Buriram Expats
Buriram Province - General Category => Dating / Personals & Everything between them. => Topic started by: bobb on April 18, 2011, 02:32:14 PM
-
in buriram would a SIN SOD or Sin Soot be expected, according to Thai Culture, for a
lady's second marriage...and also a child...if so...what would be the acceptable
amount...what part does gold play in the prospective marriage
would greatly appreciate a response...have no real source of info....Bob in the U.S.
Nothing is certain about tomorrow.
The things that unite us are far greater than the things that keep us apart. BB
-
bobb,
I can only relate to you what happened to me, my wife was a widow with a 2 yr old when we meet, 2 yrs later
we married (Amphur) not Village cerimony as my wife didn't feel it was nessesary,and as I have been married before
I had been there and done that also.
When I asked her about Sinsot she explained to me that as she was a widower or more importantly a single parent
no Sinsot was needed or will be asked for.... But I personaly would of payed something as she is a great girl and her daughter is now like my own..
But I help out the family where I can and that makes up for it..
Her mother gave her some good advise when we first met, she told her "To never ask for more than you need" and
till today my wife and her family have lived by that..her family are just happy that they have a chance of a better life.. Choc Dee thumbup
-
When the lady was married before the umu already recieved a sinsot ... and when they split the mum isn't going to give it back ... so second-hand bribes should be sinsot free ... just my opinion ... I live here in Lahansai since 2003 ... legally married but never a thai wedding nor sinsot ... I help her mum out once in while, pay for water and electricity, pay for the maintenance of the bike she got from us ... but that now all ... and we don't live next to the family = is worth a fortune ...
-
got and read two replys...both of value to me...Thanks for your personal time
-
... and we don't live next to the family = is worth a fortune ...
Amen there brother.............
-
There isn't any such standard answer to the sin sod query, as every situation and marriage will be different.
-
Although I have heard that a second marriage is sinsod free - my wife disputes this. A 2nd marriage is occurring in my village -both Thais - and a large sinsod has been demanded.
Nevertheless, I do not agree with sinsods, and with 2 Thai marriages under my belt (both amphur registrations only) I have not paid a baht!, It did help that when I first met my 2nd wife, and just talking about life in general, with no thoughts of a relationship developing, (basically because I was far to old for her!) I said that if I ever remarried, there would be no sinsod, no village wedding and no monks. slapfight swordfight She never forgot what I said, and never even asked for these. Best to put your cards on the table from the very beginning! newargue
I'm still far too old for her (even though she's getting on a bit!) but we've been together 13 years, and all is fine!. Perhaps though time for a trade in! :D :D :D
-
never been in a chat room...so don't really know how to navigate...thanks to all who have responded...along with the info...I've really enjoyed the happy faces...bobb new onboard
-
Hey Bob,
For what it's worth, my wife had a child before I met her though never actually married, even Thai style, so no sin sot ever paid.
In our case, it was just a face thing & she arranged with her parents that sin sot be paid but immediately returned after the event.. as I recall 99,999 baht cash & 2 x 2 baht gold necklaces.. this nearly 10 years ago.
So it was a win win thing... they had big face & I paid nothing .Though we did have ( & paid for )the usual party which was a ripper.
I suggest you talk it over with the prospective missus.. pointless starting on the wrong foot!!
All the best. Richard.
-
Although I have heard that a second marriage is sinsod free - my wife disputes this. A 2nd marriage is occurring in my village -both Thais - and a large sinsod has been demanded.
Your wife is correct Nick. I know a few Thais who have remarried and paid Sin-sot. Sometimes the second Sin-sot can be be more than the one paid first time. It all boils down to how much one can afford. With most, the Sin-sot is returned, to the groom,after the ceremony. Children in a second marriage are not a stumbling block, as some people seem to think. A Thai man will take on another mans kids, contrary to popular belief.
Now if the intended is/was a bar-girl then Sin-sot is not paid. She is the lowest of the low and a Thai man wouldn't touch her with a barge pole. Whereas westerners can't help themselves. Consequently that is why Thais see 'farangs' as being total fools in marrying them. Okay, some may say 'oh my wife (ex bar-girl), and me, are well liked, by others, in the village. Dream on, you're only accepted for what you have and what they may gain. It's all show. A typical Thai trait.
A western guy said to me the other day that his 50/50 child is looked down on by local Thais. No it isn't. It's automatically assumed that the chances of having a 50/50 child is the due to a westerner having married a bar-girl.It's the parents that are looked down upon.
Anyone who thinks I'm talking out of my ass need to go speak to some honest, straight talking Thai , instead of the false smiling ones
Back to the Sin-sot question. Nah, don't pay one. Start as you mean to go on. party15
-
Good post Praggers!
-
what you have and what they may gain
I think that sums up why Thai-ladies want to marry a westerner in the first place.If you was to ask any Thai lady to be honest"If she had an option of either marrying a rich Thai or a rich westerner "The Thai would win hands down.
Coming back to Pragmatic post ( thumbup) and Village mentality,I was told by local Thais that all Thai women that have a farang husbands meet them whilst working in the sex industry as that is the only place to meet farangs.( I was told by a Thai so it must be true smilenod )Jealously ,hatred and gossip are riff in the villages, to be honest who gives a fook what other locals think,As I have said before " I haven't come to Isaan to win a popularity contest with the local Villagers".I'm nice to all the locals,Do they talk about us behind our back ???.Who cares. :biggrin:
-
Quite right manupete ... it always makes me smile when I hear every new farang on the block : "but my wive is different" ... they think they all got the one and only gem ... till the cold shower comes ... most farang who only stay for short bursts of time can forget it ... do they really believe the missus stays pure and virginal when they are back to their country ?!? ... but you need all kind of fools to populate the earth ... this isn't exclusive to thai birds ... it happens all over the world ... the bloke that goes to work overseas for a few months for some nice pay also hopes the misses stays "pure" ...
-
the bloke that goes to work overseas for a few months for some nice pay also hopes the misses stays "pure" ...
And the misses hopes the bloke stays "pure" :o
-
Seems this thread is getting off the OP but the notion that ALL thai farang relations are doomed is flawed in my opinion.
I am not off with the fairies & know exactly the basis of my own relationship & have no concerns regardless.
Anyway, a bit of prudence can help.
The generalisations might reflect personal experience more than reality, I don't know.
But I do know some LONG term Thai Farang couples where the gems are still shining.
What's around the corner? Who knows but I don't lose any sleep worrying about things that may well never happen.
Maybe it's called stupidity. Maybe it's called trust, but like everything in life, a relationship has to have a solid foundation.
Good luck with yours.It's not all doom & gloom.
-
It's not all doom & gloom.
Quite right it,s not all doom and gloom but we wouldn't be tell the true if we didn't tell the bad side of things that can happen. Most marriages that do fail are normally because of cultural differences,keep your western head on and don't bend to the changes and relationships will fall.Coming back to the OP,I didn't pay a Sin Sod as I live here and built a house.Expecting to pay a Sin Sod and build a house is a double whammy that nobody should do .If I had been taking the wife to go and live in the UK then maybe a small Sin Sod would have been paid out of respect to the parents.I know one guy that paid a Sin Sod and his wife didn't even have any parents alive. I wonder where that money went ??? ....................... :biggrin:
-
Although I have heard that a second marriage is sinsod free - my wife disputes this. A 2nd marriage is occurring in my village -both Thais - and a large sinsod has been demanded.
Nevertheless, I do not agree with sinsods, and with 2 Thai marriages under my belt (both amphur registrations only) I have not paid a baht!, It did help that when I first met my 2nd wife, and just talking about life in general, with no thoughts of a relationship developing, (basically because I was far to old for her!) I said that if I ever remarried, there would be no sinsod, no village wedding and no monks. slapfight swordfight She never forgot what I said, and never even asked for these. Best to put your cards on the table from the very beginning! newargue
I'm still far too old for her (even though she's getting on a bit!) but we've been together 13 years, and all is fine!. Perhaps though time for a trade in! :D :D :D
Yes, she must be ready for a younger model ! swordfight
-
the bloke that goes to work overseas for a few months for some nice pay also hopes the misses stays "pure" ...
And the misses hopes the bloke stays "pure" :o
Also the Mrs hopes the bloke neither returns unexpectedly or unannounced!
-
I agree 100% that cross cultural marriages, & especially those ( like F & Ts ) that have a bigger age difference, are fraught with issues & possibly more prone to failures, though same same marriages aren't very successful either statistically.
Any marriage, anywhere, where material gain is the only motivation is likely doomed.
Like you say, being flexible & aware of the cultural differences is a must but often difficult to reconcile with.
Sin sod is one such cultural aspect that is difficult for some to accept but it is no different to touching heads or using feet etc etc & in my opinion should be respected.
The simple solution is to negotiate to get it back after the wedding .. a win win outcome. If you can't, & don't want to pay, then it's up to you ( to coin a phrase )
The house/land issue is a different one in that we can't legally own it so like said earlier, only put in what u are comfortable with losing .
My beef is only with the pessimistic generalisations... the 2 sides is more realistic .
Don't really know how to predict the future unfortunately but can live with it.
-
Your wife is correct Nick. I know a few Thais who have remarried and paid Sin-sot. Sometimes the second Sin-sot can be be more than the one paid first time. It all boils down to how much one can afford. With most, the Sin-sot is returned, to the groom,after the ceremony.
10 years in Isaan and I have NEVER seen sinsod repaid after the ceremony. The mothers want it to pay off their gambling loans!
-
Yes, she must be ready for a younger model ! swordfight
At least there is only one of me! crazydance
-
Bobb as you can see there are some strong thoughts on Farang Thai marriages, some guys have lived here a long time
and seen what can go wrong but in the end if you can't have some trust in your Mrs you might as well either leave or stay seated on that bar stool down at Pattaya. I believe trust has to be earned, both ways, as most I have had the dirty done on me by western women as well but I'm not going to punish my Thai wife for it, I have the attitude that if it all turns to shite there is a Million more out there.. party3 party4 The only problem is will I live long enough to try them all... love1
-
I have the attitude that if it all turns to shite there is a Million more out there.. party3 party4 The only problem is will I live long enough to try them all... love1
I'll help you. Then that's half a million each!
Don't let Nookie play!
-
Glad I never heard of Sin Sod till yesterday when you all started about this and I'm marriedn for almost 11 years. thumbup
-
what you have and what they may gain
I think that sums up why Thai-ladies want to marry a westerner in the first place.If you was to ask any Thai lady to be honest"If she had an option of either marrying a rich Thai or a rich westerner "The Thai would win hands down.
Coming back to Pragmatic post ( thumbup) and Village mentality,I was told by local Thais that all Thai women that have a farang husbands meet them whilst working in the sex industry as that is the only place to meet farangs.( I was told by a Thai so it must be true smilenod )Jealously ,hatred and gossip are riff in the villages, to be honest who gives a fook what other locals think,As I have said before " I haven't come to Isaan to win a popularity contest with the local Villagers".I'm nice to all the locals,Do they talk about us behind our back ???.Who cares. :biggrin:
Simply. They don't care for Thai guys.....all the obvious reasons.
-
It's not all doom & gloom.
Quite right it,s not all doom and gloom but we wouldn't be tell the true if we didn't tell the bad side of things that can happen. Most marriages that do fail are normally because of cultural differences,keep your western head on and don't bend to the changes and relationships will fall.Coming back to the OP,I didn't pay a Sin Sod as I live here and built a house.Expecting to pay a Sin Sod and build a house is a double whammy that nobody should do .If I had been taking the wife to go and live in the UK then maybe a small Sin Sod would have been paid out of respect to the parents.I know one guy that paid a Sin Sod and his wife didn't even have any parents alive. I wonder where that money went ??? ....................... :biggrin:
Sometimes a house and the expected future security is enough. No sin sod is foregoing.
-
It's enough for the girl, but it's the mothers that want the money!
-
It's enough for the girl, but it's the mothers that want the money!
Again nicky, these {set in stone} factors are not all the same.
-
Two sides to this question:-
very often it's just for show, and indeed the bride's family may lend the money.
if it's the prospective husband's money, I would say, Beware! Daughters can be sold as prostitutes, or they can be sold for a bride-price... the difference is mainly in the terminology.
-
I can only speak of what I have seen in my village and neighbouring villages. Not once has sin sod been returned in 10 years.
-
I can only speak of what I have seen in my village and neighbouring villages. Not once has sin sod been returned in 10 years.
The times when the money is returned are when the Thai family is relatively well off, i.e. in most cases an urban family, not peasant farmers.
-
A few years ago an english bloke was asked to tranfer 100.000 baht for his sinsot ... they didn't mention baht ... so the bloke made a transfer of 100.000 £ ... the pound was still strong at that time ... you can image the party and number of new cars that were bought !!! Whatever happened after this? I don't know ... did the marriage took place or not, you have to ask people from Ban Kruat ...
Isn't life beautifull ?!?
-
I can only speak of what I have seen in my village and neighbouring villages. Not once has sin sod been returned in 10 years.
Have to agree here Nick ,I have never seen it given back,apart from one time ,some was kept for a new roof and the rest returned.( A sin sod paid and the rest for show but this was a Thai/Farang wedding so the farang paid for the party) At one Thai/farang wedding the guy was even told by his new lovely bride that all wedding gift money ( the money tied around their wrist's) had to be give to the parents as well as he was taking her to the UK and that was the local custom.The parents got 100k sin sod ,the party paid for and the money off the couples wrist's,so lots of smiling faces that day. :biggrin:
The funny thing is that a sin sod is wavered many times in a Thai/farang wedding as the new husband pays for a big wedding in the village but hardly ever in a Thai/Thai wedding !!! ::)
But at the same time you wouldn't expert the Thai family to pay for everything ,its all down to what make everybody happy. smilenod
We even have a few professional Thai brides in the village that have been married to 4 or 5 to Thai guys and a Sin Sod paid each time,the families have a nice house's.!!! friendlypeople
-
A few years ago an english bloke was asked to tranfer 100.000 baht for his sinsot ... they didn't mention baht ... so the bloke made a transfer of 100.000 £ ... the pound was still strong at that time ... you can image the party and number of new cars that were bought !!! Whatever happened after this? I don't know ... did the marriage took place or not, you have to ask people from Ban Kruat ...
Isn't life beautifull ?!?
He must have been the dumbest man on the planet, after JtT ofcourse.
-
BTW....to put things into perspective.......What we mustn't forget though is that an average wedding cost in the UK are £20,000 ( 1,00,000 Baht) but with the help of this site ( http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/planning/budget.asp (http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/planning/budget.asp) ) you can get it down to £11,000 ( 550,000 baht ) so even if you pay a sin sod it's still cheap . party6
-
There aren't many average weddings in the UK anymore, In fact there aren't nearly as many weddings as there used to be. People have more sense!
-
There aren't many average weddings in the UK anymore, In fact there aren't nearly as many weddings as there used to be. People have more sense!
Yes Nick ,when I got married in the UK it was a small affair ,as it was May 19th and FA cup day ,me and the father in law managed to insult most of the guest so they would leave by 3pm to we could watch the game in peace. redman
-
A few years ago an english bloke was asked to tranfer 100.000 baht for his sinsot ... they didn't mention baht ... so the bloke made a transfer of 100.000 £ ... the pound was still strong at that time ... you can image the party and number of new cars that were bought !!! Whatever happened after this? I don't know ... did the marriage took place or not, you have to ask people from Ban Kruat ...
Isn't life beautifull ?!?
Yes, must be lovely to be a dumb-butt.
-
A few years ago an english bloke was asked to tranfer 100.000 baht for his sinsot ... they didn't mention baht ... so the bloke made a transfer of 100.000 £ ... the pound was still strong at that time ... you can image the party and number of new cars that were bought !!! Whatever happened after this? I don't know ... did the marriage took place or not, you have to ask people from Ban Kruat ...
Isn't life beautifull ?!?
Yes, must be lovely to be a dumb-butt.
Urban Myth ::) ::) ::) :biggrin:
-
I can only speak of what I have seen in my village and neighbouring villages. Not once has sin sod been returned in 10 years.
Have to agree here Nick ,I have never seen it given back,apart from one time ,some was kept for a new roof and the rest returned.( A sin sod paid and the rest for show but this was a Thai/Farang wedding so the farang paid for the party) At one Thai/farang wedding the guy was even told by his new lovely bride that all wedding gift money ( the money tied around their wrist's) had to be give to the parents as well as he was taking her to the UK and that was the local custom.The parents got 100k sin sod ,the party paid for and the money off the couples wrist's,so lots of smiling faces that day. :biggrin:
The funny thing is that a sin sod is wavered many times in a Thai/farang wedding as the new husband pays for a big wedding in the village but hardly ever in a Thai/Thai wedding !!! ::)
But at the same time you wouldn't expert the Thai family to pay for everything ,its all down to what make everybody happy. smilenod
We even have a few professional Thai brides in the village that have been married to 4 or 5 to Thai guys and a Sin Sod paid each time,the families have a nice house's.!!! friendlypeople
In many cases, the poorer countryside dwellers will forgo the sin sod with a sorta guarantee of "being looked after" by their newly enshrined Farang SIL. Again, the ideal of a future security is in place.
-
If I had paid sin sod to my 2 Falang wives they would have got less in the divorce.
Apparently, you can't get blood out of a stone !
-
There aren't many average weddings in the UK anymore, In fact there aren't nearly as many weddings as there used to be. People have more sense!
Yes Nick ,when I got married in the UK it was a small affair ,as it was May 19th and FA cup day ,me and the father in law managed to insult most of the guest so they would leave by 3pm to we could watch the game in peace. redman
Who won?
-
Planning obviously not your strong point Manupete
-
There aren't many average weddings in the UK anymore, In fact there aren't nearly as many weddings as there used to be. People have more sense!
Yes Nick ,when I got married in the UK it was a small affair ,as it was May 19th and FA cup day ,me and the father in law managed to insult most of the guest so they would leave by 3pm to we could watch the game in peace. redman
Who won?
Me .I ended up with the house. :biggrin:
-
Planning obviously not your strong point Manupete
My fiancée was 4 months pregnant and it was the only date available for months ,yes planning ( family ) was not my strong point love3
-
BTW....to put things into perspective.......What we mustn't forget though is that an average wedding cost in the UK are £20,000 ( 1,00,000 Baht) but with the help of this site ( http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/planning/budget.asp (http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/planning/budget.asp) ) you can get it down to £11,000 ( 550,000 baht ) so even if you pay a sin sod it's still cheap . party6
£20,000 should be equal to 1,000,000 baht.....just being picky....LOL
-
I'm thinking of asking a god-awful shite load of cash for my daughter's wedding in the future years.
-
BTW....to put things into perspective.......What we mustn't forget though is that an average wedding cost in the UK are £20,000 ( 1,00,000 Baht) but with the help of this site ( http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/planning/budget.asp (http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/planning/budget.asp) ) you can get it down to £11,000 ( 550,000 baht ) so even if you pay a sin sod it's still cheap . party6
£20,000 should be equal to 1,000,000 baht.....just being picky....LOL
Sorry I missed a nought..LOL.. :P :biggrin:
I remember when £20k was worth 1,520,000.... :( :'(
-
I'm thinking of asking a god-awful shite load of cash for my daughter's wedding in the future years.
Me too. I wish she'd hurry up and marry someone!
-
I'm thinking of asking a god-awful shite load of cash for my daughter's wedding in the future years.
Me too. I wish she'd hurry up and marry someone!
Thats a good point. I have a daughter also, but we don't live in Thailand at the moment.
But How many Buriram Farangs would look for sinsod for the daughters marriage. And would you give it back afterwards ??????????? Lets see who would do what !
-
Since I would imagine our daughters are likely to have a higher education than their village friends, and will not be so dark skinned, they will be more appealing to the Bangkok gentry, many of whom have money beyond belief. In such circumstances one would have to consider the dowry carefully.
But at the end of the day. it will be the Thai mothers who will decide!
-
Since I would imagine our daughters are likely to have a higher education than their village friends, and will not be so dark skinned, they will be more appealing to the Bangkok gentry, many of whom have money beyond belief. In such circumstances one would have to consider the dowry carefully.
But at the end of the day. it will be the Thai mothers who will decide!
To pre-guess what our children are going to do is impossible ,it could be a poor farmers son who likes to sleep all day with the aircon on :ohmy:
-
Then I'd price my daughter out of the market!
-
I'm thinking of asking a god-awful shite load of cash for my daughter's wedding in the future years.
Me too. I wish she'd hurry up and marry someone!
Thats a good point. I have a daughter also, but we don't live in Thailand at the moment.
But How many Buriram Farangs would look for sinsod for the daughters marriage. And would you give it back afterwards ??????????? Lets see who would do what !
Nope. Not giving it back. I'd be asking a nice fair sum of 200K.....party and tamboon included. spot1
-
Since I would imagine our daughters are likely to have a higher education than their village friends, and will not be so dark skinned, they will be more appealing to the Bangkok gentry, many of whom have money beyond belief. In such circumstances one would have to consider the dowry carefully.
But at the end of the day. it will be the Thai mothers who will decide!
To pre-guess what our children are going to do is impossible ,it could be a poor farmers son who likes to sleep all day with the aircon on :ohmy:
Correct Alan. Reasonably difficult to cast predispositions as to the situations and whom they might marry. My daughters are local girls. Raised well amongst a sorta old-school atmosphere, even though they're exposed to most everything. Personally, I would direct them towards a local situation - hard-working good young man from a decent rural family would certainly suffice.
-
Then I'd price my daughter out of the market!
Not thinking of her, Nicky?
-
Personally, I would direct them towards a local situation - hard-working good young man from a decent rural family would certainly suffice.
About as rare as rocking horse shit, I would imagine.
Just out of casual interest - how old are your daughters ?
Do they like Farangs ?
-
You are too bloody old CoCo!!!!!!!!!!
-
Indeed I am Pee Nue
I don't want either marrying one of the local layabouts who do not work, scrounge money and drink lao cow all day
However I think my 2 girls have their heads screwed on properly!
It's my son who is likely to be the problem. In the Isaan villages, if a boy screws a local lass (with her permission and agreement) and the parents find out they expect marriage or a hefty payout. I have said before that in such circumstances I would happily pay to save the parents face, BUT since it takes 2 to tango, I would expect a similar payment from the girls parents, since the girl obviously corrupted my son!
-
You are too bloody old CoCo!!!!!!!!!!
Be careful in that glasshouse with those stones.
-
I'm not asking questions CoCo!
-
Personally, I would direct them towards a local situation - hard-working good young man from a decent rural family would certainly suffice.
About as rare as rocking horse shit, I would imagine.
Just out of casual interest - how old are your daughters ?
Do they like Farangs ?
Twelve and thirteen, respectively. I would never ever consider a Farang in their lives, nor encourage it. Playing the stereotype card, are ya RAY? Noted, that there is nothing terribly special about Farang.
-
Personally, I would direct them towards a local situation - hard-working good young man from a decent rural family would certainly suffice.
About as rare as rocking horse shit, I would imagine.
Just out of casual interest - how old are your daughters ?
Do they like Farangs ?
Twelve and thirteen, respectively. I would never ever consider a Farang in their lives, nor encourage it. Playing the stereotype card, are ya RAY? Noted, that there is nothing terribly special about Farang.
Not long before they make their own minds up then
-
Indeed I am Pee Nue
I don't want either marrying one of the local layabouts who do not work, scrounge money and drink lao cow all day
However I think my 2 girls have their heads screwed on properly!
It's my son who is likely to be the problem. In the Isaan villages, if a boy screws a local lass (with her permission and agreement) and the parents find out they expect marriage or a hefty payout. I have said before that in such circumstances I would happily pay to save the parents face, BUT since it takes 2 to tango, I would expect a similar payment from the girls parents, since the girl obviously corrupted my son!
Just make sure that you and the Missus approve of the local guy of choice. There are plenty of decent sorts to be found. FFS Nicky, not all of the eligible young bucks are worthless and useless pieces of shite.
-
Indeed I am Pee Nue
I don't want either marrying one of the local layabouts who do not work, scrounge money and drink lao cow all day
However I think my 2 girls have their heads screwed on properly!
It's my son who is likely to be the problem. In the Isaan villages, if a boy screws a local lass (with her permission and agreement) and the parents find out they expect marriage or a hefty payout. I have said before that in such circumstances I would happily pay to save the parents face, BUT since it takes 2 to tango, I would expect a similar payment from the girls parents, since the girl obviously corrupted my son!
Just make sure that you and the Missus approve of the local guy of choice. There are plenty of decent sorts to be found. FFS Nicky, not all of the eligible young bucks are worthless and useless pieces of shite.
I think you will find that any else is an exception.
Why do you call Nick, "Nicky" - Jeffy ??
-
Personally, I would direct them towards a local situation - hard-working good young man from a decent rural family would certainly suffice.
About as rare as rocking horse shit, I would imagine.
Just out of casual interest - how old are your daughters ?
Do they like Farangs ?
Twelve and thirteen, respectively. I would never ever consider a Farang in their lives, nor encourage it. Playing the stereotype card, are ya RAY? Noted, that there is nothing terribly special about Farang.
Not long before they make their own minds up then
Well, any such young stud will have to go through Mrs. Pee Nuu first. Good luck with that......she's the best of character judgement. HA! HA! Best to ya, my young little darlings - as you have to pass your Mother's standard!!! wildman
-
!
Just make sure that you and the Missus approve of the local guy of choice. There are plenty of decent sorts to be found. FFS Nicky, not all of the eligible young bucks are worthless and useless pieces of shite.
[/quote]
I agree. Jut said what I did not want
-
Why do you call Nick, "Nicky" - Jeffy ??
Familial and social extensions. Are you not this way, Ray?
-
Well, any such young stud will have to go through Mrs. Pee Nuu first. Good luck with that......she's the best of character judgement. HA! HA! Best to ya, my young little darlings - as you have to pass your Mother's standard!!! wildman
I believe that is the Father's job!
-
Why do you call Nick, "Nicky" - Jeffy ??
Familial and social extensions. Are you not this way, Ray?
Most certainly not - most presumptuous under English etiquette rules.
-
Why do you call Nick, "Nicky" - Jeffy ??
Familial and social extensions. Are you not this way, Ray?
Most certainly not - most presumptuous under English etiquette rules.
Anti-socialite. pray1
-
Why do you call Nick, "Nicky" - Jeffy ??
Familial and social extensions. Are you not this way, Ray?
Most certainly not - most presumptuous under English etiquette rules.
Anti-socialite. pray1
I hope so !
-
Well, any such young stud will have to go through Mrs. Pee Nuu first. Good luck with that......she's the best of character judgement. HA! HA! Best to ya, my young little darlings - as you have to pass your Mother's standard!!! wildman
I believe that is the Father's job!
Not in a Matriarchal society, it ain't. Or...I'm guessing that that you have yet to figure out Thai culture....??
-
Not in a Matriarchal society, it ain't. Or...I'm guessing that that you have yet to figure out Thai culture....??
Thai culture be fcuked!
Look at the state of the country because of it!
They are my daughters, and I will decide!
-
Sounds like you are under the thumb Pee Nuu!
-
Well, any such young stud will have to go through Mrs. Pee Nuu first. Good luck with that......she's the best of character judgement. HA! HA! Best to ya, my young little darlings - as you have to pass your Mother's standard!!! wildman
I believe that is the Father's job!
Not in a Matriarchal society, it ain't. Or...I'm guessing that that you have yet to figure out Thai culture....??
That would be an arrogant assumption or, are you and your wife BOTH Thai ?
-
Sounds like you are under the thumb Pee Nuu!
I'm the boss around here.....and I've the wife's permission to be so. party15
-
10 years in Isaan and I have NEVER seen sinsod repaid after the ceremony. The mothers want it to pay off their gambling loans!
No you won't have seen 'Sinsot' paid back Nick because it's done behind closed doors. The 'Sinsot' is paraded openly before the marriage but once that show is finished, it fades into the distance. Only the parents and the couple really knows what goes on, it's not a public thing to show. Like with most Thais you will not get an honest answer as to who got it back and who didn't.
I never paid 'Sinsot' and I never paid for a wedding party. Reason being, I thought the money would be better spent on other things. Which it was, and my wife fully agreed with my decision. Each to their own.
-
My wording was incorrect - but what I intended to convey was that in the villages surrounding Prakhonchai, sinsot is grabbed by the Mothers after being paraded, and is not returned at any time!
Greedy Fcuking Cows!
In most cases of Thai/Thai marriages, the dowry is borrowed at horrendous rates (known to but disregarded by the Mothers), and for the next 2/3 years the newly married couple have to work their bollocks off to repay the loan. What start to married life is that?
-
Sounds like you are under the thumb Pee Nuu!
I'm the boss around here.....and I've the wife's permission to be so. party15
It is a good job that Mrs Pee-Nuu wears the trousers because Mr Pee-Nuu cannot seem to decide whether (1) There is a ready supply of good, hardworking Thai boys in every village waiting to de-flower and sin sot his daughters or, (2) Thai boys are all a bunch of w4nkers (the WTF thread).
"curmudgeonly misanthropic" ? - more like consistently inconsistent !
-
Sounds like you are under the thumb Pee Nuu!
I'm the boss around here.....and I've the wife's permission to be so. party15
It is a good job that Mrs Pee-Nuu wears the trousers because Mr Pee-Nuu cannot seem to decide whether (1) There is a ready supply of good, hardworking Thai boys in every village waiting to de-flower and sin sot his daughters or, (2) Thai boys are all a bunch of w4nkers (the WTF thread).
"curmudgeonly misanthropic" ? - more like consistently inconsistent !
The great paradox, Ray! pray1
-
I was told about sin sot, before I got married and as I have said before I was worried about rocking the boat and paid about 100k (baht) which I then found out payed for the wedding with 200 guests and with the remainder my mother in law bought us land which we have built our house on so I was lucky, but I do know of lots of bad stories where the daughter has kept the money and not told the husband leaving the old mother to struggle on her own, this in my experience is looked on very badly by the community, sin sot is not looked on badly but what is done with it after has more importance than how much it is.
Anyway all families are different and most have never had money so until you find out that you were lucky or not, just keep cool and hope your judgement with your wife to be is correct, because if your in-laws screw you over it will be painful but not as bad as your wife doing it, you can always moan about bad in-laws but the wife was your choice.
Jon
-
sensible stuff Jon. I did likewise, took the gamble, we now have a house and a good few Rai. My in-laws recently told me its more than enough to live off if we have to move over here permanently sooner than expected, as they saw the news about the economy in Ireland. We are staying in Ireland a few more years to save up more and get the child through school, but i appreciated the jesture greatly.
-
I would never pay this,why should i?
Im a take it or leave it kind of guy.
With eyes wide open
-
I'm in the "won't pay" team.
I will do/have done more than my bit for the missus (and her family) - that will not include paying over money/gold for show or false tradition.
-
Rent, don't buy! :D :D :D love3
When in Rome, burn it down! crazydance
-
I've been in the "won't pay" team twice. Don't anticipate there being a 3rd time, but if there is, then I will have a hat trick of "won't pays!"
-
There isn't any such standard answer to the sin sod query, as every situation and marriage will be different.
Too true.
Just had a Thai wedding in the Village were a 50 year old man married a 15 ( just) year old girl.The wife said it was OK as he paid 100k .As all Thais know ,if young flesh is your thing you have to dig deep ::)
-
Too true.
Just had a Thai wedding in the Village were a 50 year old man married a 15 ( just) year old girl.The wife said it was OK as he paid 100k .As all Thais know ,if young flesh is your thing you have to dig deep ::)
[/quote]
This is sick stuff, in fact it is the saddest thing I have read on this site, how can it be OK to let your kids be abused, how can the family stand for it and how can the police stand by and do x all, don't say they don't know everyone in village life knows some police and unless I'm mistaken this news would travel quicker than this post gets uploaded to this forum, so cops are bound to know.
100k or 1000000000000000k so fucking what!!! How much do you need to make it "OK" to kill somebody then. This C**T is a nonse and if anyone here thinks otherwise stay the x away from me when I'm back in Thailand, and this fucking paedophile better not be in my village either cause he won't enjoy my company.
-
Too true.
Just had a Thai wedding in the Village were a 50 year old man married a 15 ( just) year old girl.The wife said it was OK as he paid 100k .As all Thais know ,if young flesh is your thing you have to dig deep ::)
This is sick stuff, in fact it is the saddest thing I have read on this site, how can it be OK to let your kids be abused, how can the family stand for it and how can the police stand by and do x all, don't say they don't know everyone in village life knows some police and unless I'm mistaken this news would travel quicker than this post gets uploaded to this forum, so cops are bound to know.
100k or 1000000000000000k so fucking what!!! How much do you need to make it "OK" to kill somebody then. This C**T is a nonse and if anyone here thinks otherwise stay the x away from me when I'm back in Thailand, and this fucking paedophile better not be in my village either cause he won't enjoy my company.
Happens all the time out in the Villages John,the sad fact is, its up to the parents to press charges not for the Police to act on information. The age of consent is 15 in Thailand if the parents say its OK ( Thais with Thais) but the law says any parent can have a man or young lad charge with rape if their daughter is under 20 and if they refuse to pay money for having sex with their daughter.
Some things in Thailand you can never get your head round screwy
-
JT - King Canute couldn't change the tides - I doubt that you will fare any better.
All the parties involved in that little soap opera won't give a flying x what you think (or consider anything unusual in what happened) nor would they take kindly to a Falang sticking his nose into "Thai business". Although this was a Thai/Thai wedding I am aware that a Thai 13 year old was groomed for 3 years for presentation as a virgin to a European Falang.
YOU cannot change things so either accept some of the established practices in Thailand or you will have a difficult time settling in.
-
CoCo,
I won't ever except cultural differences on this subject, I know the damage it does to people first hand. i.e my sister was a victim of this crime and I know other victims too. And I know that this man has a illness that cannot be treated but should not be tolerated. I have no prejudice against sexual preference until it involves children. It took me a while to understand that in Thailand you are not really considered gay if you have sex with a Ladyboy ( if that floats your boat) and I am very liberal with most subjects, but I draw the line with abuse. I know you have seen me rant on this site before then later calmed down, and I have truly appreciated your advice and support.
but in my opinion this is different, maybe not for the Thai community and their Kay sara sara whatever happens was supposed to Karma ethos, Or some throw back from ancient times where she would be considered an adult.
You said you were aware that for 3 years she was being groomed for some European how is that acceptable or Thai culture?
Sounds like Child pimping to me.
If there daughter was kidnapped and sold on the street of Bangkok they would say it was an evil crime but if they groom her and do it themselves then it's OK? Hows that work?
If I am unable to settle in to Thai life because of my view on this subject then it's Thailand's loss not mine, and this guy will never walk on my land Thai or Falang. I so far have never found it difficult settling in Buriram and since my first visit have never been treated like a falang no special treatment I work in the fields,build around the village, attend meetings, and have the friendship and trust of the Mayor.In fact he introduces me as his English Son.
This is no dig at you CoCo just letting you and the rest of the Forum know where I stand on the subject.
-
Jon - I am not giving an opinion (I know you are not having a dig) or condoning anything.
What I am saying is that what happened is "bprohk ga dti" = standard/normal/routine.
What I am saying is that YOU have to live with that 'normality' if you choose Thailand to be your home. YOU don't have to condone but you have to recognise that it exists and deal with it. Your views are as insignificant as your views might be on Thais driving habits.
They won't change in the forseeable future so you will have to learn to handle it. As we have discussed before any anger or aggression from you will only backfire on one person.
-
CoCo,
wise words again, I just can't get my head around a fifty year old watching and waiting for a child to marry, if it was the girls 17-18year old boyfriend then yeah I can except that and I know that this is not just a Thailand issue and bad things happen everywhere but it won't be condoned at my house here in the UK or my home in Buriram.
I except it happens but I don't have to like it. And to lighten the mood a little when I got married in the village the rumour that spread around a few day before the wedding was my wife was marrying a 17 year old English boy!!
But unfortunately the married years have aged me a fair bit.
-
The problem Jon is i doubt the thai family really cares and your views wont make one dot of difference,or do you think otherwise?
-
I agree Frank, my views won't make the slightest bit of difference to the family or anybody else, but they are are mine and I feel they are 100% correct.
The sad thing is in poor countries money can get you what you want, be it Thailand or not. and I'm sure that if any western country had the economics of a south-east asian county the same thing would go on, in fact it does from eastern Europe.
does it make it right? No chance!
My views won't change anything but I have a right to express them, and if anyone thinks my values on this specific subject are wrong regardless of cultural differences say so it's their right to have their opinion but I doubt we would get on very well.
-
Too true.
Just had a Thai wedding in the Village were a 50 year old man married a 15 ( just) year old girl.The wife said it was OK as he paid 100k .As all Thais know ,if young flesh is your thing you have to dig deep ::)
This is sick stuff, in fact it is the saddest thing I have read on this site, how can it be OK to let your kids be abused, how can the family stand for it and how can the police stand by and do x all, don't say they don't know everyone in village life knows some police and unless I'm mistaken this news would travel quicker than this post gets uploaded to this forum, so cops are bound to know.
100k or 1000000000000000k so fucking what!!! How much do you need to make it "OK" to kill somebody then. This C**T is a nonse and if anyone here thinks otherwise stay the x away from me when I'm back in Thailand, and this fucking paedophile better not be in my village either cause he won't enjoy my company.
Happens all the time out in the Villages John,the sad fact is, its up to the parents to press charges not for the Police to act on information. The age of consent is 15 in Thailand if the parents say its OK ( Thais with Thais) but the law says any parent can have a man or young lad charge with rape if their daughter is under 20 and if they refuse to pay money for having sex with their daughter.
Some things in Thailand you can never get your head round screwy
The age of consent is indeed 15, but I don't think your statement that a man can be charged with rape if the girl is under 20 and he refuses to pay money for having sex is totally correct
In the villages, many parents will try and obtain money from a boy if he has had sex with the daughter (or even try and force a marriage) , and most boys and their families duly oblige, BUT, I do not think there is any law to enforce this, especially where the sex was consensual. Perhaps Tonyc, you can provide specifics on the law.
Last year in my village, 2 14 year olds "married" (village wedding only -not registered) their 18/19 year old boyfriends, whilst one girl, now just 17 has given birth to her 3rd child!
Young kids, 13,14 and 15 will have sex these days, some even younger, and there is very little that can be done to stop this, But a parent condoning this by allowing a 14/15 year old to marry her boyfriend is obnoxious. They don't care about their children -it's only the 30/40,000bt sin sod that matters!
-
The age of consent is indeed 15, but I don't think your statement that a man can be charged with rape if the girl is under 20 and he refuses to pay money for having sex is totally correct
In the villages, many parents will try and obtain money from a boy if he has had sex with the daughter (or even try and force a marriage) , and most boys and their families duly oblige, BUT, I do not think there is any law to enforce this, especially where the sex was consensual. Perhaps Tonyc, you can provide specifics on the law.
Last year in my village, 2 14 year olds "married" (village wedding only -not registered) their 18/19 year old boyfriends, whilst one girl, now just 17 has given birth to her 3rd child!
Young kids, 13,14 and 15 will have sex these days, some even younger, and there is very little that can be done to stop this, But a parent condoning this by allowing a 14/15 year old to marry her boyfriend is obnoxious. They don't care about their children -it's only the 30/40,000bt sin sod that matters!
You are correct Nick in all you say Nick.Not sure if I could find a actual Law that states my claim as I'm not a lawyer but however parts of the Prevention and Suppression of Prostitution Act which disallow any sexual contact with prostitutes under the age of 18, are widely interpreted by some local authorities to cover sexual acts classed as "obscenity for personal gratification". Also from the Penal Code Amendment Act of 1997 Section 283bis, having sex with a child under 18 is a compoundable offense even with the consent of that person. The parent or the child may file charges against the other side if he or she later regrets his or her own action. This ostensibly makes the Thai unfettered age of consent 18.
All I know is in the 8 years I have lived in our Village NOT ONE family has refused to pay money when a man/boy has been caught having sex with a girl under 18 or even up to 20.!!!
Here is a link from TV with may be of some interest .... http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/333734-the-legal-age-in-thailand-is-20/
-
Very interesting Tonyc. I will try and look closely at the various laws.
As you say, practically everyone pays, largely due to their ignorance of the law, and belief of everything they are told.
I am waiting the day sometime in the future when a mother knocks on my door as a result of my son having had consensual sex with her daughter. She will not find me an easy pushover.!
-
Very interesting Tonyc. I will try and look closely at the various laws.
As you say, practically everyone pays, largely due to their ignorance of the law, and belief of everything they are told.
I am waiting the day sometime in the future when a mother knocks on my door as a result of my son having had consensual sex with her daughter. She will not find me an easy pushover.!
I suspect that YOU will probably be at the mother's door first - seeking payment for the daughter de-flowering your son. smilenod
-
Well said CoCO. It does take 2 to tango - and my son, like his father before him is not likely to be easily led astray!
-
Well said CoCO. It does take 2 to tango - and my son, like his father before him is not likely to be easily led astray!
Lady-boys always seem to have money in the local villages ::),no chances of any come backs form a girls parents after having a brief 30 minute relationship for some of the local young men. :biggrin:
-
There isn't any such standard answer to the sin sod query, as every situation and marriage will be different.
Too true.
Just had a Thai wedding in the Village were a 50 year old man married a 15 ( just) year old girl.The wife said it was OK as he paid 100k .As all Thais know ,if young flesh is your thing you have to dig deep ::)
Where is this village as im seeing nothing like this happening in my village... Only news in my village is the big fat 16 year old is pregnant to a Thai boy ha..
-
Was it a Thai man that married a 15 year old or falang??? Also how did a falang man find a child in a village if thats the case... Im shocked that this could happen but my wife says its normal if he takes care of her and the family but i cant get my head around it :wacko:
-
I am waiting the day sometime in the future when a mother knocks on my door as a result of my son having had consensual sex with her daughter. She will not find me an easy pushover.!
Been there done that and it stinks. I refused to pay money for the stupid f****er and said he can go to prison and learn a lesson.
Seen and heard about it many times between the peasants.
Seriously, most village families know less about Thai law than us aliens!!! FFS!
p.s. I also think its child abuse too!!!
-
Strange you should be looking in at the sin sod thread Taitanik. Something in the offing?
-
Strange you should be looking in at the sin sod thread Taitanik. Something in the offing?
:D Just an observer like you