.drinks but many many ladies wish to be equal and sometimes insist on 'paying their own share.'

So to answer your two questions...

1) No, but sometimes
2) Yes.

But everyone and every relationship is different from another. 
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: maraudingscot on October 12, 2010, 09:33:13 PM
 ashamed1

OK yes agree that seems to be the Thai "love and look after" seemed to be combined, but (and I am sure I maybe shot down in flames here) chairhit

It is this concept that all Farangs are very rich! The cost of living, and I can only speak for here in Sunny Britain, is expensive, so I guess it is all relevant wages are high but then again so is essentials to live on, not to mention taxes  stop1

My girlfriend asked how much I earned the other day, when I told her she became very excited giggle, but I could not get across to her that we pay taxes on this, then mortgage, electricity, gas, poll tax (yeah I know, its called community charge or something else [bloody monopoly S**t]  :o ), cost of petrol, insurances (house& contents, car etc etc) TV licence (and that is a total waste, bloody repeats and soap operas! WTF!), telephone bills, and then food. thats going through the roof at moment. Oh and if you have anything left you save up for your luxuries (thailandflag), so you see once its compared like for like there is notmuch differences.

Thats why you get many many farangs retire to Thailand as they get the income from pensions etc etc and  it goes further in Thailand ! winge winge winge newsleeping

ops sorry soapbox now put away.
what was the topic again! whistle
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: freshy on October 12, 2010, 10:27:28 PM
Everybody needs money for living, even a couple that have real love is still need money for living. I'm curious that ..
Farang ladies never ask money from their husband or boyfriend?
Farang has spend less money with "Farang ladies" than "Thai ladies"? confused1
Just want to express one of my opinion,
A couple"Thai with Thai" both of them are working and combine the salary together to pay the bills and the remaining is to spend together, which it's similar with Farang couple.

Many Thai people understand that Farang countries are more developed countries, which there are better quality of life, have better chances to make better money than in Thailand and the money is more valuable when used in Thailand ( this is the opinion of most of Thai people about Farang ).

So Thai lady who have farang husband she would like to have a better life, more comfortable life, so she asking money from her husband but it's doesn't always mean that she does not love her husband.

Don't you want your wife to have comfortable life when you can do it?
Do not think about the equal as a farang countries can make better money and it's big value in Thailand than your wife's income in thailand.
So it's not equal as a couple of farang with farang.. confused1 giggle
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: maraudingscot on October 12, 2010, 11:49:03 PM
 oldmanwithstick

well sort of agree with you freshy, BUT its the ok

you buy me house,  sawadi

you buy me car  sawadi

you buy me motorbike, sawadi   biggreen

thing you hear from a lot of Thai girls, that scares a lot of farangs away, Yeah sure want to have a house with your faen (wife) and have a car/motorbike, when any couple sets out this (90% anyway) want to have to have a life together, The big worry thing for us farangs is that we can not own land in Thailand, unless you go through various requirements, so this puts us at a great disadvantage. If we buy a house (build) its in the wifes name, hey cool now I have house no need smelly falang stop1
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Dave the Dude on October 13, 2010, 06:08:59 AM
I agree with everything said but many aspects are different here and its not too suprising really as we are all only visitors and no more!
Scottie is right many Thai's just think of big wages but not big,big expenses in the west.

That said, I am very happy to be in Thailand with Thai people and hope this discussion remains as polite as it is, to this point.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: maraudingscot on October 14, 2010, 01:14:45 AM
 blinkbar

Now here is the really worrying bit (well for me) ???

I had a discussion, close to the beginning of my relationship with my g/f, about a year ago! and the above things were discussed and not mentioned in detail again, just the odd reference to them.


 ashamed1 well today! what does she bring up in the discussion! strueth   exactly, (yes exactly) what was/ has been said above, about Farang worrying about losing house etc etc etc. She said her mama talked today about it? helpsos confused4

So now I am thinking that maybe mama has a connection on here! 2guys


That said, I am very happy to be in Thailand with Thai people and hope this discussion remains as polite as it is, to this point.


 congrats  Totally agree with DtD and that is one of the things I am working towards, finding a way to go to thailand and live there, either with enough money from back home or enough to start with and get work or something when there. ???
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Dave the Dude on October 14, 2010, 06:38:06 AM
congrats  Totally agree with DtD and that is one of the things I am working towards, finding a way to go to thailand and live there, either with enough money from back home or enough to start with and get work or something when there. ???

Maybe you should start another fred about how you can get out here, MS?

Tell the mama that you can place a Usufruct(like lease) on the house (but not land) and that will make it yours 100% and virtually impossible for them to sell. Also if married, prepare a will for wife leaving her estate to YOU, that way it circumvents crappy Thai inheritance laws that give husband sweet F.A. and family everything.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on October 14, 2010, 09:41:29 AM
congrats  Totally agree with DtD and that is one of the things I am working towards, finding a way to go to thailand and live there, either with enough money from back home or enough to start with and get work or something when there. ???

Maybe you should start another thread about how you can get out here, MS?

Tell the mama that you can place a Usufruct(like lease) on the house (but not land) and that will make it yours 100% and virtually impossible for them to sell. Also if married, prepare a will for wife leaving her estate to YOU, that way it circumvents crappy Thai inheritance laws that give husband sweet F.A. and family everything.

Good advice, the usufruct contract is a good way to accomplish legal ownership on the house (but not the land), preparing a will for the wife leaving the house to you is also very important to avoid arguments with her family side if anything happen.

but lets be reasonable, Would you live in your girlfriend's village if you will separate? I don't think so.
My advice is if you decide to build in the VILLAGE, build a modest but functional house, don't go over the top with specs of the house.
This way you get a decent house for reasonable price and not worrying too much to lose it if anything happen (or at least less worry).

That said, I truly think you should think again if you are ready to build a house in your wife's village yet, as you seem to have doubts about her intentions.

sawadi
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: fox on October 15, 2010, 10:29:30 AM
why would you want to live in the village at all??
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Starman on October 15, 2010, 11:10:44 AM
why would you want to live in the village at all??

Please clarify your thoughts.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: garytaffy on October 16, 2010, 04:28:17 AM
What's wrong with village life? I can only see advantages............peace and tranquility and a short commute the facilities in town. I guess its's a case of horses for courses punk redman
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on October 16, 2010, 08:27:59 AM
why would you want to live in the village at all??
Since moving to this village 5 years ago ,I asked myself why didn't I do it 10 years earler.

Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on October 16, 2010, 08:30:51 AM
why would you want to live in the village at all??

Please clarify your thoughts.
I guess Fox has got a bad dose of 'Chrome Pole 'Syndrome
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: fox on October 17, 2010, 07:29:55 PM
why would you want to live in the village at all??

Please clarify your thoughts.

I guess not everything is for anyone, different people different opinion.
I think village is great for a short visit but not as way of life, not for me.
I like shopping malls,entertainment and all basic and not so basic things to be available around me.
I am coming from the city in my own country so to live in the village is just way too much for me.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Dave the Dude on October 18, 2010, 09:02:54 AM
I guess not everything is for anyone, different people different opinion.
I think village is great for a short visit but not as way of life, not for me.
I like shopping malls,entertainment and all basic and not so basic things to be available around me.
I am coming from the city in my own country so to live in the village is just way too much for me.


I can understand that, but if you are here fulltime, you make things as you like it, within your home. Sure you cannot stop some of the village 'attractions' like 6am announcements through the speakers/chickens making a racket but overall its safer & friendlier, I think. With less traffic than in the west, large malls, entertainment is only a few hours away.

BTW, I too, came from a fairly busy city called London  whistle
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on October 18, 2010, 09:54:45 AM
why would you want to live in the village at all??

Please clarify your thoughts.

I guess not everything is for anyone, different people different opinion.
I think village is great for a short visit but not as way of life, not for me.
I like shopping malls,entertainment and all basic and not so basic things to be available around me.
I am coming from the city in my own country so to live in the village is just way too much for me.
You will have a very different picture by the time you are 50 or have lived over here for 5 years!!

Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: freshy on October 18, 2010, 03:14:36 PM
More important than a place to live, is to have the person who I love be beside me with understanding. love6 giggle
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: fox on October 19, 2010, 10:10:34 PM
I guess you all right but need to live permanently here to see how things are here, I love Bangkok but than again, I wouldn't consider actually living there so Buriram is an option, its just not in the village, that's all I'm saying.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: maraudingscot on October 20, 2010, 01:06:29 AM
More important than a place to live, is to have the person who I love be beside me with understanding. love6 giggle

understanding works both ways! you cannot expect a farang to be like a thai!
We try and understand but it should be a two way thing!
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Hans on November 03, 2010, 03:44:05 AM
I know now, i am not alone about sending some money to my thai girl. I also know her life is not easy and it hurts me alot.
She never been asking for some money from me, I always have to push on her for get an ok for send her money every month
I been sending her alot of money and i know she is careful with the money and work alot for help her family.
I trust my girl and it makes me feel good.
I am sure my girl is a "good thai girl" love dont comes from money
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: John the Traveller on July 21, 2011, 02:53:32 PM
I thought I had a good Thai girl but after a year it has just fallen over. I followed the advice in this forum from many posters too numerous to mention. The foremost advice was to " never invest money in Thailand that you cant afford to lose" I followed that to the letter. I have also followed other advice freely given in this forum. In short I was not wealthy enough for her. Elements of her family are very disappointed with her as they felt I was a " good guy". I am now receiving serious threats from her. She returned from a trip to my country to marry a man she has known less than 6 months. Strangely enough he is a country man of mine. I feel sorry for him. She did however offer me a deal for "visiting rights" behind his back. An offer I walked away from very quickly as you can imagine.
The purpose of this post is not to gather comments of sympathy. But to reinforce the value of the members knowledge and experience. Thank you Almog for an excellent site and thank you all expat posters to the site. Your wisdom has saved my bacon!!!
Best regards,
John The Traveller
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on July 21, 2011, 03:54:38 PM
Thank you john and I'm very sorry to hear about your experience with the girl but I guess its like this in life, at least you were out with scratches only, some lose fortune on mistakes like this, our advice is always to be caution and as you said, don't spend more than you can afford to lose (walk away).
Not all Thai ladies are like this and some of them are honest and modest with their request.
What a girl wants? What a man needs? winkboy icon_heart

I am very happy the forum members advices helped. buriramsmiley

What a girl wants- Christina Aguilera (with lyrics) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJmq3xpIsZ8#)
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: John the Traveller on July 21, 2011, 04:16:05 PM
Thank you again for the site Almog. I appreciate your comments.
I hope your attempt to return to Israel is successfull. Eretz Israel (I hope that is correct  love)

Regards
John
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on July 21, 2011, 04:20:48 PM
Thank you again for the site Almog. I appreciate your comments.
I hope your attempt to return to Israel is successfull. Eretz Israel (I hope that is correct  love)

Regards
John
Correct. :)
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Happylarry on July 21, 2011, 04:54:15 PM
Thought I was indeed "Happy" but from what I have been hearing from my foreign neighbours, and seen for myself  I am left being not so sure.
 
I believe my girl to be a good one (don't we all) - or at least I did until I heard a few horror stories  and saw things with my own eyes which have set me wondering.
 
Perhaps I can ask whether these things are the exception or the norm.
 
1) Houses being built by the girls family, where prices are padded, and the finished price is around twice the realistic cost, with the family all ending up with new houses too
 
2 Many girls having boyfriends in the villages with whom they stay when the foreigner leaves the country, Both living happily on the money sent monthly  whilst boyfriend works hard to save up for his next visit.
 
3 Girls drifting back to their bars in Pattaya or Bangkok, whilst telling boyfriends they are home with the family waiting for his return.
 
 
If true, what can I do to avoid being a victim?
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: John the Traveller on July 21, 2011, 04:57:05 PM
Almog your attention to detail is astonishing......"L'Chaim!"
John T  love5
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on July 21, 2011, 05:11:51 PM
I thought I had a good Thai girl but after a year it has just fallen over. I followed the advice in this forum from many posters too numerous to mention. The foremost advice was to " never invest money in Thailand that you cant afford to lose" I followed that to the letter. I have also followed other advice freely given in this forum. In short I was not wealthy enough for her. Elements of her family are very disappointed with her as they felt I was a " good guy". I am now receiving serious threats from her. She returned from a trip to my country to marry a man she has known less than 6 months. Strangely enough he is a country man of mine. I feel sorry for him. She did however offer me a deal for "visiting rights" behind his back. An offer I walked away from very quickly as you can imagine.
The purpose of this post is not to gather comments of sympathy. But to reinforce the value of the members knowledge and experience. Thank you Almog for an excellent site and thank you all expat posters to the site. Your wisdom has saved my bacon!!!
Best regards,
John The Traveller

Very sorry to hear it didn't work out John.  No matter what anyone says, it's always a bit of a lottery in situations like ours.
Has it turned you off the idea of Thai partner totally ?
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: John the Traveller on July 21, 2011, 05:18:39 PM
No Paddy it hasn't. I love the area and the people.
I think the work I did will stand me in good stead with most of the people in the village. There are, however, some exceptions.
Cheers,
John
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Vombatus on July 21, 2011, 05:27:56 PM
Thought I was indeed "Happy" but from what I have been hearing from my foreign neighbours, and seen for myself  I am left being not so sure.
 
I believe my girl to be a good one (don't we all) - or at least I did until I heard a few horror stories  and saw things with my own eyes which have set me wondering.
 
Perhaps I can ask whether these things are the exception or the norm.
 
1) Houses being built by the girls family, where prices are padded, and the finished price is around twice the realistic cost, with the family all ending up with new houses too
 
2 Many girls having boyfriends in the villages with whom they stay when the foreigner leaves the country, Both living happily on the money sent monthly  whilst boyfriend works hard to save up for his next visit.
 
3 Girls drifting back to their bars in Pattaya or Bangkok, whilst telling boyfriends they are home with the family waiting for his return.
 
 
If true, what can I do to avoid being a victim?

At Coffee Corner I get to hear a number of 'horror stories'.

Having spent 7m baht building a house (real cost probably 50% of that) one Falang was told by his G/F of 6 years to F*  Off. He was devasted and he doted on their 18 month old child. He was also the only person in the village who did not know that his G/F's ex-husband was hopping into her bed before he had reached the airport for his trips home.

It is sound advice that says -   test your G/F out at every opportunity (for finance and fidelity) and don't put money into Thailand that you are not prepared to leave in Thailand.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 21, 2011, 05:32:27 PM
After John the Traveller's tale of woe, which in my experience is not a rarity, Happylarry's questions above are all too relevant. I believe"private eyes" in Pattaya do good business
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Vombatus on July 21, 2011, 05:48:45 PM
After John the Traveller's tale of woe, which in my experience is not a rarity, Happylarry's questions above are all too relevant. I believe"private eyes" in Pattaya do good business

A 'Private Eye' is OK but I see two issue with that:-

1. A 'local eye' is much better. These things are going under the noses of everyone and nobody is letting the cuckolded victim know(very difficult to do!).

2. The cuckold is usually loved up and wearing rose-tinted glasses - again, quite normal.

My advice remains  BE VIGILANT and keep at least an 'open mind' about the possibility that something MIGHT be going on with your 'good girl'.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on July 21, 2011, 05:53:14 PM
Thought I was indeed "Happy" but from what I have been hearing from my foreign neighbours, and seen for myself  I am left being not so sure.
 
I believe my girl to be a good one (don't we all) - or at least I did until I heard a few horror stories  and saw things with my own eyes which have set me wondering.
 
Perhaps I can ask whether these things are the exception or the norm.
 
1) Houses being built by the girls family, where prices are padded, and the finished price is around twice the realistic cost, with the family all ending up with new houses too
 
2 Many girls having boyfriends in the villages with whom they stay when the foreigner leaves the country, Both living happily on the money sent monthly  whilst boyfriend works hard to save up for his next visit.
 
3 Girls drifting back to their bars in Pattaya or Bangkok, whilst telling boyfriends they are home with the family waiting for his return.
 
 
If true, what can I do to avoid being a victim?

Don't panic yet, maybe she's genuine.
1. yes, happens a lot.  But the members on this forum have all been there before so they can give you a guide as to going rates, etc.  But sometime this 'overspend' is the family showing off (your wealth) in the village rather than trying to rob you.
2. yes happens all the time.  Keep an eye out for 'brothers' and 'cousins' hanging around when you're in Buriram.  Learn some basic Thai and keep your ears open.  Pay a 'surprise' visit to Buriram, If she is not happily surprised, ask yourself why.  Get dropped off outside the door and check (sneakily) if the 'Brother' or 'Cousin' clothes are in her room.
3. learn some Thai, when you phone her ask to say 'Sawadee' to her parents as a sign of respect.  If she is not in the village, she can't pass them the phone.  And again, the surprise visit.  In general its a good idea to try to get speaking to her family a little

Best of luck
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 21, 2011, 05:55:40 PM
In my early days in Pattaya 25 years ago, I used to read farangs letters to the bar girls, and if they contained money, I would (at their request) write a reply asking for more money for all the still current reasons (mama sick, buffalo sick etc). There were of course no e-mails then. It was lucrative business for me as I mostly was paid "in kind"

During the years between finishing with my first Thai wife, and meeting my current wife 13 years ago, I had a number of girlfriend s, one of whom I lived with for 10 months and another for 6 months. Both of those I subsequently found out were receiving monthly sponsors payments!

With far more sponsors around today than then, I imagine many girls have a number of paying boyfriends feeding their village lifestyle.

Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on July 21, 2011, 06:00:54 PM
After John the Traveller's tale of woe, which in my experience is not a rarity, Happylarry's questions above are all too relevant. I believe"private eyes" in Pattaya do good business

But Pattaya is not Buriram.  In an Isaan Village, where most families are inter-related a Private Eye would get spotted in seconds.  this could cause trouble where there wasn't any trouble before.
BTW watched Butteryfly man last night, it showed the good, the bad and the ugly of Expats in Thailand.  It would be a good guide for loved-up Farang traveling to Thailand.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Happylarry on July 21, 2011, 06:01:58 PM
Thought I was indeed "Happy" but from what I have been hearing from my foreign neighbours, and seen for myself  I am left being not so sure.
 
I believe my girl to be a good one (don't we all) - or at least I did until I heard a few horror stories  and saw things with my own eyes which have set me wondering.
 
Perhaps I can ask whether these things are the exception or the norm.
 
1) Houses being built by the girls family, where prices are padded, and the finished price is around twice the realistic cost, with the family all ending up with new houses too
 
2 Many girls having boyfriends in the villages with whom they stay when the foreigner leaves the country, Both living happily on the money sent monthly  whilst boyfriend works hard to save up for his next visit.
 
3 Girls drifting back to their bars in Pattaya or Bangkok, whilst telling boyfriends they are home with the family waiting for his return.
 
 
If true, what can I do to avoid being a victim?

Don't panic yet, maybe she's genuine.
1. yes, happens a lot.  But the members on this forum have all been there before so they can give you a guide as to going rates, etc.  But sometime this 'overspend' is the family showing off (your wealth) in the village rather than trying to rob you.
2. yes happens all the time.  Keep an eye out for 'brothers' and 'cousins' hanging around when you're in Buriram.  Learn some basic Thai and keep your ears open.  Pay a 'surprise' visit to Buriram, If she is not happily surprised, ask yourself why.  Get dropped off outside the door and check (sneakily) if the 'Brother' or 'Cousin' clothes are in her room.
3. learn some Thai, when you phone her ask to say 'Sawadee' to her parents as a sign of respect.  If she is not in the village, she can't pass them the phone.  And again, the surprise visit.  In general its a good idea to try to get speaking to her family a little

Best of luck


I like the surprise visit idea - I really hadn't thought about that.

It sounds 'disrespectful' to do something like that, but I do want to be sure that the girl I want to spend the rest of life with is faithful. Is that an unreasonable thing to expect ?
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on July 21, 2011, 06:11:30 PM
Why 'disrepectful'. 
Remember, you are not checking up on her, you are paying your girlfriend a surprise visit because you miss her so much.  Saying it that way, makes it sound sweet.  And if you do pay her a surprise visit and find her with out something you don't like, then trust me you won't give a f@#k about any disrepect to her then.

I paid that visit, Wife (then GF) was delighted.  She got huge bragging rights around the village about her farang boyfriend that couldn't stay away and missed her so much he jumped on a flight at the spur of the moment.
Some years later, I told her my other motive for the trip.  She surprised me by saying 'that was a clever idea because a lot of ladies are joking farangs.'

You can never figure women out ... never mnd Thai women.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Vombatus on July 21, 2011, 06:11:58 PM
After John the Traveller's tale of woe, which in my experience is not a rarity, Happylarry's questions above are all too relevant. I believe"private eyes" in Pattaya do good business

But Pattaya is not Buriram.  In an Isaan Village, where most families are inter-related a Private Eye would get spotted in seconds.  this could cause trouble where there wasn't any trouble before.
BTW watched Butteryfly man last night, it showed the good, the bad and the ugly of Expats in Thailand.  It would be a good guide for loved-up Farang traveling to Thailand.

i think Butterfly Man was a bit of harmless romantic drivel. Nice scenes of Thailand though. It was a a few years ago that I saw it but my recollection was that it was not that representative of the real Thailand - I may need to see it again to get a second opinion.

I think the 'new'  Falang is usually concerned about his Pattaya G/F cavorting with other Farangs. That, as we know, is simply a loss of turn. Far more dangerous for the long-term relationship is those situations where there is a long-term Thai B/F and the girl is cynically setting out to milk the Falang of his life savings.

This is also slightly different to a girl who is based in Suffolk who receives a total of 90,000 Baht per month from 2 B/F's and a husband - none of whom are aware of the existence of the others. A bit like the United Nations really - UK husband, Japanese and Danish B/F's !
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Vombatus on July 21, 2011, 06:24:10 PM
Why 'disrepectful'. 
Remember, you are not checking up on her, you are paying your girlfriend a surprise visit because you miss her so much.  Saying it that way, makes it sound sweet.  And if you do pay her a surprise visit and find her with out something you don't like, then trust me you won't give a f@#k about any disrepect to her then.

I paid that visit, Wife (then GF) was delighted.  She got huge bragging rights around the village about her farang boyfriend that couldn't stay away and missed her so much he jumped on a flight at the spur of the moment.
Some years later, I told her my other motive for the trip.  She surprised me by saying 'that was a clever idea because a lot of ladies are joking farangs.'

You can never figure women out ... never mnd Thai women.


Paddyram - "Bagwan"  - you have a sweet mouth - and a charming way with words ! party4
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Happylarry on July 21, 2011, 06:28:46 PM
Why 'disrepectful'. 
Remember, you are not checking up on her, you are paying your girlfriend a surprise visit because you miss her so much.  Saying it that way, makes it sound sweet.  And if you do pay her a surprise visit and find her with out something you don't like, then trust me you won't give a f@#k about any disrepect to her then.

I paid that visit, Wife (then GF) was delighted.  She got huge bragging rights around the village about her farang boyfriend that couldn't stay away and missed her so much he jumped on a flight at the spur of the moment.
Some years later, I told her my other motive for the trip.  She surprised me by saying 'that was a clever idea because a lot of ladies are joking farangs.'

You can never figure women out ... never mnd Thai women.

Thanks.

This is so close to truth. I miss my girl dreadfully and would hop on a plane tomorrow if I could.

thinking about it if I do make a surprise visit it is something that I would really like to do. I can also see that she would be made up if I arrived when she wasn't expecting me.

If something is wrong I would rather find out now before I have sold my house in England and build a new on my girls land.

Time to think out my travel plans.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on July 21, 2011, 07:16:14 PM
I wonder if you could help me with question I've had for a while.
Maybe some of you have heard this story before:
In my wife's village they heard of an Irish man years ago in buriram, who bull-dozed his girlfriends house when she ended her relationship.  she told him that her 'Cousin' was indeed her Thai husband and they were keeping the house.  He was told he had to go now, leave buriram.  He did, but he levelled the house first.
This story has been repeated to me by many Thais, but they each had a different idea of where this happened, but the farang in the story was always irish.
Anyone know the true origins of this story ?
It has helped me, in that in her village they all think Irish men are 'Jai Dee' but they all go crazy when you joke them.  sometimes the big dumb, angry farang lable can works for you.
but I am curious as to how this Legend started.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on July 21, 2011, 07:27:59 PM
I wonder if you could help me with question I've had for a while.
Maybe some of you have heard this story before:
In my wife's village they heard of an Irish man years ago in buriram, who bull-dozed his girlfriends house when she ended her relationship.  she told him that her 'Cousin' was indeed her Thai husband and they were keeping the house.  He was told he had to go now, leave buriram.  He did, but he levelled the house first.
This story has been repeated to me by many Thais, but they each had a different idea of where this happened, but the farang in the story was always irish.
Anyone know the true origins of this story ?
It has helped me, in that in her village they all think Irish men are 'Jai Dee' but they all go crazy when you joke them.  sometimes the big dumb, angry farang lable can works for you.
but I am curious as to how this Legend started.
It did indeed happen just outside Nong Ki about 6 years ago,The chaps name  was Maurice he was a regular at all our 'watering holes'...He went back home about 3 years ago,,,he still comes to Pattaya regularly but never comes here anymore
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 21, 2011, 07:43:00 PM
There was a case reported on Stickman some years ago, whereby the house was burned down by a farang, after his wifes death, when all her family were trying to hustle him out. He had all the papers to prove that the house was built with his money, and the local police gave their approval. He even had his stepdaughter's approval, and he took her to live with him in Bangkok, much to the disgust of her grandparents.

Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Vombatus on July 21, 2011, 07:49:08 PM
The bulldozer story could well apply to our friend who spent the 7m Baht.

He was smart enough to take a 30 year lease on the property which resulted in his cheating wife having to leave. Life was hell in the village and it may well never be a satisfactory situation. This being the case he would certainly consider bull-dozing.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Happylarry on July 21, 2011, 07:51:14 PM
i am not settling very well to work today  LOL

It should be the English summer and in the south east it not even getting up to 20 degrees. Bleedin rain as well. That on its own makes me want to get back to Thailand but I cant get the thought out of my head of surprising Nok by coming to Buriram next month - I was not planing to come until November when my contract finishes.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on July 21, 2011, 08:02:21 PM

Paddyram - "Bagwan"  - you have a sweet mouth - and a charming way with words ! party4

Cheers party4
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 21, 2011, 08:20:26 PM
i am not settling very well to work today  LOL

It should be the English summer and in the south east it not even getting up to 20 degrees. Bleedin rain as well. That on its own makes me want to get back to Thailand but I cant get the thought out of my head of surprising Nok by coming to Buriram next month - I was not planning to come until November when my contract finishes.

Go for it Larry. Nok will certainly get a surprise -one way or the other! Don't concern yourself about the weather - it's pissing down here too
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Happylarry on July 21, 2011, 08:30:41 PM
Thank you Nick at least your rain is warm LOL
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: barrybox on July 29, 2011, 04:06:12 AM
Good Thai girl? they are all  good if you keep sending the money ,I dont have any problems with thai ladys ,they all answer there mobiles immediately day or night ,turn on skype no boyfriends or husbands just normal life ,the cost ?? 3 good friends 150.000 baht per month, seems to me in life you get what you pay for  where ever you choose to live  .good luck and may i suggest Korat for a "real thai "  girl , you,ll need money ,be well  groomed ,and drink very little
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 29, 2011, 05:52:05 AM
They may all be good to us farangs when we send big money -150,000 a month as suggested by you. Idiot! However this does not stop them playing around with their Thai husbands and boyfriends, when the farang has gone back to his home country. When the farang  returns, the Thai "friends" take a back seat, knowing that more money will follow shortly.

As has been said earlier, the Thai man will usually be back in her bed before the farang has reached the airport!

That IS the normal life you refer to!
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on July 29, 2011, 07:38:39 AM
Well said Nick,It would appear that so many who have been here a few times know everything about Thai Girls/Ladies when in reality they know next to nothing or less
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dundeemk6 on July 29, 2011, 08:54:02 AM
@ Nick : why do you even bother to aswer these 'know-it-all' newbies ... join the club of the ladies and help them clean out these as...les, never break their ricebowls and you'll get I nice percentage out of it ... I've tried to 'help' several foreigners before, and this to my great loss of friendship/time/money and even getting a lot of trouble with my wife ... finish/schluss/fini/the end ... now I just laugh with their plain stupidity and help the ladies ...
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 29, 2011, 09:01:52 AM
You are correct Croc. I've had more than my fair share from the local lasses over the years!
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: bartomeer on July 29, 2011, 12:34:27 PM
@ Nick : why do you even bother to aswer these 'know-it-all' newbies ... join the club of the ladies and help them clean out these as...les, never break their ricebowls and you'll get I nice percentage out of it ... I've tried to 'help' several foreigners before, and this to my great loss of friendship/time/money and even getting a lot of trouble with my wife ... finish/schluss/fini/the end ... now I just laugh with their plain stupidity and help the ladies ...

@DundeemK6: Do you really think that "the ladies" will find you the smart guy? When you act like this, "the ladies" will be on your side? Or is this act plain stupidity from the "know-it all-expats"?
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dundeemk6 on July 29, 2011, 01:31:29 PM
bartomeer : whatever, I live my life without all that hassle that is going around with my poverish eight years of experience living in Isaan.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: barrybox on July 30, 2011, 03:01:06 AM
Nick maybe you have just had bad luck and dont meet the right girl .(or girls} you just seem a little bitter perhaps you could tell us another sad farang loses everything story ,or better still tell us your story  .regards  Bb
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 30, 2011, 05:39:16 AM
Barrybox. You have clearly misinterpreted my response..My relationship with my girl (wife) is an excellent one as all who know me will confirm. I have nothing to be bitter about, and fortunately in my 25 years here in Thailand, have not been cheated by the girls.

You appear to think you can buy the girl with a vast amount of money. Yes she will take care of you whenever you are with her, but she will lead her own life when you are away and in my experience, most girls will play around with their Thai boyfriends or husband, which is made all the easier for them due to your generosity.  (I met yet another girl only yesterday in my village who has a farang boyfriend, has been with him to his home country, and yet pending his return is living with her Thai boyfriend on the farangs generosity).And then there is the gambling - your money is often not enough to pay back the loans they take since they believe they surely must win next time.

There are many many horror stories of farangs losing everything to the conniving schemes of their girlfriends and the Thai men behind them. I personally know and have met more than a few. This is largely due to their naivety. They come here, fall in
love and are buying gold, motorcycles, cars and houses for their Tiracs within weeks of meeting them. A recipe for disaster in most cases.

There are some good girls around (I have one) but it needs time before you start giving her all your wealth. This thread will hopefully alert the newbies especially to the dangers of doing things too quickly. Get to know your girl, try and establish whether she is trustworthy. What does she do when you are back home? Try and find out -although the local Thais will never betray her. Only when you are confident can you plan to perhaps vacate your native country and settle down with her in Thailand..

She does not need large sums of money. A few thousand a month to live on in the villages is more than sufficient. If she demands more, then she is not the girl for you. Forget this sinsod crap. You will be giving her a lifestyle way above what a village man could likely give her. Mothers should be happy about this. If not, keep looking.

To conclude, I am not bitter about anything. I just laugh everytime I hear the "farang being cheated".It happens all too often, and if this thread and others elsewhere like it can alert the naive newbies, then I will be more than pleased.







Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on July 30, 2011, 06:25:03 AM
Nick,you & I both know that all newbies will have found a 'good girl',whatever anyone posts will be 'pie in the sky' to them
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 30, 2011, 06:31:29 AM
Very true Nookie.

But if I can steer just one in the right direction, Buddha will be happy with me!
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: jones the rice on July 30, 2011, 06:34:32 AM
Barrybox. You have clearly misinterpreted my response..My relationship with my girl (wife) is an excellent one as all who know me will confirm. I have nothing to be bitter about, and fortunately in my 25 years here in Thailand, have not been cheated by the girls.

You appear to think you can buy the girl with a vast amount of money. Yes she will take care of you whenever you are with her, but she will lead her own life when you are away and in my experience, most girls will play around with their Thai boyfriends or husband, which is made all the easier for them due to your generosity.  (I met yet another girl only yesterday in my village who has a farang boyfriend, has been with him to his home country, and yet pending his return is living with her Thai boyfriend on the farangs generosity).And then there is the gambling - your money is often not enough to pay back the loans they take since they believe they surely must win next time.

There are many many horror stories of farangs losing everything to the conniving schemes of their girlfriends and the Thai men behind them. I personally know and have met more than a few. This is largely due to their naivety. They come here, fall in
love and are buying gold, motorcycles, cars and houses for their Tiracs within weeks of meeting them. A recipe for disaster in most cases.

There are some good girls around (I have one) but it needs time before you start giving her all your wealth. This thread will hopefully alert the newbies especially to the dangers of doing things too quickly. Get to know your girl, try and establish whether she is trustworthy. What does she do when you are back home? Try and find out -although the local Thais will never betray her. Only when you are confident can you plan to perhaps vacate your native country and settle down with her in Thailand..

She does not need large sums of money. A few thousand a month to live on in the villages is more than sufficient. If she demands more, then she is not the girl for you. Forget this sinsod crap. You will be giving her a lifestyle way above what a village man could likely give her. Mothers should be happy about this. If not, keep looking.

To conclude, I am not bitter about anything. I just laugh everytime I hear the "farang being cheated".It happens all too often, and if this thread and others elsewhere like it can alert the naive newbies, then I will be more than pleased.
i agree with some of what you say but you come across as thais are not equal to us and that is not true,i think the one thing i  have heard the most in my 10 years here is that farang talk about my wife is no good her family no good,my girlfriend no good,but the farang is always the best man in the world.truth is that some are the bottom of the barrel, ok for the husband to go do what he wants,but if the wife or girlfriend do the same she is no good,i think that is what you call double standards.
one more thing you say a few thousand a month is more than enough,why should someone that has a husband boyfriend live in a way of poverty,i think ok don't show it all at first but 15000 baht a month is not to much and gives you peace of mind that your girlfriend is ok and feels happy.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 30, 2011, 06:53:51 AM
If she is your girlfriend or wife, then she most certainly is equal to you and should be treated accordingly.

Whatever amount of money you decide to send her, is fine, as long as you are sure it is being spent by her as you would wish. Unfortunately that is most times not the case. Upon receipt she will  likely  splash out on beer etc for all and sundry, and possibly  take a Thai overnight partner in her state of drunkenness. Mother will be there with her hand out, to go off and play cards,or make another donation to the Monks or most likely both.

The money will be frittered away gambling, lottery etc, etc, and she will forever be telling you it is not enough

That is not how I would want my money to be spent!

Agree there are more than a few farang men who are bottom of the barrel, but remember it is their hard earned money they are using and not the girlfriends!


15000bt a month. Far too much in a village for just one girlfriend. She probably would never have earned anything like that in a legitimate way. On that the whole extended family can live and need not get off their mattresses to look for work!

If you are happy with that -then fine!



Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: pfbrown on July 30, 2011, 07:38:39 AM
Gentlemen, I applaud your measured and caring responses to these fellows who are trying to understand this culture.  I have seen this again and again over the 7 years I have been here.  One cannot teach commonsense or prudence.  The " go slow" approach normally falls on dead ears. The real pain is listening to the stories of those taken as they slide into "the bottle" wondering where their life savings went to. In Thailand, if you act like "a mark" you will be treated like one. bravo1
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on July 30, 2011, 07:45:19 AM
Gentlemen, I applaud your measured and caring responses to these fellows who are trying to understand this culture.  I have seen this again and again over the 7 years I have been here.  One cannot teach commonsense or prudence.  The " go slow" approach normally falls on dead ears. The real pain is listening to the stories of those taken as they slide into "the bottle" wondering where their life savings went to. In Thailand, if you act like "a mark" you will be treated like one. bravo1
There is one such idiot who stays close by when he is here from UK,only a young guy 41 ,already knocked a kid out ,now sold his batchelor flat ,going to do this ,do that,do the other,,,,I've tried talking to him but know I'm wasting my time..........
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: jones the rice on July 30, 2011, 08:22:20 AM
i agree with some of what you guys say,but i must say i have heard all the stories about this and that ,but to speak the truth i suppose in life you have to have a bit of luck ,i myself have spent a lot of money since my arrival here full time 10 years ago,and i must say in the 10 years of living here my wife and family have never bombarded me will request for money,of course like us all a little here and a little there but no more than what i would do for my farther back in WALES,so i suppose i am just a very lucky guy with a loving an caring wife and family to witch i think the world of.
some times good thing come to good people.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Prakhonchai Nick on July 30, 2011, 09:00:53 AM
Jones you too would seem to be one of the lucky ones. Sadly there are far too many who are unlucky, often through their own making.

If the new arrivals would listen and learn from the advice they are given, there would be far fewer failures.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: jones the rice on July 30, 2011, 09:17:39 AM
Jones you too would seem to be one of the lucky ones. Sadly there are far too many who are unlucky, often through their own making.

If the new arrivals would listen and learn from the advice they are given, there would be far fewer failures.
i agree with you 100%,you can take a horse to water but you carn't make it drink.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on July 30, 2011, 10:14:05 AM
Nick it could be something too do with him having a 'farther' who has a broomstick!
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on July 30, 2011, 06:39:53 PM
Jones you too would seem to be one of the lucky ones. Sadly there are far too many who are unlucky, often through their own making.

If the new arrivals would listen and learn from the advice they are given, there would be far fewer failures.
i agree with you 100%,you can take a horse to water but you carn't make it drink.

Very true. 
Some guys will get lucky without even knowing the risks.
Some guys will get lucky despite of the risks.
Some will fcuk it up themselves
and some will get screwed.

All you can do is tell them and make them aware of the possible risks.  If they don't take it on board (.. 'But my girl is different' ..) then all we can do is sit back, get the pop corn out and watch the train wreck.

But these (maybe unwanted) nuggets of wisdom for the new guys are invaluable.  Even if they just make the farang in question a little more aware of his surroundings and avoid getting sucked in further.  Ask John the Traveller. 
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: dundeemk6 on July 30, 2011, 08:38:31 PM
Paddyram : I stick to the popcorn nowadays and to be honnest I sometimes help the ladies to precipitate the trainwreck ... it is going to happen anyway, why don't get it over and done quickly ...
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: BillH52 on September 21, 2011, 09:13:03 AM
Guess I am one of the lucky ones, as well.

Met my 'good Thai woman' in January of 2006. Her English left a lot to be desired.  Spent most of January and all of February that year, with her and family in rural Issan.  Family never ask for money.  Our agreement was for her to learn passable English in the following 6 months; I sent her 1000 baht per week.  She had to borrow a motorcycle to Nang Rong twice a week for classes and study like crazy; and that included the rainy season and mud up to her ears. 
After 6 months, her English was more than passable and she had proven her honesty beyond a shadow of a doubt and that she has a heart of gold.  She went to the USA; we got married; she got a drivers license; her English is now excellent and she is now a supervisor at our U.S. 'resort'. 

She is a penny pincher; I do help the family occasionally (typically from my wife's income); but, the work, help and honesty I get from each and every one of our Thai family is much more than I ever expected or could have hoped for; and sometimes am almost embarrassed at everything her family does for me and/or us - not for money, but because we are 'family'.  Her father does like a daily 'allowance' when we are in country - that being 10 baht per day. She won't give him more as she's worried he will spend it on alcohol.  Her 14 year old daughter gets 50 baht per day 'allowance' (school days only) and maintains a 4.0 gpa in Lahansai. 
I always wish and hope other "Gringo's" will have my experience here in LOS with the good, honest but simple people of Issan.

Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on September 21, 2011, 09:27:05 AM
There are some good people here in Thailand,Isaan, reading your story I also think you are very lucky. :) sawadi
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: F1ART on September 21, 2011, 04:58:50 PM
It amazes me how some people talk about Thais in a generalised fashion and as they are beneath them.
Why would anyone come to spend time or live in a country then run it and its population down.
From what I have experienced it's these type of farangs that have the most problems because they never earn any respect. They obviously can't understand or comprehend the culture. They try to change it to the culture at their home and it doesn't work out.
All countries have good and bad but the majority are usually good when properly understood love6 
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Admin on September 21, 2011, 05:38:03 PM
It amazes me how some people talk about Thais in a generalised fashion and as they are beneath them.
Why would anyone come to spend time or live in a country then run it and its population down.
From what I have experienced it's these type of farangs that have the most problems because they never earn any respect. They obviously can't understand or comprehend the culture. They try to change it to the culture at their home and it doesn't work out.
All countries have good and bad but the majority are usually good when properly understood love6 
So true. thumbup
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Vombatus on September 21, 2011, 08:41:21 PM
It amazes me how some people talk about Thais in a generalised fashion and as they are beneath them.
Why would anyone come to spend time or live in a country then run it and its population down.
From what I have experienced it's these type of farangs that have the most problems because they never earn any respect. They obviously can't understand or comprehend the culture. They try to change it to the culture at their home and it doesn't work out.
All countries have good and bad but the majority are usually good when properly understood love6 

As you clearly understand the culture you will appreciate that the Thais are dab hands at generalising.

Notably re Farangs but I have seen it done with Cambodians or Laoatians, Muslims and Chocolate men. Not racially motivated but 'generalistic' and stereo-typical comments.

It is not unusual to talk generically about peoples or groups.  To talk of 'Thai drivers' in generalising, to talk about the average Thai driving standard being appalling is also generalising but it is generally true.

It is not a case of 'looking down' at all - we all arrived here by different routes and are making our lives with the locals, in their locality. It doesn't mean that we cannot observe objectively (and even be critical of some things we see/experience). 

In these parts 'respect' is often judged by money - respect is bought easily in Thailand. That is a FACT, not a generalisation. When people borrow money to create 'respect' (face) then it is easy for me to 'understand the culture' - it does not mean I have to agree with it or, worse, try and be wannabe Thai and embrace it !

Respect has to be earned whether you are a Thai or Falang.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: BillH52 on September 21, 2011, 09:12:37 PM
There are some good people here in Thailand,Isaan, reading your story I also think you are very lucky. :) sawadi

One thing I should have made clear, I went thru 5 other 'girl friends' before meeting the lady who would become my wife.
#3 was very, very good; just major communication issues - my lack of Thai; her lack of English. The others turned out to be looking for their own personal ATM.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on September 21, 2011, 10:55:28 PM
I agree with you, CC.  As the outsiders, making observations is totally natural.  Things are different, people are different and we notice this.  Everybody generalises about groups of people at some point and there is usually some nugget of truth at the core.

I also agree that Thai's are partial to generalising themselves (isn't that a generalisation just there).  Just listening to my wife's friends when we go back on holiday, apparently: 
English men are too horny, want sex too much and drink too much,
German men are too stingey and too careful (careful as in untrusting),
Russian men are stingey (kee Nok) and angry, 
Americans are good because they are very rich and they can be stupid about money,
But the black americans are ugly.
Black men generally are smelly (and too big ?),
Arabs are smelly and stingey,
Indians always want to share the ladies with their friends,
Irish men are stupid when they are drunk (but just my wife said that !)
Oh, ya .. and according to them ALL Thai men have wondering eyes and can't be trusted.
Scandinavians and Swiss men seem to have a good rep with the ladies (why, I wonder ?)

Has anyone else heard these generalisations from their Thai partner ?
[and yes, I think it is obvious from the comments above that her friends put down a few night shifts in Walking Street)
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Vombatus on September 21, 2011, 11:27:05 PM
Yes!  All of those.  thumbup
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: olavhome on September 21, 2011, 11:50:08 PM
[
Scandinavians and Swiss men seem to have a good rep with the ladies (why, I wonder ?)

To know us is to love us  love2
Very happy to see this, it what I have been telling my wife all the time...

But serious:
Scandinavian countries have long established equal rights (same as many other contries)
Many of the countries mentioned above is big countries and maybe think easily high of themselves.
Scandinavian countries had been relatively poor contries up to the last 50 years (just like us in Norway before we hit jackpot on december 23 with Northsea oil).
Also in Scandinavia there is a majority of middle class people, and no history for class society.
But of course, I have also seen /heard Scandinavians treat (and talk) of Thai people of both sexes in a very bad manner.

Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Adam on September 22, 2011, 12:08:06 AM
People are people, no matter where they are from, there are good and bad in every race....except the Germans!!! bigok









Only joking :biggrin: love1
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: urleft on September 23, 2011, 11:21:57 AM

Americans are good


Amazing how intelligent Thai's are, it is why I have such respect for them.   thumbup


Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Paddyram on September 23, 2011, 03:45:56 PM
The post did say .. " Americans are good because they are rich AND are STUPID with money ".  whistle
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: DeputyDavid on April 29, 2013, 01:33:08 AM
Guess I am one of the lucky ones, as well.

Met my 'good Thai woman' in January of 2006. Her English left a lot to be desired.  Spent most of January and all of February that year, with her and family in rural Issan.  Family never ask for money.  Our agreement was for her to learn passable English in the following 6 months; I sent her 1000 baht per week.  She had to borrow a motorcycle to Nang Rong twice a week for classes and study like crazy; and that included the rainy season and mud up to her ears. 
After 6 months, her English was more than passable and she had proven her honesty beyond a shadow of a doubt and that she has a heart of gold.  She went to the USA; we got married; she got a drivers license; her English is now excellent and she is now a supervisor at our U.S. 'resort'. 

She is a penny pincher; I do help the family occasionally (typically from my wife's income); but, the work, help and honesty I get from each and every one of our Thai family is much more than I ever expected or could have hoped for; and sometimes am almost embarrassed at everything her family does for me and/or us - not for money, but because we are 'family'.  Her father does like a daily 'allowance' when we are in country - that being 10 baht per day. She won't give him more as she's worried he will spend it on alcohol.  Her 14 year old daughter gets 50 baht per day 'allowance' (school days only) and maintains a 4.0 gpa in Lahansai. 
I always wish and hope other "Gringo's" will have my experience here in LOS with the good, honest but simple people of Issan.

I believe that you did well because your wife is older.  I venture to guess that most of the "sad" stories involve ladies in their 20's.  Mine just decided one day she wanted to experience a "better" life in America.  I wonder why that decision coincided with her getting citizenship?  Hmmm.  Of course I bought the farm, built the house, bought the truck and sent a cargo container of household items to my retirement home before she decided to walk.  I hope you are still doing well.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: DeputyDavid on July 18, 2013, 10:10:49 AM
is fwinder still out there,,,,,I was hoping to hear how things turned out.  My guess is not so well since no further postings.  So sorry to hear.
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: John the Traveller on July 18, 2013, 06:05:55 PM
It is some time since I have posted on this topic.
The main advice of all "old hands" rings true. Don't invest more than you can afford to loose. The next big one I think is move slowly! I will say it again "slowly". Paddyram, Prakonchainick, Almog and my old mate TBWG would agree I have no doubt. Why would you conduct yourself differently in Thailand as opposed to your home country? I guess the train wrecks will continue. However I still say a big thank you to the BE board members who give up their time to educate the new guys. Take a well earned bow gentleman!
Regards,
JT  sawadi
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Somnat on July 18, 2013, 06:50:05 PM
is fwinder still out there,,,,,I was hoping to hear how things turned out.  My guess is not so well since no further postings.  So sorry to hear.

But funny enough ..... over 4 years after his first post ..... he just happens to be online right now ...makes you wonder :o

The good thing though, is that there was some invaluable information put forward in regards to this often debated topic love6
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Voodoo on August 12, 2013, 11:57:16 PM
I know now, i am not alone about sending some money to my thai girl. I also know her life is not easy and it hurts me alot.
She never been asking for some money from me, I always have to push on her for get an ok for send her money every month
I been sending her alot of money and i know she is careful with the money and work alot for help her family.
I trust my girl and it makes me feel good.
I am sure my girl is a "good thai girl" love dont comes from money

You've definitely got it right Hans.. Something tells me you found the right girl.. The funny part is you just described one of my nieces to a tee.. Is your girl's name, perhaps, Nancy or Nan?  Is she from a little village just north of Non Suwon?  Either way you've gotten the whole thing right.. Please contact us either way.... Eddie and Pon
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: nookiebear on August 13, 2013, 06:30:23 AM
I know now, i am not alone about sending some money to my thai girl. I also know her life is not easy and it hurts me alot.
She never been asking for some money from me, I always have to push on her for get an ok for send her money every month
I been sending her alot of money and i know she is careful with the money and work alot for help her family.
I trust my girl and it makes me feel good.
I am sure my girl is a "good thai girl" love dont comes from money

You've definitely got it right Hans.. Something tells me you found the right girl.. The funny part is you just described one of my nieces to a tee.. Is your girl's name, perhaps, Nancy or Nan?  Is she from a little village just north of Non Suwon?  Either way you've gotten the whole thing right.. Please contact us either way.... Eddie and Pon

Hans the one post wonder!
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: Voodoo on August 14, 2013, 02:47:26 AM
Mmmmmm.. Very interesting post even if it was only one time.. Probably will never get an answer but I'll confirm it with an email to my niece.. Have a good day Nookie Bear..
Title: Re: good Thai girl
Post by: SWINDLED on September 21, 2013, 06:20:56 PM
'fwinder' gets called a "Troll" & you wonder why he doesnt post more.


is fwinder still out there,,,,,I was hoping to hear how things turned out.  My guess is not so well since no further postings.  So sorry to hear.